"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
Cold Approaches don't work.
- Thread starter Glycerine2
- Start date
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
tigre
Don Juan
pimpfromdayone
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Jul 13, 2005
- Messages
- 674
- Reaction score
- 1
- Age
- 40
1.) the girl must be completely new to you, no friends knowing her, or knowing you, nothing.
2.) it can't be in a place where you might "accidentally" run into her, or that is meant for approaching, like a party or club.... come on, those are the easiest placest on earth to pick them up, with the easiest women too. You can't have already been sitting next to her like in a class or something either. Usually it is in an everyday setting where an approach is less common.
If you break either of these two "rules," it is not a cold approach, it is merely talking to someone you already had easy access to.
The college campus, the mall, a store, at sporting events, and well, I suppose a club too if you approached a girl there, would all qualify as cold approaches.
And as to the point about cold approaches having less success rate, that is absolutely true, mainly because most guys can't do it well, and then because some women are less receptive to them. If you do it right and build rapport so she doesn't think you're a weirdo, tease her so she doesn't think you're some niceguy AFC like everyone else, and then have the confidence to get the #, you should be fine, but like anything in the world of women, there is a fine balance.
And oh yeah, most people never really try to make new friends, they just build off people they already knew or meet new people with similar interests that they see quite often (like in sports or something). The social skills of the average person are overrated, esp. by this board, and leave MUCH to be desired. Stop acting like *most* guys in this world know what the hel-l they're doing or have balls of steel... they don't. Most guys DON'T meet girls doing cold approaches. Most guys meet women through their social circle somehow, through social settings, like parties/clubs, or meet women they have EASY access to in classes, sports, or some other interest they have in common.
Marlimus
Senior Don Juan
Cold approaches work. I know because they work for me. I prefer to meet girls this way, because its a rush. There's no safety net.
You can chat with a girl for less than 3 minutes, but if you have GAME she will give you her phone number, or even ask for yours.
My advice, Glycerine2, is that you don't say something doesn't work simply because it doesn't work for you.
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
diplomatic_lies
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Aug 4, 2002
- Messages
- 4,366
- Reaction score
- 8
As for the success rate...cold approaches, on average, will get you more numbers/dates than waiting 3 months for a "special event where you can make warm approaches".
Glycerine - If you still don't believe me, send me a plane ticket to your city and a "How to speak American" handbook and I'll prove otherwise
everywomanshero
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- May 2, 2005
- Messages
- 1,814
- Reaction score
- 36
I'd never talked to anyone there before other than my wingman. I found out about the parties from dudes online who I'd never met. The bars, again, mostly froma dvice I got offline before I knew I'd be in a strange city. Trust me, those can all be cold approaches. See my field report I'm typing now.