"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

Constant delays?

TheNewGuy

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Alright so I've been working on this girl for a while.

Last tuesday: We were supposed to hang out, she called to ask what time to come over. Turns out I had a hair cut, so she said she'd come over Friday.

Friday: I call to ask her what time she's coming over, she says her friend is still over her house. She then says we'll hang out monday.

Monday (today): I call her to see what she's doing. She says she's in my neighborhood, driving by. I go "Oh ok, so what time are you coming over?" She tells me she'll call me back. This was 30 minutes ago.

I'm pretty pissed, I think I'm just gonna next her. I just think it's weird how she's been saying she'll come over on day X, but then for some reason can't. Why would she say she'll come over if she intends not to?
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Mr_rogers

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TheNewGuy said:
Alright so I've been working on this girl for a while.

Last tuesday: We were supposed to hang out, she called to ask what time to come over. Turns out I had a hair cut, so she said she'd come over Friday.

Friday: I call to ask her what time she's coming over, she says her friend is still over her house. She then says we'll hang out monday.

Monday (today): I call her to see what she's doing. She says she's in my neighborhood, driving by. I go "Oh ok, so what time are you coming over?" She tells me she'll call me back. This was 30 minutes ago.

I'm pretty pissed, I think I'm just gonna next her. I just think it's weird how she's been saying she'll come over on day X, but then for some reason can't. Why would she say she'll come over if she intends not to?
She's one of those girls who is trying too hard to not shatter your self esteem by being nice, and saying that she'll do things with you and not showing up, rather than just telling you that she isn't interested. Next her.
 
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Damian

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Tactic #1 is to simply distance yourself and wait for her to close the gap. Don't initiate reactions with her unless it is to "call her back" or something of the sort for a week. If she reinitiates and tries to get together, take her off of probation status. Don't get too frustrated about flakiness unless it becomes a chronic (more than two weeks) condition. You just have to accept that sometimes, there are schedule conflicts that are just unavoidable.

-Damian
 

TheNewGuy

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Mr_rogers said:
She's one of those girls is trying too hard to not shatter your self esteem by being nice, and saying that she'll do things with you and not showing up, rather than just telling you that she isn't interested. Next her.
Ouch. Truth hurts...


Thanks though
 
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