"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
CNN article: AFC in the extreme or just "in love?"
- Thread starter MrCode
- Start date
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Nightspark
Senior Don Juan
the Larry should forget it and move on... if she changed her cell numberf and got her parents to block him from entering the community, then he's just going to get over it and restart himself again.
is it AFCish? Depends how far he goes... if this $17,000 is the last stunt he does then well he's not AFC per say ... just wants his wifey back... but we'll see what happens
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
And you're saying that her love and affection was only worth $1000 a year for 17 years. I'm not saying that he should spend more, but you can't help but loose when you have to buy your way out of a bad relationship situation. Another example of this is alimony.
(I'm assuming hes rich since his wife is in a "gated" community, and the "well-bred" tend to only screw each other. Nothing like concentrating your genes!)
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Kaine
Senior Don Juan
Everything is relative, does he earn as much as Bill Gates. Then 17K is pocket change to him, would this have more meaning if it was a starving african spending the goat money on a hallmark card?
Has anyone considered what the root of the split was. Does spending 17k solve these problems?
What is the implication even if she comes back? Who owns the balls and wears the pants. Does life improve for him?
Maybe she is a biotch.
Marriage is a legally binding token of committment. Spiritually what is the difference between this and a 17 year defacto relationship?
Without considering children, Marriage or no marriage, you are better off to cut your losses and move on, or would you rather spend another 10 more miserable years with the same cranky women.
What is the purpose of this action? Is it to attract the women. Again everyone should know you don't need nor should you sell your liver to do this. Anyone who has unplugged themselves from the matrix knows that lasting attraction is NOT about the money you spend on the women.
It is commendable that he is trying to save his marriage providing he just isn't in it to save his ass from a big fat settlement.
Without having to make too many assumptions. Fact of the matter is he is going the wrong way about it. He doesn't know the science of attraction.
Hence thinks like an AFC
Kaine
MetalFortress
Master Don Juan
For someone to spend $17,000 on an ad to try to get his wife to forgive him he had to do something HORRIBLE. My guess is either that he cheated on her and she caught him in the act or he is abusive and she finally left and his usual ploys to get her to come back didn't work.
This guy isn't an "AFC", he's just nuts and an idiot to boot.
MacDiddy
Master Don Juan
I must be a nut or an idiot if I want to go back to being AFC!!!
Kaine
Senior Don Juan
Dearest Wyldfire
Been and idiot and an AFC is not mutually exclusive
AFC = average fustrated chump, this phrase was coined by Ross Jeffries as a description of the typical male who doesn't apply the science of seduction but rather seeks to buy the girls love and qualify himself to her.
Thanks for injecting some estrogen into the board but your observation is one sided. Did you view this man as romantic and giving because he did what you relate to as an incredible generous act? No. You observed that he must be dark and horrible or committed some kind of despicable atrocity.
Surely you easily forget the stories of men who had been cheated on, b1tched on, slapped, kicked and castrated yet came back with flowers and candy all apologetic and begging for forgiveness. Some of these are nice guys. These are written in threads were we tell these AFCs that she isn't worth it, to NEXT her, find someone who will treat you will affection and respect.
You assume without considering all the options. Who here knows for sure.
Kaine
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
Just wait until someone comes through that has more means than he does...
MacDiddy
Master Don Juan
Kaine you kiss a$$!!!
Desdinova
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Nov 15, 2004
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I don't think that's necessarily true. They could've just argued a lot. She could've said "I'm leaving" and went to her parents' house to calm the hell down. The guy could've been calling 15 times a day to try and patch it up, he could've been leaving gifts on the doorstep or coming to the house everyday to try and see her. All of this would naturally just drive a woman further away (I know because I've been there). It doesn't necessarily have to be something major, it could just be a slow accumulation of hatred.
The very definition of AFC is spending money to gain a woman's attention!
What is wrong with some of you guys? Will we never, never, ever destroy AFCism as we know it?
I guess not.. so all of you who think what he did was fine, go ahead and spend your money! We will be reading about you after you park your SUV in front of a train!
Dietzcoi
"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
Desdinova
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Nov 15, 2004
- Messages
- 11,680
- Reaction score
- 4,874
But we don't know why he's asking for forgiveness. Perhaps he wants to be forgiven for calling too many times or showing up unexpectedly at her door. AFCs can apologize for almost anything. "Oh sorry dear, I didn't mean to get a hard on while you're mad."
I think he's got mental problems. That's not saying he's not an effeminate lap dog too...but to spend that much money to put a letter of apology in the newspaper (which will embarass his wife horribly) that is going to be very personal is just plain insane.
MacDiddy
Master Don Juan
He is just a very rich man driven to frustration and desperation like all AFCs for wanting something back that he cannot have.
If only he knew the DJ way.
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
I agree, desparation can easily reveal a person's weakness. It seems that if they have money to throw away it reveals it even more.
It doesn't say he's rich. He might have spent his whole life's savings on that ad for all we know.
Here is why I say he's NUTS...
1) The wife is hiding out in a gated community where he had to be told to stay away from.
2) He put his personal plea to his wife in the goshdarned newspaper for the whole world to see to the tune of 17k.
Sorry, but NO ONE in their right mind pays 17k to put their personal business in public print, thereby totally humiliating himself and his wife. The guy is loopy, period.
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.