"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Coffee shop approaches

Shivastorm_88

Senior Don Juan
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How do you guys usually initiate the approach? I usually feel like I'm bothering if I don't have a legit excuse to approach :/

It's a shame because there are so many HBs in the coffee shops I usually go to study, it's insane
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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oneboy21

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You don't approach them at coffee shops, you will start a conversation. it should be natural not like intentional.
Not all coffee shops are friendly enough to approach, starbucks are worst.
I never had success at coffee shops.
 

Vice

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I've gotten a lay out of a Starbucks.

I was reading a book, and I overheard the girl say something to her friend so I commented on it. We ended up talking, and I got her email. Added her on Facebook (This was last summer when I still had one) and we went out, and ended up sleeping together on the first date.

It can be done; you need to look for opportunities. Or the classic "Hey I saw you over here and wanted to meet you" will work great if you're good at direct game and making your intentions clear. Or you can ask her what she's reading/studying.

Coffee shops were my prime hunting grounds before I turned 21, and I'm thinking about going back to them when the cold weather comes around.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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oneboy21

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Women don't stick them selves to their computer, book stores are larger in size. you will see more women coming in and going out.
 

yuppaz

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I do pretty awesome at coffee shops. Honestly, do you think she can't crack her book / laptop and read at home? maybe she's there to study AND possibly meet someone. Trick is what ESPI mentioned. Just be subtle and start talking about something. I prefer to be less direct in those settings because if she doesn't like you and you can read the subtle signs of that then it's simple enough to stop talking without making you or her uncomfortable. If she does then it should be easy enough to tell that through reading of her body language as well. I like to think myself an interesting person and get curious about other people which people are happy to talk about (talk about themselves) when they share something you can too, that's how you build a connection.
 
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