Cold Approach Paradox

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PUAs make two very contradictory claims

1) Cold approach is the best way to meet women.
2) Women are attracted to men who are non-needy, non-desparate and have lots of options

Both of these statements cannot be true. Can you think of a better way to project desperation and lack of options than approaching a complete stranger on the street? I can't.
 

Julian

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PUAs make two very contradictory claims

1) Cold approach is the best way to meet women.
2) Women are attracted to men who are non-needy, non-desparate and have lots of options

Both of these statements cannot be true. Can you think of a better way to project desperation and lack of options than approaching a complete stranger on the street? I can't.
thats because you are exhibiting beta male thought processes.. considering you think you will be labeled a creep for following someone on IG, its no surprise that in your viewpoint cold approaching a female is akin to being some beta orbiter lowlife with zero options.

both situations are dependant on the person. if you are some incel ugly low tier desperate male with no options then yea u will be seen as creep on both the online space and in real life as well.
 

DEEZEDBRAH

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PUAs make two very contradictory claims

1) Cold approach is the best way to meet women.
2) Women are attracted to men who are non-needy, non-desparate and have lots of options

Both of these statements cannot be true. Can you think of a better way to project desperation and lack of options than approaching a complete stranger on the street? I can't.
What is the best way to get women? OLD is cuck.

Much of what you deem now as pua is click bait marketing.

Seek competence in a variety of means to get women.
 

DEEZEDBRAH

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thats because you are exhibiting beta male thought processes.. considering you think you will be labeled a creep for following someone on IG, its no surprise that in your viewpoint cold approaching a female is akin to being some beta orbiter lowlife with zero options.

both situations are dependant on the person. if you are some incel ugly low tier desperate male with no options then yea u will be seen as creep on both the online space and in real life as well.
+1

Its funny cause guys like op will post maybe read a book or wstch a vid. Decades later bit cannot approach. The current crop of men are doing nothing good in the market place.if anything, its just a ro7nd table of simping and pandering beta thirst.

@op, the field answers all your questions.
 

fastlife

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The only paradox is if you see a girl you want and don’t put yourself in a position to get her.

But I’ll break things down.

  • Girls want to meet a cool guy
  • I want to meet hot girls
  • Girls usually won’t approach
  • You approach girls
For a girl her looking at you (or avoiding eye contact entirely) might account for an ‘approach’ in her mind. You can’t consistently and reliably count on a girl to make things happen.

Also, just like you can go to Best Buy without being ‘desperate’ for a TV, you can approach a girl without being desperate for her. You might want a TV, you might want to see what features it has, you might even really want this particular model, while still knowing there are billions of TVs and if you don’t buy one now you can still buy one somewhere else tomorrow.
 

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stormrider

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PUAs make two very contradictory claims

1) Cold approach is the best way to meet women.
2) Women are attracted to men who are non-needy, non-desparate and have lots of options

Both of these statements cannot be true. Can you think of a better way to project desperation and lack of options than approaching a complete stranger on the street? I can't.

As Deezedbrah answered, the field really does answer all of your questions.

I would argue that broad day light answers all of your questions.

Sometimes the game can get diluted at night because of all the thirsty dudes and entitled females. If this is the only reality you know, then you need to develop a social life that has women in it. Then you will truly see the light.

Dominant man = women attracted to him. Because he has options, he is non needy and non desperate. Women give him all kinds of hints. Some women even downright seduces him. Even if the woman doesn't have the courage to pursue him overtly, she would give him all the signs in the world to where he would feel that the interest level is really high, which would make his approach rejection proof. In a sense, she approached HIM with her eye contact.

This is the reality of a dominant guy who is surrounded by women in broad day light.

I just happen to be naturally dominant so I don't have to think too much. So the million dollar question is and has always been "How does a man become masculine and dominant?" It has never been "How does a basement dweller leave his basement once a month and pull women back to his lair with his GAME?" That's all marketing.
 

Spaz

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PUA's are pure entertainers and are just really good at projecting an initial fake (dominant) personality to get women.

In the long run, they are unable to keep up faking that dominance to sustainably hold onto her, she'll sense it sooner or later when he fails her follow up shiet tests.

Masculinity is a learned trait and its something that is always enduringly attractive to femininity.

Learn that instead of PUA trickery.
 

Mauser96

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Cold approach without indicators of interest are a very good way to destroy your self-esteem
 

zekko

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  • Girls want to meet a cool guy
  • I want to meet hot girls
  • Girls usually won’t approach
  • You approach girls
I guess we've moved past that "girls approaching and seducing men is the natural way of the world" thing that was going on around a few weeks ago?
 

Amante Silvestre

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1) Cold approach is the best way to meet women.
2) Women are attracted to men who are non-needy, non-desparate and have lots of options
Women are like bloodhounds. They can sniff out a man who is needy and desperate. They can also sniff out a man who isn’t.

If a woman sees you as the latter, approaching her is a compliment to her. She will feel as if you are selecting her above all of the others, hence why approaching women can be highly effective if you’re capable of it.

The problem with most PUAs is that they seldom convey this very well, most likely because it is just an act or a routine or a behavioral blueprint, rather than a genuine act of interest. A woman will sense he does it all of the time with any woman the “PUA” sees. There is nothing special about it. Any woman will do. Hence, a man can appear very needy and desperate even when he’s trying so hard to be smooth and nonchalant.

PUA = fake it till you make it.

A DJ is already a made man.
 

fastlife

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I guess we've moved past that "girls approaching and seducing men is the natural way of the world" thing that was going on around a few weeks ago?
I've never advocated that. Sure, if you're high value, you'll get some freebies. But they'll generally be 1.) Below what you could get or 2.) Sexually aggressive. I get approached at least once or twice anytime I go out. If those were the only girls I went for, to maintain my current standard, I'd probably only meet 1 or 2 girls I'm really into a year.

I'd rather give my self the freedom to see a girl I want and give her the chance to meet me.
 

Spaz

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I guess we've moved past that "girls approaching and seducing men is the natural way of the world" thing that was going on around a few weeks ago?
Actually that is the natural order.

I already knew it since I was barely 12 years old when girls were actually actively chasing boys and we boys were actually busy with our sports, activities, etc.

And the school nerds were busy dreaming about girls panties and bras.

You think it has change much in adult life ?
 

zekko

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You think it has change much in adult life?
Yeah, puberty makes a huge difference. A few extra years, and the boys will be thinking about those girls a LOT more. And it's not just the nerds taking notice.

Anyway, it takes two to tango. Seduction is more like a dance, it's a back and forth. But the males are the agressers so they will usually make the first move, at least the first overt move. If the situation is right, the girl will - like if he is a top guy to her. But women have less testosterone, they aren't as bold. Usually the male is the hunter, even if he is a clumsy one.

Beyond that, if the girl gets emotionally hooked, she will initiate until the end of time.
 

Spaz

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Yeah, puberty makes a huge difference. A few extra years, and the boys will be thinking about those girls a LOT more. And it's not just the nerds taking notice.

Anyway, it takes two to tango. Seduction is more like a dance, it's a back and forth. But the males are the agressers so they will usually make the first move, at least the first overt move. If the situation is right, the girl will - like if he is a top guy to her. But women have less testosterone, they aren't as bold. Usually the male is the hunter, even if he is a clumsy one.

Beyond that, if the girl gets emotionally hooked, she will initiate until the end of time.
Yes human males are the apex predators of this world, we males want to conquer everything, even death itself, everyone can agree to that.

Males are biologically made for that, hence our physical strengths, our minds etc are all tuned to that.

But yet men are often reduced by women as can be witnessed numerous times in Sosuave.

Females too are apex predators.

And men are their prey....their no. 1 hobby.

Has always been so and will continue to be so.

The cat will always want to catch the mouse.

Didn't I told you to do a simple test and ask ur girlfriend zekko, have you ?
 

EyeOnThePrize

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PUAs make two very contradictory claims

1) Cold approach is the best way to meet women.
2) Women are attracted to men who are non-needy, non-desparate and have lots of options

Both of these statements cannot be true. Can you think of a better way to project desperation and lack of options than approaching a complete stranger on the street? I can't.
the problem is you can't imagine approaching without coming off as needy and desperate to the point that you think these two statements contradict each other. consider that your homework, because it's absolutely possible.
 
Read the 22 Rules for Massive Success with Women. Everything you need to know to become a huge success with women. And it's free!

Spaz

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the problem is you can't imagine approaching without coming off as needy and desperate to the point that you think these two statements contradict each other. consider that your homework, because it's absolutely possible.
There's a few approaches but the one being peddled here is PUA trickery.

Say a few juicy words, walk a certain way, act a certain way and boom Ka - Boom!

Women will be dropping their panties.

If not, then test it out a few hundred times (numbers game) and when you do get laid, it works!

Whatcha know Spaz!?

It works, the gurus were all right, it's all a numbers game, like playing jackpot, you're bound to land something once in a while.

Then they will repeat and rinse said performance but is it sustainable?

Aside to the above, yes I as a matter of fact do approach women, I'd be lying if I say I never approach women but it was never with the initial intent of seducing her, more like bumping into her or her into me and things sometimes naturally took off from there.

Women for most part are "naturally bumping" into men while he's busy with something.

Have you men not noticed when u r quietly sitting down engrossed with whatever and something just so happens to fall right in front of you as a woman passes by?

That you'd automatically respond to it?

And she profusely thanking you?

You guys can't be this clueless or naive...
 

Medina

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Ill give it to you straight OP cos on this forum youll hear a bunch of stuff about frame and never get anything done

Men make the initial open with women, this will never change. As a woman once said to me "he could look like brad pitt, I still aint approaching". Some women might help you, by entering your space but in general the first action is yours. Wether you make your interest clear from the beginning or not is personal preference and it doesnt really matter if attraction is there anyway. Now, here is where the dynamic usually changes - After this showdown, the woman should chase you a little more than you chase her. And youll notice a similar pattern when you think back to most of your lays. Its during this period when a guy is laying on too much interest that he can look desperate and needy. Good luck
 

stringpuller

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PUAs make two very contradictory claims

1) Cold approach is the best way to meet women.
2) Women are attracted to men who are non-needy, non-desparate and have lots of options

Both of these statements cannot be true. Can you think of a better way to project desperation and lack of options than approaching a complete stranger on the street? I can't.
In directly starting a conversation with someone who looks interesting to you is not desperate to me. Street approaching i see in videos one after another can look a bit weird.
High end food outlets are great places to start conversations. Ask were an ingredient is. Chatty elderly ladies love to talk recipes. Lol
Ask about something your looking for and you should know within 10-20 secs if that question can turn into a conversation.
Maybe even less then that.
 

stringpuller

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Women are like bloodhounds. They can sniff out a man who is needy and desperate. They can also sniff out a man who isn’t.

If a woman sees you as the latter, approaching her is a compliment to her. She will feel as if you are selecting her above all of the others, hence why approaching women can be highly effective if you’re capable of it.

The problem with most PUAs is that they seldom convey this very well, most likely because it is just an act or a routine or a behavioral blueprint, rather than a genuine act of interest. A woman will sense he does it all of the time with any woman the “PUA” sees. There is nothing special about it. Any woman will do. Hence, a man can appear very needy and desperate even when he’s trying so hard to be smooth and nonchalant.

PUA = fake it till you make it.

A DJ is already a made man.
The way you look at a woman when you say something is paramount. Also has to be authentic. Bloodhounds they are.
 

AttackFormation

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1 - If you are doing something you don't enjoy just to try to date women, you are being desperate and disingenuous to yourself. This can both shine through and hamper whatever it is you're trying to do, and wear your selfesteem down. It can still "work" but you have to keep those things in mind.
2 - If you are doing something you enjoy, you are being true to yourself. By living this way you are also keeping your dignity and selfesteem.

It's no harder than that for me, it's not about what you do but why you do it.

Now, perspectives on cold approaching will depend based on someone's psychology and attractiveness.

1 - Someone who is or isn't attractive, but is on the dark triad spectrum and sees people as props or prey, won't care about whether an approach is cold or warm as they don't have normal feelings anyway. So in a sense they are always being true to themselves. The problem is most men are not on the dark triad spectrum, so PUA stuff based on them acting more as if they shouldn't have normal feelings and shaming them if they do is probably ineffective. It's actually even what they call "toxic masculinity" (which is originally coined by men, check out the etymology and usage section here).
2 - Someone who never gets IOIs in any setting because of being low in attractiveness, but is also not psychologically dark triad, is in a tougher spot regarding to cold approach or not that they'll have to solve for themselves.
3 - Someone who isn't dark triad but is attractive enough to get IOIs in warm settings like school, or if they are so hot and handsome that they get IOIs in cold settings like OLD, antisocial media, clubs or the street, may not feel as great a need to cold approach since they know they can manage without either in the right settings or in any setting.

Personally I've never enjoyed 'cold' approaching. Nowadays I approach women if they give me some sort of IOI which I give them opportunities to do through proximity and eye contact if I want them.
 
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