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cold approaching waste of time

forcerecon01

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I have to hand it to you guys that do the cold approach. Rejections got to hurt the ego.After a while you simply dont give a sh*t and success comes after learning what went wrong.
 

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Serenity

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Not a waste of time if it's genuinely enjoyable, but that only happens if there's true outcome independence. A guy going out to cold approach most likely won't find it enjoyable and because their entire intent is to find a sexual/romantic partner it's also highly dependent on outcome.

I don't ever expect to get anything out of it besides the brief entertainment in the moment, so yeah, I enjoy it and leave when I stop enjoying it. Sometimes it's fun for a little bit, other times the moment doesn't stop giving.

Most guys don't enjoy it to begin with and enjoy it even less when their expectations aren't met. Curiosity keeps it entertaining regardless of what happens. Most seduction communities tries to maximize efficiency like they're competitively playing a video game, but it really does take the fun out of it all and I can't say it seems to be any more effective anyways.

Can't enjoy it? Don't do it. Want to enjoy it? Say "fvck it", go in and say whatever you'd personally find amusing. Cold approach isn't right or wrong, but the frame of mind about it definitely can be.
 

Chronocidal

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Get to a place where women cold approach you. The last woman I dated, had her friend come over to me in a bar and ask me if I was single and if I would be interested in meeting her friend who was “watching” me all night.
What such places exist? I've yet to encounter any such venues.
 
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sceneparade

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I say go after what you want, if you see it. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. What I meant earlier was don't be out doing approaches with no other purpose. Like your chit chat with the girl at the supermarket that was part of your daily routine.
Yeah, I kind of blew that one. She is ice cold now. Ignorant of me. But I am learning. But I see your point.

Do you mean don't go out approaching for the purpose of approaching and meeting women?

Any tips on approaching? From my experience, ironically, when I haven't been chasing women, just acting indifferent, going about my day, it is then that women show me interest. However, if I show interest first, they aren't interested. What gives?

I have finished reading The book of book and about to read Neil Strauss' The Game.
 

cheyne

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After a while you simply dont give a sh*t and success comes after learning what went wrong.
Well that's the problem; People think there must be something they could have said or done differently to get the girl who rejected him When in fact, it was over the second he approached. Some girls just aren't gonna be into you
 

Atom Smasher

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Over the years I’ve learned the the “cold approach” is largely an exercise in futility unless you just happen to get lucky.

Instead of the cold approach, I came up with the idea of the “warm approach”. The way to pull this off is to learn to recognize IOIs from women. Men are notoriously bad at this. When you start to recognize IOIs (what I call “invitations”) from women, 80% of the work is already done.

I’ve said it before... I believe that most men get IOIs from women, but those invitations go completely over their heads. They wrongly think that no woman finds them attractive. Women think they are being extremely obvious when sending out approach invitations, when in fact they are often being overly subtle. They wrongly think that we men process hints the same way that they do.

The way I see it, why try to manufacture attraction by invading strange women’s space, when you can just approach the ones who are warmed up to you?

The other problem I see with cold approaches is that you are approaching as a beggar. You have already broadcasted that you are all-in with her, that you are assigning unmerited value to her. In this situation you offer yourself, and will abide by her decision to accept or reject you. She has done absolutely nothing to earn your favor, yet you put yourself in that Inferior position.

Life will serve up plenty of warm dishes if you learn to present yourself well and learn to recognize women’s invitations.
 

Rainman4707

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Yeah, I kind of blew that one. She is ice cold now. Ignorant of me. But I am learning. But I see your point.

Do you mean don't go out approaching for the purpose of approaching and meeting women?

Any tips on approaching? From my experience, ironically, when I haven't been chasing women, just acting indifferent, going about my day, it is then that women show me interest. However, if I show interest first, they aren't interested. What gives?

I have finished reading The book of book and about to read Neil Strauss' The Game.
The game is a great book. Reading it makes you want to get out there & have some fun interacting with women.
 

cheyne

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Over the years I’ve learned the the “cold approach” is largely an exercise in futility unless you just happen to get lucky.

Instead of the cold approach, I came up with the idea of the “warm approach”.
Of course. I think most understand nowadays that you can't 'convert' a girl in a cold approach who isn't remotely into you.
The girls you pull from cold approach are the ones who are already into you (and likely gave you an approach invitation)
That's why even the 'pros' get rejected a tonne (because they approach girls who aren't into them and none of their 'game' is effective in changing her mind)

It's really only the autists at places like 'skilledseducer' who still try to market the idea that you can bang any girl you want if you know their brand of game (girlschase) nowadays. The rest of the community (such as this site) has moved on to reality lol
 

samspade

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Do you mean don't go out approaching for the purpose of approaching and meeting women?

Any tips on approaching? From my experience, ironically, when I haven't been chasing women, just acting indifferent, going about my day, it is then that women show me interest. However, if I show interest first, they aren't interested. What gives?
Yes, that's what I mean. Go about your day, be social, meet people, have value, give value, have fun. Your interactions will be more organic and you'll have an easier time meeting women. They will sense this about you and send you IOIs as @Atom Smasher said above.

Going out just to do approaches gives you a phony basis for social interaction. Your frame will be off. Some guys can pull it off but to me it just becomes a chore, and I have enough chores to do day to day. You even said it yourself above...go with what works.
 

sceneparade

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Over the years I’ve learned the the “cold approach” is largely an exercise in futility unless you just happen to get lucky.

Instead of the cold approach, I came up with the idea of the “warm approach”. The way to pull this off is to learn to recognize IOIs from women. Men are notoriously bad at this. When you start to recognize IOIs (what I call “invitations”) from women, 80% of the work is already done.
What are the IOIs most obvious?
 

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GoodOne123

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A few cold approaches a week is ok, as long as it's in your day to day life.

It's a problem when you're going to the club every week for the main purpose of cold approaching. I used to do that when I partied a lot. I wasted so much money and time doing that lol
 

FlexpertHamilton

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Women are everywhere...
Yes, which is why your ability to cold approach should be honed to some degree. I do agree going out for the sole purpose of cold approach is a waste of time, but cold approach as an "incidental" thing still requires certain skills.
 

Spaz

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And all of those pro cold approaching members here ARE still cold approaching AFTER multiple number of years BECAUSE they've not successful at it.

And then they come here to brag about the number of cold approaches they did, like its an accomplishment of sorts.

I'd be surprised if any women sticks to any one of these men, if she did, she must be real dumb.
 

Rainman4707

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I'm watching a MIT lecture on psychology. The professer is giving examples on influences on behaviour. The final example was about dating. He discussed evoloutionary psychology, how a lot of people beleive in it. He asked the students which sex is more selective. He told them the general belief is that women are more selective due to evoloutioary psychology. Women have to carry the child for 9 months, while it only takes 9 seconds for the male part.
He discussed speed dating/online dating. Highlighted an experiment where it showed that typically in speed dating the males jump from seat to seat to have a 4 minute chat with a each lady. The experiment showed that males happiness levels were quite a bit higher than females.
They then told the ladys to do something which they never do, they had to move from seat to seat, whilst the males remain seated. When the ladies done this, the levels were then even.
The experiment showed that it's actually the effort of having to move & approach someone that makes you feel more energised & positive about the experience.
 
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