Confident Persistance: The Girl Who Cancelled The Date

[Giovanni Casanova]

Originally posted by Genghis Juan
I think Confident Persistence is a good technique on girls who are more conservative and less likely to jump into relationships or bed with just any guy.

I think if one adheres to screening out girls who don't exhibit a high immediate interest level, alot of the girls you attract will tend to be sluttier or relationship monkeys (swing from one Rship to the other).

I think that's a very good point, and it's been my experience as well.

 

[Player_Supreme]

Originally posted by Giovanni Casanova
All right, here's the thing. There's nothing wrong with what you're talking about in SOME situations, I've done this myself before.

But it really does depend on the girl, and part of this whole thing is figuring out what kind of girl you're dealing with here. Is this the kind of girl who will respond well to a guy who says, "Me knock you on the head and drag you back to me cave"? There are some girls who like a guy that tells her what to do.

But there are other girls who will be absolutely turned OFF by the guy who "assumes the sale", so to speak.

The rest depends on a guy's style.

For your style, you use a "salesman" style. You assume the sale, you frame your questions so that "no" isn't an obvious choice. You push the girl in the direction you want her to go. This works with some girls, but certainly not all.

My style is more of an "attorney" style. While the first rule of a salesman is to assume the sale, the first rule of an attorney is "Only ask questions you know the answer to." In this case, I knew she would say yes (I could tell by her attitude on the phone) and I therefore didn't have to worry that the "no" option was on the table -- she wouldn't take it. All I was doing was getting it "on the record" that we would go out.

And at the same time, I didn't have to worrry about coming across as kind of slimy. You know when you go to buy something and you're not sure exactly what you want, but the salesman kind of pressures you into selling you what he wants to sell you? And you feel kind of resentful toward the salesman, because he was only after what was best for him, not what was in your mutual best interests? That's how a girl can feel if you say, "This is what we're doing, and I will pick you up at this time." Even if she says yes.

1. My style isn't a salesman style I was merely offering that as a option. My true style is authoratative. Women only choose me because of my aura so I don't have any problems selling anything.

2. My comments were to give you a better direction in the future. I read your words and I can see your point of view. I was not attacking your style just trying to help make you a better player/don juan or whatever you want to call it.

3. If you say you knew she wouldn't of said no, then so be it. For me I think it's better to make sure since we all know how fickle women can be....especially ones whom you have to be persistant with and chase around. Now ask yourself is it worth it? This woman obviously has other choices she can make (as do most other women out there in the dating scene).

4. As I stated when a woman chooses it's actually a done deal. You just have to sometimes like you did pin her down. And the real subject that "I" was talking about for YOUR situation was better techniques to "PIN" her down. I had already assumed that she was choosing. That way is just to ensure that it happens when YOU want it to happen, not her.

It puts all the power back on your plate. Your statements that I showed you lacked power and direction and control over the situation. To me it looked like (even though I could be wrong), that you were the begger. And you don't need to beg Casanova.

No man needs to chase after and beg a woman for her time!

I guess we have too different styles. No biggy.

In my arena we read alot of stuff to help improve your game like:



"Secrets of Power Persuasion By Roger Dawson...not written by a player, but the name says it all.
I also find philiosphy books are good for expanding your mind and making you think lateral instead of linear..

............, so learn how to expand your mind and create your own game."

peace

 

[Player_Supreme]

Originally posted by Genghis Juan
I think Confident Persistence is a good technique on girls who are more conservative and less likely to jump into relationships or bed with just any guy.

I think if one adheres to screening out girls who don't exhibit a high immediate interest level, alot of the girls you attract will tend to be sluttier or relationship monkeys (swing from one Rship to the other).

1. I have not found this to be true in all of my years of handling women.

2. I do see your points though.

3. Now lets apply this:


There is a girl who has very low interest level in YOU. You persue her and try to woe this woman.

She is not very interested because she has many choices on her plate. Even conservative women have suitors and can pick and choose.

You spend a load of money and time only to get a peck on the cheek, while she spends the next night at someother guy whom she is persuings house.

Which one would you like to be.

The chump chasing after her, or the other guy.

I do realize that there is a certain thrill of victory from chasing after a girl and finally getting the panties.

Even conservative women are still women and will fall for the same techniques that all the others fall for, which is why chasing them doesn't work. Women do not want to be chased like that, it lowers their own interest level.

In Casanova's statements that I outlined. He lacked confidence and direction which are qualities the lack thereof that women hate! I recently interviewed a number of women for a little book that I'm writing and found this to be true!

Women love men who are sure of themselves and have a direction they can follow.

It is one thing to say Confident Persuing and another to actually do it.

 

[Knicknack]

Originally posted by crowes22
Player and Knicknack need some real experience

i hope your age posted is a joke after that comment.

as far as my experience goes, i don't need to prove anything to you. i used to ask women what time was good for them and always seek their approval. then i learned that they like to be led and told what to do. you can't walk on eggshells in this life. especially when it comes to dating very attractive women. be a man and just tell her what you two are doing. i don't mean in a mean way either. it's simple.

"hey i have some free time on friday, let's go out for a drink. is 8 or 9 better for you?"

there is nothing rude about that statement.

a few days ago i asked this girl out for our third date, and it went exactly like this:

me: "hey we are going to hang out friday night."
her: "ok cool."

it's all in the tone you use as well. i'm not being creepy when i say these things. i have a cool and relaxed tone.

 

[Giovanni Casanova]

Originally posted by Player_Supreme
It puts all the power back on your plate. Your statements that I showed you lacked power and direction and control over the situation. To me it looked like (even though I could be wrong), that you were the begger. And you don't need to beg Casanova.

You are wrong. No begging of any kind took place. Look again. I made light of the fact that she had to cancel last time (which I'm now convinced was legit), and I got her to give me a day and time when she was available (and it was the very next Friday night). She WOULD NOT HAVE DONE THIS unless she planned to say yes when I inevitably asked her out.

Would she have said yes no matter how I asked her? More than likely. But the point here is that she did say yes, and I'm sure she's not dwelling a whole lot over how I asked her. Certainly not so much so as people here are.

"Secrets of Power Persuasion By Roger Dawson...not written by a player, but the name says it all.
I also find philiosphy books are good for expanding your mind and making you think lateral instead of linear..

so learn how to expand your mind and create your own game."

I'm not real clear about what the point of this last little part was? Are you telling me to read more? Are you suggesting that I read philosophy books to expand my mind and make me think lateral instead of linear? If so, I should inform you that you're definitely talking to the wrong person.

 

[Genghis Juan]

Player Supreme,

I dont nearly have as much as experience as you, but I have been working on my skills for about a year with the help of the likes of you and others. This site (DJB and Boot Camp) and people like you have shown me the light. I am good with the techniques and the ideas, but I still need more experience in the field applying them.

Anyways, I agree with most of your response (had trouble inserting the quote). Confident Persistence is tricky and a fine line between knowing when you have a legitimate chance or whether you are just being strung along. I also think you also have to be like water with CP; you have to be strong (stand your ground), but also be flexible and adaptable.

I think one can pursue a woman who is unsure of you as long as positive signs are given (such as physical apsects in excess of a peck on the cheek, her buying you dinner on occasion or even a small gift, etc.), while knowing full well she may have her options open, so you'd better keep yours open.

What I say here is nothing profund to most here who are at least intermediate DJ's, however, if you are being strung along for dinners or emotional support with no physical aspect, then it would be clear that you are being strung along; in this case utilizing the CP would be futile and unhealthy; and you would be played like a violin.

Actually, another unhealthy sign would be a woman who is hot and cold, acting like a ding-dong or a flake. Some women just have a screw loose and one would just have to cut her loose and move on.

 

[Giovanni Casanova]

Originally posted by Player_Supreme
There is a girl who has very low interest level in YOU. You persue her and try to woe this woman.

She is not very interested because she has many choices on her plate. Even conservative women have suitors and can pick and choose.

You spend a load of money and time only to get a peck on the cheek, while she spends the next night at someother guy whom she is persuings house.

Which one would you like to be.

The chump chasing after her, or the other guy.

I think we've found the problem. You assume that using confident persistance is an AFC trait, which is only used hand-in-glove with other AFC traits. In reality, it isn't.

Spending lots of time and money chasing after some girl who is with another guy is AFC and stupid. But as far as I'm concerned, so is "next"ing a chick if she exhibits any sign of not absolutely worshipping you from the outset.

I'm a pretty confident guy -- I know I've got a lot of things going for me. My own place, great job, friends, personality, humor, whatever. But I can't always advertise that on a big billboard I carry around with me. Once a girl is exposed to the wonder that is Giovanni Casanova, I'll hook her more often than not. It's just getting her to that point.

So I could say, "I'm gonna ask her out, but if she can't go then she's nexted." And then she thinks nothing of it. But in reality, maybe she just hasn't been exposed to Casanova enough yet.

What I've found is, I'll ask a girl out, and maybe she'll go or maybe she won't. Whatever. And then something comes up -- she doesn't return a phone call, or she has to cancel a date, or whatever. Most guys here are ready to "next" her. And if that's your bag, then fine.

But what I did here, and have done successfully other times in the past, is just roll with it. I don't make a big deal about it. I don't get angry and I don't avoid her. I just dazzle her with Giovanni Casanova. And all of our interactions during this time period is seen in the context of me having asked her out.

Girls hate the idea of letting a good one get away. So when you ask them out the second time, if you do it right, it won't seem like begging. She'll feel LUCKY to get a second chance with you.

That's what confident persistance does.

 

[Player_Supreme]

Originally posted by Giovanni Casanova

I think we've found the problem. You assume that using confident persistance is an AFC trait, which is only used hand-in-glove with other AFC traits. In reality, it isn't.

[/B]

1. I'm sorry for the confusion. Chasing is chasing to me, whether your pretending or actually acting confident. I can see your point of view though. I can even picture a confident person with a ****y devil may care grin on his face persuing a girl. Yeah I feel you.

2. My only point was to offer you another technique to work with your confident attitude. Think of it as confident and in control persistance. When you add that layer of control or using certain techniques to boost your level of sureity then your game is that much stronger don't you agree.

Originally posted by Giovanni Casanova

Spending lots of time and money chasing after some girl who is with another guy is AFC and stupid. But as far as I'm concerned, so is "next"ing a chick if she exhibits any sign of not absolutely worshipping you from the outset.

[/B]

1. I agree here also. Except we are not talking about a girl worshipping you. Just showing signs of interest.

2. Here is a rule of thumb that will save you lots of time and effort: If she isn't choosing then move on. What that means is that if she isn't showing any signs of buying what your selling then it makes no sense to try to sell her in the first place.

3. Wouldn't you agree that even attornies have to sell there services. But if a person has no need of an attorny why would one waste his time trying to sell them, you see what I mean.

Originally posted by Giovanni Casanova

I'm a pretty confident guy -- I know I've got a lot of things going for me. My own place, great job, friends, personality, humor, whatever. But I can't always advertise that on a big billboard I carry around with me. Once a girl is exposed to the wonder that is Giovanni Casanova, I'll hook her more often than not. It's just getting her to that point.

So I could say, "I'm gonna ask her out, but if she can't go then she's nexted." And then she thinks nothing of it. But in reality, maybe she just hasn't been exposed to Casanova enough yet.


[/B]

1. I never said next her if she couldn't make it. I was merely offering a better way to insure your success, so that she can experience the wonder that is Casanova.

2. I like your confident attitude!!!

Originally posted by Giovanni Casanova


What I've found is, I'll ask a girl out, and maybe she'll go or maybe she won't. Whatever. And then something comes up -- she doesn't return a phone call, or she has to cancel a date, or whatever. Most guys here are ready to "next" her. And if that's your bag, then fine.

But what I did here, and have done successfully other times in the past, is just roll with it. I don't make a big deal about it. I don't get angry and I don't avoid her. I just dazzle her with Giovanni Casanova. And all of our interactions during this time period is seen in the context of me having asked her out.

Girls hate the idea of letting a good one get away. So when you ask them out the second time, if you do it right, it won't seem like begging. She'll feel LUCKY to get a second chance with you.

That's what confident persistance does.

[/B]

1. I cannot recall ever being in a situation of "What I've found is, I'll ask a girl out, and maybe she'll go or maybe she won't." But if that is ok with you then so be it. I like mine in plain black and white (no pun intended). Either she is choosing or not. Like a computer bit either it's on or off.

2. Women know within minutes of meeting you if whether or not they want to sleep with you. It doesn't take all that dating and cavorting around trying to impress her to get in there. Remember women always know if they are going to get laid.

3. I agree with you on your nexting policy in part. I do give a woman another chance if she has to cancel. I do not recall the last time this has happened to me, but I do realize that shyt happens...which isn't what we are talking about. I thought our discussion was on the advanced techniques I offered you.

4. "But what I did here, and have done successfully other times in the past, is just roll with it. "

Yeah I like this statement. You gotta treat it like it's no big deal and roll with it. If she can't hook up then call the next one in the rotation.

5. "So I could say, "I'm gonna ask her out, but if she can't go then she's nexted." And then she thinks nothing of it. But in reality, maybe she just hasn't been exposed to Casanova enough yet

As I said we are not talking about nexting a girl...merely a better way to insure your success. I think we got off to a wrong foot here. You keep thinking I'm talking about nexting when I wasn't.

And also like I said women know who they are going to give the pvssy too. I'm sure you have a dazzling personality that draws women in. Like you said you have a good job, friends. That would make you very very marketable.

In marketing the customer must have a need for what's being sold. If there isn't a strong need for the product "YOU" then market to customers (women) who need what you have and will be more appreciative of YOU solving their problem (lonelyness and finding someone nice to date).

I preffer to make getting women as easy as possible instead of a struggle. When you struggle you set yourself up for putting her as the prize and you below her.

Women are used to men chasing after them all day long whether they are confident with dazzling personalities or just plain dorks and geeks.

But to reverse the game and make them persue you, now that is the real challenge wouldn't you agree Casanova.

Oh sorry about mispelling Attorney and loneliness, I do type really fast sometimes and I don't spend enough time editing my words for perfect punctuation and grammar.

 

[Giovanni Casanova]

Originally posted by Genghis Juan
Anyways, I agree with most of your response (had trouble inserting the quote). Confident Persistence is tricky and a fine line between knowing when you have a legitimate chance or whether you are just being strung along. I also think you also have to be like water with CP; you have to be strong (stand your ground), but also be flexible and adaptable.

I think one can pursue a woman who is unsure of you as long as positive signs are given (such as physical apsects in excess of a peck on the cheek, her buying you dinner on occasion or even a small gift, etc.), while knowing full well she may have her options open, so you'd better keep yours open.

Well said, Genghis.

There is definitely a fine line here. You have to be able to judge when you can win and when you can't.

"You always told me that this was the rule -- rule No. 1 -- throw in your cards when you know you can't win. Fold the hand."
-- ROUNDERS

But on the other hand, if you're not willing to go after something, take a few chances and endure a little risk... how are you ever going to get what you want out of life?

"You can't lose what you don't put in the middle ... but you can't win much, either."
-- ROUNDERS

The way I think of it is like getting a job. Any idiot can get a job a Burger King sweeping the floor, all right? But say that you have a particular job in mind that you would like. What you do first is you make yourself a good candidate. If the job needs math skills, you get those skills. If it requires that you know a lot about computers or music, then you learn a lot about computers and music. Then you apply.

Then you go through the interview process. But it might take more than one interview to get the job. You don't "next" them just because they don't offer you the job on the spot. You fight for it. You show them that you're the right guy for the job. If you go through all of that and they say, "Sorry, you're not what we're looking for," then you get back out there and make yourself an even better candidate for the NEXT job.

If you only take the jobs that will hire you on the spot without even really evaluating you that much, what you're going to wind up with is a bunch of sh*tty jobs. To get the best, you have to work for it. If you didn't have to work for what you have now, you could have something even better if you worked for it.

 

[Player_Supreme]

Originally posted by Genghis Juan
Player Supreme,

I dont nearly have as much as experience as you, but I have been working on my skills for about a year with the help of the likes of you and others. This site (DJB and Boot Camp) and people like you have shown me the light. I am good with the techniques and the ideas, but I still need more experience in the field applying them.

Anyways, I agree with most of your response (had trouble inserting the quote). Confident Persistence is tricky and a fine line between knowing when you have a legitimate chance or whether you are just being strung along. I also think you also have to be like water with CP; you have to be strong (stand your ground), but also be flexible and adaptable.

I think one can pursue a woman who is unsure of you as long as positive signs are given (such as physical apsects in excess of a peck on the cheek, her buying you dinner on occasion or even a small gift, etc.), while knowing full well she may have her options open, so you'd better keep yours open.

What I say here is nothing profund to most here who are at least intermediate DJ's, however, if you are being strung along for dinners or emotional support with no physical aspect, then it would be clear that you are being strung along; in this case utilizing the CP would be futile and unhealthy; and you would be played like a violin.

Actually, another unhealthy sign would be a woman who is hot and cold, acting like a ding-dong or a flake. Some women just have a screw loose and one would just have to cut her loose and move on.

Well said G.

It is a fine line that only the person who is trying this style can determine.

Enough said.

 

[xblitz44x]

I think you played it just fine. I don't understand why this thread even sparked this type of discussion. You played it well. She told you she was busy, so you gave her the benefit of the doubt instead of getting all bent out of shape *assuming* that it's a rejection. Then you stayed with it, and made plans. That's great, I don't see what the big deal is.

The rest of these guys would have probably dropped her as soon as she didn't make a "counter offer". Or if not then, they would have tried *telling* her when she is going to go out, which of course would have backfired because she's busy as hell. And the one's that were left over would have changed the plans around unneccesarily to try to gain back some "power" from a game that they are only playing with themselves.

Good job. You played it well. I always give the benefit of the doubt. Like you said, you have nothing to lose by taking her word for it. And you know when to draw the line. And these guys who are criticizing you would have dropped out and been dateless because they would have taken her being busy for a rejection. Seems to reek of low self esteem to me.

 

[Jay Fiedler]

Most of you guys are WAY overanalyzing this. In the large scheme of things..what does it really matter?

Either she likes you enough to go out with you or she doesn't. If she does, then either one of you must like the other one enough to go on a second date. Its not rocket science. This thread reminds me of pap in a way. Making everything much harder and more complicated ...just to get laid..then it really is. Its just a girl. One of millions upon millions in the world. Much more improtant things in life to worry about than whether or not Gio should have pursued this girl or not.


I mean, its good for a post or two, but I really highly doubt that girls are out there writing post upon post on **** like this.

Let go of your pain. Relax, have fun, dont read to much into anything. You'll drive yourself crazy by doing so, and by the time you actually to get to date this girl you'll be so hung up on all this mess you'll be a nervous wreck. You'll be fine that way you are. Good luck.

 

[Giovanni Casanova]

Hey, Jay... I'm not stressing in the least. I'm not even really analyzing this situation in particular -- it's sewn up as far as I'm concerned. Whatever is going to happen is going to happen.

You know how I know? It's that conversation. Let me show everyone how that conversation would have gone if she wasn't interested.

GIOVANNI: Hey, Nicole. It's Gio from class.
NICOLE: Oh. Hi.
GIOVANNI: Hey, are you still booked up until the end of eternity?
NICOLE: Yeah, I really am. I've got a lot of things going on.
GIOVANNI: I see. Well, I'd like to take you out...
NICOLE: Actually, Gio, I really don't have any time to do anything right now... blah blah blah.

In that case, I probably would just walk away from the whole thing.

In my mind, the question of HOW I asked is subordinate to the point that she said yes. If I get the results I want, I don't spend a whole lot of time worrying about whether I should have done it the way I did. I got what I wanted.

 

[Knicknack]

Originally posted by xblitz44x
And these guys who are criticizing you would have dropped out and been dateless because they would have taken her being busy for a rejection. Seems to reek of low self esteem to me.

i use my approach because i'm not scared of losing some girl because she is flaky and doesn't play by my rules. my relationships all start, progress, and end the same; with me running the show 100% of the time. some of you guys wonder why your hearts get broken and come here with questions about women when the answers are staring you in the face. just be a man.

let's say i use Gio's method of asking and begging a woman to hang out with me. she'll probably want me to pick her up because she is tired of driving. she'll probably not be happy with the place i choose to eat because she doesn't like it. she'll want to choose the music in the car because she knows i'm a pushover guy and she doesn't care what I want to listen to. she'll probably want me to pay. it just goes on and on. if you set the stage early on, by NEVER asking for her approval, she will respect you MORE. it's a paradox that many men fail to realize.

if i tell a girl to meet me somewhere or come over on a certain day, and she doesn't want to or she makes an excuse, i simply pull back. most of the time i'll just say, "ok cool. call me next week when you have some time. bye." they usually don't call back because they aren't interested. i don't say, "oh friday is not good for you. how about saturday? does that work for you? will you please go out with me?" that is wuss talk.

it's amazing how great a relationship can be when you call ALL the shots. the girl will be HAPPY and excited to hang out with you and schedule her plans around what YOU want to do. i feel like i'm just talking to a wall sometimes with a few members on this site though. i guess some people will never realize what they are missing when they act like a wuss.

 

[Giovanni Casanova]

Knicknack, at first when you responded on this post, I thought that maybe you were just honestly a little confused about what had happened in my situation because you weren't there. I can dig that.

But now it's clear to me that you just want something different from what most guys here want. You want a slave. You want a girl that you can dominate, a girl whose strings you can pull. A girl who will read from the script that you write. To me, that's BORING AS HELL.

I don't put up with sh*t. But if I wanted a girl who would just submit to my will, do and say and be exactly what I told her to be, I'd just learn ventriloquism and get a Real Doll™. It would be cheaper and easier.

No, the girls who really get to me... they know how to think for themselves. They are their own, separate, independent people. They don't control me, I don't control them.

I ask them out and they either go out or they don't. There is no "begging" or "being a wuss" -- you're just being an idiot when you say sh*t like that.

But the girls I like -- the ones who are sharp, smart, and witty enough to keep me interested -- do not just sit around waiting for some man to come take charge and pound his chest and be a caveman. These girls, it's the funniest thing... you ask them out, they say yes, you go out and talk about interesting things, make them laugh, they want more, you go out again, rinse and repeat.

"Control" doesn't even come into the picture, and when you start thinking about it that way things are bound to get f*cked over anyway.

 

[Slickster]

Originally posted by Giovanni Casanova
"Hey, it's Gio, from class."

"Hey! How are you?"

"Good," I said. "Are you still booked up until the end of eternity?"

She laughed and said, "Well, like when are you talking about?"

I said, "I don't know, I was thinking roughly... May."

She said, "May is tomorrow."

"Yes, well, I understand that it goes on for a couple of weeks."

"Well, what day are you talking about?"

I really liked this bit.

Anyways I don't see what the big deal is and why everyone is making this thread a big issue.

The most important part is that she sounded excited to hear from you on the phone. Her IL is most definately high or else she would have been indifferent. It's entirely possible that she may be an extremely busy person without a lot of time for dating.

Following all the "rules" to a tee all the time won't get you very far. Just like in a poker game you have to adapt to the style of play at that particular table.

I'm sure you are well aware of not letting yourself get played for a sucker so no worries.

You got the date and that's what matters. Now you have a real opportunity to raise her IL.


Good work Gio. Keep us posted.

 

[xblitz44x]

"i use my approach because i'm not scared of losing some girl because she is flaky and doesn't play by my rules. my relationships all start, progress, and end the same; with me running the show 100% of the time."

Play by your rules? The only person playing by your rules is you. If she happens to go along with your proposed plans, it just means that she likes you enough to deal with your commanding ways, and her schedule permits it. It doesn't mean that she's so 'overwhelmed and moist by your dominance'. She's just dealing with it. A girl with a shred of confidence and self-dignity isn't going to deal with that for a long time.

And you're talking about *us* worrying about getting our hearts broken? You are the one who is spouting off commands and making sure she is "playing by your rules" and if she shows a hint of wanting a say in what's going on, you assume she's "flakey and has low IL" and drop her immediately. Now that sounds like insecurity to me.

The guy who "isn't scared of losing a girl" is the same guy interprets a perfectly normal statement as a flake and dumps her before she has the chance to 'reject him'. Hmmmm

"it's amazing how great a relationship can be when you call ALL the shots. the girl will be HAPPY and excited to hang out with you and schedule her plans around what YOU want to do. i feel like i'm just talking to a wall sometimes with a few members on this site though. i guess some people will never realize what they are missing when they act like a wuss."

Nobody is acting like a wuss in this thread. Nothing Gio did was weak. He didn't beg. He found out she was busy and asked her what day she wasn't busy, and got a date out of it. While you would have dropped her as soon as she said "well..."

It really sounds like you're worried about getting hurt...and if a woman doesn't follow YOUR own internal agenda and expectations (that she has no idea about), you drop her immediately because any fluctuation to the behavior that YOU expect of her *could* mean that she doesn't like you. God forbid.

 

[rjherche]

You really had nothing to lose by trying once more, and it sounds like you played it cool during that intervening period while she was busy. Remember though that women with high interest above all are consistant. Cancelling that first date automatically puts some odds against you.

You'd best take a wait-and-see approach. She may think this is some kind of "just friends" thing. She may not know how to say no to you. Girls have a way of faking interest, or being completely ditzy and not realizing they're being asked out. When you take her out, watch for the signs. Look for compliments, lots of questions and suggestions of you two hanging out in the future.

The most important things though are touching and a nice kiss. Alot of times I've thought a girl was feelin me and then she gives me the cheek, or just gives me a little peck and backs off. If she fails the smooch test, drop her.

Keep your wits about you, because this girl's too new to rate.

 

[coldcoal]

I once posted a FR that desribed a process that was not usual for me, one that happened to work out well. Never asked a question. Didn't need advice. It was just an event I wanted to share, maybe plant a new idea. It was already tested and fed back on, and STILL I was told I did this or that improper. I should have done something else instead.

I was licking her tonsels before I even got her number...

 

[Cesare Cardinali]

Low Interest Level

The girl's interest level was low. Had it not been low, she would not have been buisy for the date. Whether she was truly buisy or just didn't feel like it, a girl with high romantic interest would move hell or high water to make the date or offer a solid counter offer. This girl did neither. This is not a question of blindly following rules; it's simply common sense. As Jake Steed would say: "what would she do if you were Brad Pitt?" Would she be too buisy for Brad Pitt?

Now with that said, the fact that a girl would have a high level of romantic interest from the getgo is not necessarily a good thing. Unless you've displayed a tremendous amount of *value* why would a chick have high IL right off the bat? Chances are she'd be some AFC chick, very clingy, very anoying, very draining, and very fickle.

These guys blasting Gio for going after this chick when she does not have high IL are missing the point. The point is to develop the skill set to succeed with high quality chicks. And in general, only lame a$$ chicks will have high IL for no reason. We all know chicks that fall totally in love with guys at the drop of a hat, and we know guys like that too. They're AFC, they don't respect themselves and no one respects them. Therefore, the worst thing for a guy like Gio just out of a break up, or for any of us, would be to have the chicks capitulate and ooze high IL right off the bat. They'll just latch on and drain you.

However, a girl putting up some resistance, some challenge is a good thing. Work with that, use that, and then win her over. If you fail going after a chick like this, then your skill set will still have improved. And if you succeed, then at least you've succeeded with a chick that doesn't fall for any guy simply because he's asked her for her number.

I think you played it well.

-Cesare Cardinali