"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

Read more...

Confident stance - Beyond language and even sight

Galvan

Don Juan
Joined
Dec 24, 2012
Messages
19
Reaction score
0
Hello everyone.
This is my first post in the forums. Actually, this is more like a question I want to look into.

I'm not really into flirting as a set of intructions and techniques. Maybe most of you disagree with me. And it's ok, I don't want to convince you of anything. I prefer to leave that to trial and error, and finally to experience.

However, there's a thing.
I'm a normal, post teenager guy. In looks, I'm fairly average or even a little below if I compare myself with my friends. I'm not an artist and I don't wear wacky, flashy things like dreadlocks, piercings or mohawks (nor any of its variations). I'm not even into fashion clothes, so I would say that there are a lot of guys more attractive to me in terms of looks.

But I like to pick up girls on the street. Well, more than pick up is like talking to them, showing them who and how I am in a fun and nice way, asking her facebook if she's interested.
There are two things about that:
On the bad side, that almost never works. They usually see me as an annoying, talking guy in an hostile environment where they just want to home/her destination (and being honest, like most people do).
On the good side, is so simple that doesn't even qualify as being aggressive or harassing. They don't dump me, instead they show me her lack of interest.

But there's another way. When for some reason a girl is attacted to me and is showing me her looks. When that happens, I exchange looks with and approach her to say some cliche like ask for the time and soon she gives me her facebook with a big smile on her face.
That rarely happens, but when it does, is a thousand times worth more than the first.


And here's where the interesting thing kicks in.
If for some lucky star that passed by, I get a number or facebook contact, I feel so great and happy that my stance in that day changes completely.
Therefore, my chances of getting the looks of a girl next on that day scales enourmosly. I even stop looking for them. In fact, I stop trying anything. I just feel great about myself and a little amazed about this. There was a day I got hit by three different girls just because of this. Two of them gave me her facebook and I started an open but affectionate relationship with one of the two.
The third looked at me when I was stepping out of the bus. I sat in front of her, giving the back. I never looked, I was just thinking of this and feeling great. When I was stepping out the bus, I was given the same looks.

And that's it. On the next day, I get back to normal.

I started thinking "what the hell? they looked like they smelled my confidence. That's great, but I want to do that consciously and not relying on luck".
So I wondered if you have some piece of advice to say.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

Read more...

Huffman

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 29, 2007
Messages
1,499
Reaction score
166
It's normal. You were on a HUGE high that day.

I mean hey, you can't run around high on endorphins all day, right?

For me the answer is to increase the activities that will bring me such a high. I get it after a good workout session, after talking up to a girl, or after doing anything cool or challenging in general.

So it will happen more often, but probably not permanently. If you're interested, I think Tim from RSD had some kind of seminar where he talks mostly about that momentary confidence, and on how to summon a reasonable amount of it at will.
 

Galvan

Don Juan
Joined
Dec 24, 2012
Messages
19
Reaction score
0
Huffman said:
It's normal. You were on a HUGE high that day.

I mean hey, you can't run around high on endorphins all day, right?

For me the answer is to increase the activities that will bring me such a high. I get it after a good workout session, after talking up to a girl, or after doing anything cool or challenging in general.

So it will happen more often, but probably not permanently. If you're interested, I think Tim from RSD had some kind of seminar where he talks mostly about that momentary confidence, and on how to summon a reasonable amount of it at will.
That's fairly correct. That day I was doing workout just before going out and meeting the first girl. And then it went like a snowball. Perhaps the rush of endorphines was the main factor of this. :)
Who's Tim and what's RSD?
 

Huffman

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 29, 2007
Messages
1,499
Reaction score
166
The seminar is called "Flawless Natural", you can buy it on DVD. Not sure how expensive it is though. Alternatively, just search for "tim" and "rsd" on google, and I'm sure he has written alot of free articles as well.

Take him with a grain of salt, but he really tries to explore that state of feeling awesome.
 

AlexLefty

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 12, 2010
Messages
755
Reaction score
9
Location
Cali
Where are you from? How old are you?

And you admit to not being very attractive..so why the hell don't you change that?
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

Read more...

LearningSlowly

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 8, 2011
Messages
1,206
Reaction score
12
Location
Atlanta
I'm not really into flirting as a set of intructions and techniques. Maybe most of you disagree with me. And it's ok, I don't want to convince you of anything. I prefer to leave that to trial and error, and finally to experience.
I don't think you'll find much disagreement. This forum (at least the HS section) is founded on positivity and confidence. Remain positive and prepared to approach and good things happen, your experience is just more proof of that.
 

Galvan

Don Juan
Joined
Dec 24, 2012
Messages
19
Reaction score
0
AlexLefty said:
Where are you from? How old are you?

And you admit to not being very attractive..so why the hell don't you change that?
Im 25, and from latin america.

Dont get me wrong. I'm not saying I'm ugly.

I'm saying that I'm nothing special in terms of appearance. Some sell a character like "revolutionary hero" (yes, that's the **** for leftists here) or "the pretty blonde with blue eyes". Unlike those guys, I'm just a normal guy that blends in a crowd.

But hey, I'm ok with that. I don't agree with those ways of attractiveness.
I'm pretty fine with the way I am, except for the fact that I want to be more in shape. And I'm doing workouts to get into it.
And "in shape" means being in shape, not schwarzenegger lol

The point of saying that is to put things in context. I got hit by 3 girls in a day without being specially hot or flashy. That's something that amazed me.
 

Galvan

Don Juan
Joined
Dec 24, 2012
Messages
19
Reaction score
0
Maybe this is the wrong subforum. Even if I don't qualify as an adult, I'm talking about the street more than a closed environment like "high school".
 
Top