You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
As ever, good luck to you!Contender said:Two Parties this Weekend!!! Sunday will be the hottest one! FR FR FR FR FReports BABY!!!!!!!
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
Yeah. Even if you don't usually get hangovers, after two nights in a row, you'll quite likely be feeling it after, lol.dannowillbookem said:i hate partying alot. its physically exauhsting when im drunk for two nights in a row.
You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.
The most important thing to do is to remain nonchalant - you should not give a sh*t; why must you remain so dependent on them, and that girl in particular? (I know there has to be some girl in that group that you like...)itishe said:Contender first let me congradulate you on your progress.
I see you have went from one of the lowest social rungs quickly climbing the ladder to the top, that's why I come to ask you for some suggestions.
I myself have fallen from grace. I used to get invited to parties, had five-eight friends call most days to do something, etc. then I got lazy and started to blow them off. I want to get back out into the social world again! I will make efforts to call friends and ask them if they want to do something (I live in a small town so that constitutes going to the beach or a movie) but a majority of the time they'll say "no, I'm busy", "I'm too tired", "ohhh, I already got plans with XXXX".
The worst thing about the above is I'd fool myself into thinking I didn't want to do anything in the first place. "Oh I should be here playing bass", "I should be wasting my time playing World of Warcraft for half an hour", etc. Basically finding reasons for me to stay home and not want to do anything more.
I feel like I have put grease on my hands and slipped off the ladder. I'd go out and meet new people if there were new people to meet, but in a town of five thousand you pretty much know everyone within a 4 year age bubble.
What would you recommend to get me back up to my social life I had a year or two ago?
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.