"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Conquering Approach Anxiety

abcd_z

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jun 28, 2003
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You're read the DJ bible. You've decided to start talking to an attractive woman. But somehow, you're just too scared to approach. Somehow, closing the distance between you and her just seems an insurmountable feat. And not just her. Each time you try to approach, your own nerves cause you to crash and burn long before anything she says could.

This will keep happening to you until you get used to actually making the approach. But in the meantime, keep at it. Let's say you failed five approaches, and you're already on your way home. Conquering approach anxiety is an important part of building the skills you need to become a true Don Juan, so DO NOT GIVE UP. If you give up now, you will never improve. Be aware of your current limitations, but keep at it anyways. If you keep plugging away at it, no matter how many times you lose the courage, one day you will break through that fear and make the approach.

But until then, never give up.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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everywomanshero

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 2, 2005
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Actions always come before the feelings. He's right that people do need to take action.

You can only reduce approach anxiety so much without taking action.

I think it's a combination of reframing cognitively (chaning your thoughts, not thinking negatively) and taking action (actually approaching).
 

Obsidian

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 17, 2006
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TN
A sizeable percentage of girls are willing to tolerate some nervousness on your part. Be willing to fail and also be willing to get better over time. Just because you're nervous before you approach doesn't mean that you should fail to approach.
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

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