"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Confident stance - Beyond language and even sight

Galvan

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Hello everyone.
This is my first post in the forums. Actually, this is more like a question I want to look into.

I'm not really into flirting as a set of intructions and techniques. Maybe most of you disagree with me. And it's ok, I don't want to convince you of anything. I prefer to leave that to trial and error, and finally to experience.

However, there's a thing.
I'm a normal, post teenager guy. In looks, I'm fairly average or even a little below if I compare myself with my friends. I'm not an artist and I don't wear wacky, flashy things like dreadlocks, piercings or mohawks (nor any of its variations). I'm not even into fashion clothes, so I would say that there are a lot of guys more attractive to me in terms of looks.

But I like to pick up girls on the street. Well, more than pick up is like talking to them, showing them who and how I am in a fun and nice way, asking her facebook if she's interested.
There are two things about that:
On the bad side, that almost never works. They usually see me as an annoying, talking guy in an hostile environment where they just want to home/her destination (and being honest, like most people do).
On the good side, is so simple that doesn't even qualify as being aggressive or harassing. They don't dump me, instead they show me her lack of interest.

But there's another way. When for some reason a girl is attacted to me and is showing me her looks. When that happens, I exchange looks with and approach her to say some cliche like ask for the time and soon she gives me her facebook with a big smile on her face.
That rarely happens, but when it does, is a thousand times worth more than the first.


And here's where the interesting thing kicks in.
If for some lucky star that passed by, I get a number or facebook contact, I feel so great and happy that my stance in that day changes completely.
Therefore, my chances of getting the looks of a girl next on that day scales enourmosly. I even stop looking for them. In fact, I stop trying anything. I just feel great about myself and a little amazed about this. There was a day I got hit by three different girls just because of this. Two of them gave me her facebook and I started an open but affectionate relationship with one of the two.
The third looked at me when I was stepping out of the bus. I sat in front of her, giving the back. I never looked, I was just thinking of this and feeling great. When I was stepping out the bus, I was given the same looks.

And that's it. On the next day, I get back to normal.

I started thinking "what the hell? they looked like they smelled my confidence. That's great, but I want to do that consciously and not relying on luck".
So I wondered if you have some piece of advice to say.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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Huffman

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It's normal. You were on a HUGE high that day.

I mean hey, you can't run around high on endorphins all day, right?

For me the answer is to increase the activities that will bring me such a high. I get it after a good workout session, after talking up to a girl, or after doing anything cool or challenging in general.

So it will happen more often, but probably not permanently. If you're interested, I think Tim from RSD had some kind of seminar where he talks mostly about that momentary confidence, and on how to summon a reasonable amount of it at will.
 

Galvan

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Huffman said:
It's normal. You were on a HUGE high that day.

I mean hey, you can't run around high on endorphins all day, right?

For me the answer is to increase the activities that will bring me such a high. I get it after a good workout session, after talking up to a girl, or after doing anything cool or challenging in general.

So it will happen more often, but probably not permanently. If you're interested, I think Tim from RSD had some kind of seminar where he talks mostly about that momentary confidence, and on how to summon a reasonable amount of it at will.
That's fairly correct. That day I was doing workout just before going out and meeting the first girl. And then it went like a snowball. Perhaps the rush of endorphines was the main factor of this. :)
Who's Tim and what's RSD?
 

Huffman

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The seminar is called "Flawless Natural", you can buy it on DVD. Not sure how expensive it is though. Alternatively, just search for "tim" and "rsd" on google, and I'm sure he has written alot of free articles as well.

Take him with a grain of salt, but he really tries to explore that state of feeling awesome.
 

AlexLefty

Master Don Juan
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Where are you from? How old are you?

And you admit to not being very attractive..so why the hell don't you change that?
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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LearningSlowly

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I'm not really into flirting as a set of intructions and techniques. Maybe most of you disagree with me. And it's ok, I don't want to convince you of anything. I prefer to leave that to trial and error, and finally to experience.
I don't think you'll find much disagreement. This forum (at least the HS section) is founded on positivity and confidence. Remain positive and prepared to approach and good things happen, your experience is just more proof of that.
 

Galvan

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AlexLefty said:
Where are you from? How old are you?

And you admit to not being very attractive..so why the hell don't you change that?
Im 25, and from latin america.

Dont get me wrong. I'm not saying I'm ugly.

I'm saying that I'm nothing special in terms of appearance. Some sell a character like "revolutionary hero" (yes, that's the **** for leftists here) or "the pretty blonde with blue eyes". Unlike those guys, I'm just a normal guy that blends in a crowd.

But hey, I'm ok with that. I don't agree with those ways of attractiveness.
I'm pretty fine with the way I am, except for the fact that I want to be more in shape. And I'm doing workouts to get into it.
And "in shape" means being in shape, not schwarzenegger lol

The point of saying that is to put things in context. I got hit by 3 girls in a day without being specially hot or flashy. That's something that amazed me.
 

Galvan

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Maybe this is the wrong subforum. Even if I don't qualify as an adult, I'm talking about the street more than a closed environment like "high school".
 
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