Coming across to needy.

[Rainman4707]

You have chatted a little via text with the girl. You have tried to arrange meetup, but you are both off different days.

Here is the last message i send a girl :-

Really busy next week. Am free on Thursday.
Might be a good idea to exchange digits or some way of contacting you so I can let you know if am free before that x

I have tried meeting up with women like this before, i think i'm going to stop doing it because i will be coming across needy.

Her reply was - Ive only got monday and tuesday off sorry. Ok my number is *********** x

 

[marmel75]

I always asked for when they were free and then picked a day. You put yourself in a bad spot if she can't meet up on the day you suggest. Guys make this too difficult on themselves. It should be easy.

 

[EyeBRollin]

You're making this too complicated. You pick the day and time and see what she comes back with.

Her reply was - Ive only got monday and tuesday off sorry. Ok my number is *********** x

Her reply gave all the information you need. Make the date for Monday or Tuesday.

 

[Tilex]

I don't think there's enough interaction to come across as needy yet. You've only talked online and haven't met in person yet, right?
She gave you the days, so all you have to do is make the plan.

 

[Rainman4707]

I always asked for when they were free and then picked a day. You put yourself in a bad spot if she can't meet up on the day you suggest. Guys make this too difficult on themselves. It should be easy.

yeah, what i was saying though is, i've been making more effort to set up the date recently than women.
For example, working shifts...sometimes you're not sure when you'll wake up, so i might end up with a few spare hours that i could hit her up.

 

[Rainman4707]

You're making this too complicated. You pick the day and time and see what she comes back with.



Her reply gave all the information you need. Make the date for Monday or Tuesday.

I'm working two 12 hour nights monday & tuesday night. Slight possibility i might be able to spare a few hours tuesday, but i think i'm coming across to needy by suggesting that.

 

[Rainman4707]

I don't think there's enough interaction to come across as needy yet. You've only talked online and haven't met in person yet, right?
She gave you the days, so all you have to do is make the plan.

I am working twelve hour nights monday & tuesday. I did suggest thursday. The point of the thread is i think i'm coming across to needy trying to squeeze her into a few spare hours that i might have tuesday afternoon

 

[jaymbrs]

You're coming across as needy because you don't have the time to date. Ergo you need them to accommodate you. Either way a female won't put up with your lack of availability. Especially chicks you're meeting online. They'll just quickly move on to the next guy.

 

[BeExcellent]

I am working twelve hour nights monday & tuesday. I did suggest thursday. The point of the thread is i think i'm coming across to needy trying to squeeze her into a few spare hours that i might have tuesday afternoon

Advice from the old lady:

You are Ok to this point. She gave you 2 days off...you set a short meet up on one of those days. You set it up that you are busy but can grab a coffee before you head to work.

Advantages from a chick's viewpoint are that this is a non threatening way to meet in person in public and there is a built in time limit.

Those are good things because this way things are light, no pressure & low investment (for you AND her.)

It is also a measure of whether or not she fancies you. If she dodges a short, non-threatening meet up like a pre-work coffee? She ain't feel in' it. If she meets you she's showing willingness to make the effort to meet you.

If she gives you any response other than "Yes" or a solid counter at a better time? Then she's not interested.

Worry less about coming across too needy and more about setting up the interaction to suit your aims. You make it simple for her to comply and then you watch her actions to see IF she complies. There is nothing needy about that. Remember that your time is valuable for one, and that as strangers you have to accommodate the other person's life & obligations to a point, for two.

 

[Rainman4707]

Advice from the old lady:

You are Ok to this point. She gave you 2 days off...you set a short meet up on one of those days. You set it up that you are busy but can grab a coffee before you head to work.

Advantages from a chick's viewpoint are that this is a non threatening way to meet in person in public and there is a built in time limit.

Those are good things because this way things are light, no pressure & low investment (for you AND her.)

It is also a measure of whether or not she fancies you. If she dodges a short, non-threatening meet up like a pre-work coffee? She ain't feel in' it. If she meets you she's showing willingness to make the effort to meet you.

If she gives you any response other than "Yes" or a solid counter at a better time? Then she's not interested.

Worry less about coming across too needy and more about setting up the interaction to suit your aims. You make it simple for her to comply and then you watch her actions to see IF she complies. There is nothing needy about that. Remember that your time is valuable for one, and that as strangers you have to accommodate the other person's life & obligations to a point, for two.

I finish at 8am, then start at 7pm. I will be setting my alarm to get out of bed at 16:10pm. The only chance i have to meet her tuesday is if i wake up a few hours before my alarm goes off haha....so cannot confirm anything =)
The only way i'd be able to set something up would of been texting her today telling her i might have a few spare hours tomorrow (tuesday)

Like i say...i dont think thats a good idea. I think, I'm trying to hard to make it happen.

 

[EyeBRollin]

You aren't trying hard enough my friend.

She told you what days she is available. Now, you must close. Make the date or move on. Stop with the excuses.

 

[Chi Town]

Your making this way too complicated

 

[Rainman4707]

I acknowledge that i should of either made a date on tuesday or not make the date, one or the other i get it...instead of trying to squeeze her in.

At least i am making the effort though. I've just found out that she finishes work at 3pm tomorrow.

These women probably do have time to fit me in but they dont make the effort in the beginning. So f8ck it, i wont make the effort anymore too.

 

[EyeBRollin]

I acknowledge that i should of either made a date on tuesday or not make the date, one or the other i get it...instead of trying to squeeze her in.

At least i am making the effort though. I've just found out that she finishes work at 3pm tomorrow.

These women probably do have time to fit me in but they dont make the effort in the beginning. So f8ck it, i wont make the effort anymore too.

No. You're rationalizing. Amazing how you can continue to come up with paragraphs about why you couldn't make a date on Tuesday with a woman that told you she is free to go out with you on Tuesday. This is your fault, dude.

 

[Rainman4707]

No. You're rationalizing. Amazing how you can continue to come up with paragraphs about why you couldn't make a date on Tuesday with a woman that told you she is free to go out with you on Tuesday. This is your fault, dude.

Because i worked a fifteen hour shift on monday & a twelve hour shift on tuesday.