"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Condom Q

search1ng

Master Don Juan
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I'm Going away for a few days, meeting up with a female friend i haven't seen in awhile. Anyway, where do you guys carry Condoms on your person? I've heard wallet is bad, i don't think the Hotel or w/e will have them stocked and I'm not taking my car.

Some insight would be much appreciated, thanks.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Lion

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LOL use you imagination man, if you are going away aren't you taking a bag? Put it in your sock, between your cheeks.... maybe swallow it?!!!!
 

search1ng

Master Don Juan
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oh yeah... LOL, moment of brain death. Too used to leaving it at the house/car.
 
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search1ng

Master Don Juan
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Good idea! My rectum. I forgot about that!

Oh yeah! while i'm at it you can come over and help widen my ass-hole with this pink rubber dildo. Then we can all sing '99 red balloons' and have a gay circle jerk into a cup and the first one to shoot will have to drink it all!
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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speakeasy

Master Don Juan
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I put mine in my wallet despite warnings. Before I bust, I always take one last look down there to make sure it's still on and that it's not ripped. It's always a good idea to take one last look no matter what just to be on the safe side.
 

amoka

Master Don Juan
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It is only bad to put it in your wallet if you put your wallet in your back pocket.
 

speakeasy

Master Don Juan
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Well, if you're getting enough ass, they shouldn't be sitting in your wallet for very long. :)
 
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