Cold approach rejection!

stallionstud2

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Just wanted to post about my weekend rejection. Was at the bar by the pool table, noticed a girl bored at a group table looking past the short entertainer guy at the table telling some charismatic story. She was staring right at me through his spot at the table.

Some time later I needed a partner to play. I walk up to her ask her if she'd like to join me and play a game of pool. "I'm good" she replies. I say alright and walk away. For the next two minutes the table laughs about it like 8' away from me. I was pretty pissed about that.

Feel good for trying but that was ridiculous, I never see anyone fail like me. To the point of public mocking.
 

RazorRambo24

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I don't think it was as big of a deal as you made it in your mind. I think that just comes from inexperience. Keep trying keep going out and .. just because you asked one girl out, doesn't mean you could have asked another. Think about it more like they were having a good time with their friends rather than laughing at you.. If your self esteem is low, yeah they probably were laughing at your failure.. but to be fair, you tried to come up to one of their friends and engage her and she wasnt interested. thats pretty funny in and of itself.

Theres a difference in approaching women and knowing they are going to say yes, and then trying just to try. When you're full of confidence, you expect women to say yes.. and the way you approach and the things you do just comes off as more interesting, creative, and full of confidence. When you stopped at her, instead of asking if anyone else wanted to play --thts what made it seem like you failed and made them laugh, not the fact that you asked, that part wasn't funny.

I think we all have had experiences like this before though so don't feel bad.
 

AmsterdamAssassin

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For the next two minutes the table laughs about it like 8' away from me. I was pretty pissed about that.
Don't assume they're laughing at you. Getting pissed about perceived slights is bad for you. And if you care about game, you need to keep a positive mindset, even when you're rejected. It's rarely personal (they don't really know you) and you're probably not their type.
 

dude99

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Just wanted to post about my weekend rejection. Was at the bar by the pool table, noticed a girl bored at a group table looking past the short entertainer guy at the table telling some charismatic story. She was staring right at me through his spot at the table.

Some time later I needed a partner to play. I walk up to her ask her if she'd like to join me and play a game of pool. "I'm good" she replies. I say alright and walk away. For the next two minutes the table laughs about it like 8' away from me. I was pretty pissed about that.

Feel good for trying but that was ridiculous, I never see anyone fail like me. To the point of public mocking.
You asked her to play pool. She said she was good. You yourself wasn't even whaf she rejected because you didn't ask her out or ask her for her number. She rejected playing pool with you. They most likely were laughing at something else.

If they were laughing at you over something so small then she is a special kind of arrogant and you did the right thing.

"Alright." And walked away.
 

Bingo-Player

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Theres a difference in approaching women and knowing they are going to say yes, and then trying just to try. When you're full of confidence, you expect women to say yes.. and the way you approach and the things you do just comes off as more interesting, creative, and full of confidence. When you stopped at her, instead of asking if anyone else wanted to play --thts what made it seem like you failed and made them laugh, not the fact that you asked, that part wasn't funny.

I think we all have had experiences like this before though so don't feel bad.

100%

Women hardly ever have to do any approaching so its easy for them to just take it for granted and say stuff like oh " its easy if I was a dude I'd approach me"

Like women have absolutely no idea the level of self belief and control it takes a man too have to be able too confidently approach an attractive stranger , control the frame , make her comfortable and interested at the same time

its a really tricky thing to do and every man knows it thats why any guy worth his salt will give you a pat on the back for doing it

women should absolutely be more forgiving and some are but this one was a bad egg and showed no mercy

Its not the end of the world , cold approach is all about churn

You approach 100 chicks at least a handful will be down for something 1 or 2 could very well get obsessed with you

You have 99. to go !
 

Jor-El

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100%

Women hardly ever have to do any approaching so its easy for them to just take it for granted and say stuff like oh " its easy if I was a dude I'd approach me"

Like women have absolutely no idea the level of self belief and control it takes a man too have to be able too confidently approach an attractive stranger , control the frame , make her comfortable and interested at the same time

its a really tricky thing to do and every man knows it thats why any guy worth his salt will give you a pat on the back for doing it

women should absolutely be more forgiving and some are but this one was a bad egg and showed no mercy

Its not the end of the world , cold approach is all about churn

You approach 100 chicks at least a handful will be down for something 1 or 2 could very well get obsessed with you

You have 99. to go !
Great post. bang on the money sir
 

Bigpapa

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You asked her to play in front of all friends, she refused, you accepted the rejection and moved on.
That is a successful approach.
I do think that he jumped the gun a bit, as he asked a big thing from her ( leave her friends for a guy who she did not even interacted with before )

You usually try to separate her from her friends after some time you actually talk with her

Too much compliance asked from the get go
 

CAPSLOCK BANDIT

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If she's staring at you, go talk to another woman, it's not like your gonna interrupt their conversation to ask for her attention, there's nothing that you can do but demonstrate value at that point.

Also, authenticity is important, you made it clear when you walked away your intention was just to play with her, not play. Maybe she was staring at you like, "Come show this fool how to play pool" as opposed to "Come talk to me" or even worse "Come SAVE me" which is the way you framed her stare.

Women want to initially share in our presence, she probably wanted to watch you play. "Come compete for my attention" is likely the vibe she was giving off, maybe approach the dude instead of her, test his authenticity instead of putting your lack of authenticity on display, comes off as needy; Alexander Grace says "Women like men who don't need anything from them" and you foolishly sought something from her upon your very first interaction which should only be warranted upon a massive choosing signal, I wouldn't consider staring even a regular signal until its happened a couple different times.
 

mikedee

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I do think that he jumped the gun a bit, as he asked a big thing from her ( leave her friends for a guy who she did not even interacted with before )

You usually try to separate her from her friends after some time you actually talk with her

Too much compliance asked from the get go
It was not a perfect approach, but it was a successful approach because he actually approached.
 

SW15

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Just wanted to post about my weekend rejection. Was at the bar by the pool table, noticed a girl bored at a group table looking past the short entertainer guy at the table telling some charismatic story. She was staring right at me through his spot at the table.

Some time later I needed a partner to play. I walk up to her ask her if she'd like to join me and play a game of pool. "I'm good" she replies. I say alright and walk away. For the next two minutes the table laughs about it like 8' away from me. I was pretty pissed about that.

Feel good for trying but that was ridiculous, I never see anyone fail like me. To the point of public mocking.
She rejected your offer to play a game of a billiards. That's not a rejection of a date offer or a rejection to give a phone number. That's an interaction so minor that it barely qualifies as an approach. The majority of my approaches fizzle out before I even offer to arrange a date.

I don't think it was as big of a deal as you made it in your mind.
I agree.

I think that just comes from inexperience.
It's difficult to imagine a 38 year old man being inexperienced.
 

The Duke

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Op, You did what many others watching wanted to but didnt. You will lose more than you will ever win. No matter how good or what game you are playing.


On to the next. Never take it personal.
 

Mentor

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You did a great job approaching her.
You can also adopt this style by reframing the invite and turning it into a statement.
Example
Hi. What's your name....
Her: Sitting Girl
You: Hi Sitting Girl, I'm on my way to play pool, you could join. (Don't wait for an answer. Just walk towards the pool table).
This way whether she joins you or not you still in control of the situation.

You can apply this to all your invitations to girls.
Another example.
"I'm going to the beach to have fun this Saturday. You could join or You should join or You should come along"

Doing this implies it's something you're going to do whether she joins or not and you don't actually need her to be part of it.
It puts the you in control of the situation
 

CountSuavula

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Just wanted to post about my weekend rejection. Was at the bar by the pool table, noticed a girl bored at a group table looking past the short entertainer guy at the table telling some charismatic story. She was staring right at me through his spot at the table.

Some time later I needed a partner to play. I walk up to her ask her if she'd like to join me and play a game of pool. "I'm good" she replies. I say alright and walk away. For the next two minutes the table laughs about it like 8' away from me. I was pretty pissed about that.

Feel good for trying but that was ridiculous, I never see anyone fail like me. To the point of public mocking.
Well it is good you tried and gained some experience.

The truth is you probably did not look very cool or confident, or you were too young looking, Other people thought you were way below her level, but also, it was probably just a bunch of negative people in bar like situations where negative people thrive. And if you were older and suaver the chances of anyone mocking you publicly go down more.

it could have been a micro expression that gave you away as a novice.

Just keep at it and you will make your way fine eventually,
 

BackInTheGame78

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You cannot succeed without many failures first. Keep doing it and keep learning and adjusting your approaches based on outcomes and what happens during them.
 

nismo-4

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You asked her to play in front of all friends, she refused, you accepted the rejection and moved on.
That is a successful approach.
A job interview is not aced unless you were hired.

A first date didn't go well unless she stays in contact and shows up for a second one with genuine desire.

A business deal isn't valid unless money is made at closing.

A million dollar idea isn't a million dollar idea unless it made a million dollars.

An approach isn't successful unless a date or sex was a result from it.

Trying is good, but getting is better. Glad you approached, but level up. Failed approached are relative to what a woman's looking for and your SMV at the time you approach. Approaching in public places and failing is poisoning the well.

What could be a better option than cold approach when you're not Drake, Lebron James, or Elon Musk? Easy, warm approach! But you still have to close the deal.

Dating and job interviews are extremely similar.

Case closed.
 

mikedee

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A job interview is not aced unless you were hired.

A first date didn't go well unless she stays in contact and shows up for a second one with genuine desire.

A business deal isn't valid unless money is made at closing.

A million dollar idea isn't a million dollar idea unless it made a million dollars.

An approach isn't successful unless a date or sex was a result from it.

Trying is good, but getting is better. Glad you approached, but level up. Failed approached are relative to what a woman's looking for and your SMV at the time you approach. Approaching in public places and failing is poisoning the well.

What could be a better option than cold approach when you're not Drake, Lebron James, or Elon Musk? Easy, warm approach! But you still have to close the deal.

Dating and job interviews are extremely similar.

Case closed.
Not that similar, no. Same thing with sales and dating.
Dating is dating.
 
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