"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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Conquering Approach Anxiety

abcd_z

Senior Don Juan
Joined
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You're read the DJ bible. You've decided to start talking to an attractive woman. But somehow, you're just too scared to approach. Somehow, closing the distance between you and her just seems an insurmountable feat. And not just her. Each time you try to approach, your own nerves cause you to crash and burn long before anything she says could.

This will keep happening to you until you get used to actually making the approach. But in the meantime, keep at it. Let's say you failed five approaches, and you're already on your way home. Conquering approach anxiety is an important part of building the skills you need to become a true Don Juan, so DO NOT GIVE UP. If you give up now, you will never improve. Be aware of your current limitations, but keep at it anyways. If you keep plugging away at it, no matter how many times you lose the courage, one day you will break through that fear and make the approach.

But until then, never give up.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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everywomanshero

Master Don Juan
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Actions always come before the feelings. He's right that people do need to take action.

You can only reduce approach anxiety so much without taking action.

I think it's a combination of reframing cognitively (chaning your thoughts, not thinking negatively) and taking action (actually approaching).
 

Obsidian

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 17, 2006
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A sizeable percentage of girls are willing to tolerate some nervousness on your part. Be willing to fail and also be willing to get better over time. Just because you're nervous before you approach doesn't mean that you should fail to approach.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

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