"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Conquering Approach Anxiety

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abcd_z

Senior Don Juan
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You're read the DJ bible. You've decided to start talking to an attractive woman. But somehow, you're just too scared to approach. Somehow, closing the distance between you and her just seems an insurmountable feat. And not just her. Each time you try to approach, your own nerves cause you to crash and burn long before anything she says could.

This will keep happening to you until you get used to actually making the approach. But in the meantime, keep at it. Let's say you failed five approaches, and you're already on your way home. Conquering approach anxiety is an important part of building the skills you need to become a true Don Juan, so DO NOT GIVE UP. If you give up now, you will never improve. Be aware of your current limitations, but keep at it anyways. If you keep plugging away at it, no matter how many times you lose the courage, one day you will break through that fear and make the approach.

But until then, never give up.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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E

everywomanshero

Master Don Juan
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Actions always come before the feelings. He's right that people do need to take action.

You can only reduce approach anxiety so much without taking action.

I think it's a combination of reframing cognitively (chaning your thoughts, not thinking negatively) and taking action (actually approaching).
 
O

Obsidian

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A sizeable percentage of girls are willing to tolerate some nervousness on your part. Be willing to fail and also be willing to get better over time. Just because you're nervous before you approach doesn't mean that you should fail to approach.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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22 Rules for Massive Success With Women
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