Christianity kept me clean, too clean, f'd me up early on

Poonani Maker

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I grew up in a Christian school. It was ruff. We weren't allowed to be "haughty" or "puffed up" weren't allowed to fight much, drink much, "sin" much, without severe consequences or expulsion. I was on ancestry dot com and it supplied my Senior annual pic and the surrounding classmates' pics, and looking back with my mature mind, what I see in the photos is more mature classmates to the top, to the left, to the right, and below me in the middle. One down below died just a couple of years after graduation to cancer I remember. He was a good redheaded kid (tall) but not very attractive much but an athlete and I'd say goofy-looking but well-read (history). Then the others around look "Christian" or at "peace" and certainly mature, and probably All had been laid both girls and boys by that point by their girlfriends/boyfriends respectively. The future was ahead of us all, we were settin out... starting our adult lives. Many all around my photo on that page look "confident" I guess "in Christ." We were college prep, so of course college was a breeze first couple of years.

Anyway, back to MY pic. I look SAD (as opposed to the others but the girl on my left). I look like I wanna fight (thus immature for a "senior" photo). I look ANGRY and disturbed or in a vindictive mood. In fact, my Entire school life I felt that way that I was being belittled by my Christian surroundings. My Angry and violent dad has something to do with my demeanor All My Life. I just cried having seen his "my life" (you know that site) photo and the description saying he's deceased. It just fvcks me up. Most people in my school Did NOT have a father like mine. Most had Christian fathers or "corporate" fathers but not all of course. But that breathes through in my pic. The Years of torment NOT behaving "Christian" like those around me expected me to behave. I had anger against the "system," against them wanting me to be (teacher AND classmates) a certain way, to act and speak a certain way...to conform. My photo appears "arrested development" and I appear almost TWELVE or not "mature" like those on all sides of me. One must say, "What are you so Angry about?" Well, I didn't like the gossip, I didn't like betrayal, I missed my cousins from youth, my brothers. The fuzzy "we are kindred spirits" warm feel between blood doesn't apply to foreigners that are your classmates. I missed the kinship for years and years and I had become a warped loss of identity individual.

I was tan, young, not fat just normal (or slightly thin I'd say) good looking and though concerned about his image. I was sooooooo sheltered bein in that school, but in addition I was clamping down my OWN personal limitations by not exploring much like the other car-drivers did. Most had jobs. I didn't. So I couldn't pay for gas much to go out much so I stayed home and just played sports at the gym whatever in my local radius.

I guess I'm still the same guy in the photo and I love that guy for sticking to his guns. I look like I'm about to draw my weapon in the photo. My dad, a Marine, as well as his side of the family introduced me to guns very early in life and it was just an obsession for them. Reloading all manner of calibers in a shed on a farm in the middle of nowhere where we'd shoot (but it was once every 3 to 4 years we got to go down there to shoot and be around family - REAL people real women who were "Earthy" and wise and sweet and good and common sensical, just Nature people from another world like Civil War times or something). Not sure if some of my preppy classmates, girls and boys, got to experience the "Earth" like I did growing up. Sure, a few did, but many of them were children of the concrete city, though I remember a boy who created moonshine but he left our school didn't last long.

Anyway, a FINE girl down below who I had a tussle with and attraction for/from in classes, never married. She's still pretty fine in the face at least in her 40s, just with pics of her and her dog. She was beautiful in her senior pic laid out in the sunlight on a lawn (mine was sitting on a rock). So she never reproduced. Neither have I (yet). We were both top 5 best-looking in our class (not much competition though out of 100 or so students). Is it a waste? our genes? not going forward? I don't know but I love who I was as Confused as I was at that time in my life a 17 yr old. I looked Angry and I am sure people (gossiping) were always wondering "what's wrong?" (with him), cause I WAS aesthetically probably envied for my features and had all the attributes that Surely would/should have brought reproduction 10-fold. I just didn't play the game hahah. I had every desirable feature along with mystery or uniqueness. I chose not to play the game. I hated the way the world was turnin. I could see it, even then. I don't think ANY of my classmates could see it. I was angry cause I was seein reality of the future and present and reality is Ugly. You choose to live in a make-believe world like them (my classmates) your opportunity for reproduction is greatly enhanced.

It's like Michael Jackson or Prince being a "Jehovah's Witness." What for? He wanted to be controlled. Anyone who joins a cult like that wants control (or rules) to believe the fantasy, because to live in reality is self-defeating at times closing down doors for you in your life. You can relate when everyone's on the same page. I was on the same page with my kin, my cousins/brothers early on in life. I just couldn't forge the fake relationships with foreigners I had to be around who didn't see/treat me as a brother/cousin. Everyone was so impartial. Well not everyone, I had solid friends but they moved on, still keep in touch with One. He was my best one, the one with the Golden Gloves father.
 
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DJnoob

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yeah, i was told when i was little, kid...well my uncle told me a story. I was probably 8 years old at the time. The story goes... THey were playing spirit in the glass. They contacted this spirit who happens to be Indian. They spoke to the spirit and asked him where he is in the spiritual world. He said hell. THey asked WHY?

His reason, he had sex with too many women.

And i was 8 years old at the time... He wouldn't make stuff up like that.
Sounds legit enough? lol..
 

zekko

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I've always found this Biblical passage interesting:

"16 So don't be too good or too wise - why kill yourself? 17 But don't be too wicked or too foolish, either - why die before you have to?
18 Avoid both extremes. If you have reverence for God, you will be successful anyway."

You don't hear this one quoted much, but it sounds very practical. Being overly righteous is probably not a problem that most people have, but it might indicate that you have too much pride, and might isolate you so much that you can't relate to people. Avoid both extremes. If you have reverence for God, you will be successful anyway. I like that.
 

Alvafe

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I've always found this Biblical passage interesting:

"16 So don't be too good or too wise - why kill yourself? 17 But don't be too wicked or too foolish, either - why die before you have to?
18 Avoid both extremes. If you have reverence for God, you will be successful anyway."

You don't hear this one quoted much, but it sounds very practical. Being overly righteous is probably not a problem that most people have, but it might indicate that you have too much pride, and might isolate you so much that you can't relate to people. Avoid both extremes. If you have reverence for God, you will be successful anyway. I like that.
actually that is a way to keep people in control, obey god and follow the path, don't be too wise or too good to supass the church, don't ignore law if no you will make our control dificult, the moment you start to see any religion as a mass control tool, you start to pick some interesting things

like why the parents are so keen to "teach" children as soon as possible about they religion?, the younger they are easier is to brainwash people, and easier they will fall in place
 

zekko

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actually that is a way to keep people in control, obey god and follow the path, don't be too wise or too good to supass the church, don't ignore law if no you will make our control dificult, the moment you start to see any religion as a mass control tool, you start to pick some interesting things
I think you're reading things into that passage that aren't there. This is an Old Testament passage, so there was no "church" technically at the time. This is advice about avoiding extremes in your life. If it was meant to cow you, it would tell you to be extremely good and not go against the religious leaders. But that's not what it says.
 
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Alvafe

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I think you're reading things into that passage that aren't there. This is an Old Testament passage, so there was no "church" technically at the time. This is advice about avoiding extremes in your life. If it was meant to cow you, it would tell you to be extremely good and not go against the religious leaders. But that's not what it says.
religion is religion, saying church is just a slang for keeping the power to the religion, with is always used for control, yes avoid extremes, follow god, btw who had teh word of god in hands? who guided the people? a extreme could be not following the religion, another extreme would be getting knowledge the religion belive is bad, the simple matter is follow and know your place
 

Suave88

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I grew up in a Christian school. It was ruff. We weren't allowed to be "haughty" or "puffed up" weren't allowed to fight much, drink much, "sin" much, without severe consequences or expulsion. I was on ancestry dot com and it supplied my Senior annual pic and the surrounding classmates' pics, and looking back with my mature mind, what I see in the photos is more mature classmates to the top, to the left, to the right, and below me in the middle. One down below died just a couple of years after graduation to cancer I remember. He was a good redheaded kid (tall) but not very attractive much but an athlete and I'd say goofy-looking but well-read (history). Then the others around look "Christian" or at "peace" and certainly mature, and probably All had been laid both girls and boys by that point by their girlfriends/boyfriends respectively. The future was ahead of us all, we were settin out... starting our adult lives. Many all around my photo on that page look "confident" I guess "in Christ." We were college prep, so of course college was a breeze first couple of years.

Anyway, back to MY pic. I look SAD (as opposed to the others but the girl on my left). I look like I wanna fight (thus immature for a "senior" photo). I look ANGRY and disturbed or in a vindictive mood. In fact, my Entire school life I felt that way that I was being belittled by my Christian surroundings. My Angry and violent dad has something to do with my demeanor All My Life. I just cried having seen his "my life" (you know that site) photo and the description saying he's deceased. It just fvcks me up. Most people in my school Did NOT have a father like mine. Most had Christian fathers or "corporate" fathers but not all of course. But that breathes through in my pic. The Years of torment NOT behaving "Christian" like those around me expected me to behave. I had anger against the "system," against them wanting me to be (teacher AND classmates) a certain way, to act and speak a certain way...to conform. My photo appears "arrested development" and I appear almost TWELVE or not "mature" like those on all sides of me. One must say, "What are you so Angry about?" Well, I didn't like the gossip, I didn't like betrayal, I missed my cousins from youth, my brothers. The fuzzy "we are kindred spirits" warm feel between blood doesn't apply to foreigners that are your classmates. I missed the kinship for years and years and I had become a warped loss of identity individual.

I was tan, young, not fat just normal (or slightly thin I'd say) good looking and though concerned about his image. I was sooooooo sheltered bein in that school, but in addition I was clamping down my OWN personal limitations by not exploring much like the other car-drivers did. Most had jobs. I didn't. So I couldn't pay for gas much to go out much so I stayed home and just played sports at the gym whatever in my local radius.

I guess I'm still the same guy in the photo and I love that guy for sticking to his guns. I look like I'm about to draw my weapon in the photo. My dad, a Marine, as well as his side of the family introduced me to guns very early in life and it was just an obsession for them. Reloading all manner of calibers in a shed on a farm in the middle of nowhere where we'd shoot (but it was once every 3 to 4 years we got to go down there to shoot and be around family - REAL people real women who were "Earthy" and wise and sweet and good and common sensical, just Nature people from another world like Civil War times or something). Not sure if some of my preppy classmates, girls and boys, got to experience the "Earth" like I did growing up. Sure, a few did, but many of them were children of the concrete city, though I remember a boy who created moonshine but he left our school didn't last long.

Anyway, a FINE girl down below who I had a tussle with and attraction for/from in classes, never married. She's still pretty fine in the face at least in her 40s, just with pics of her and her dog. She was beautiful in her senior pic laid out in the sunlight on a lawn (mine was sitting on a rock). So she never reproduced. Neither have I (yet). We were both top 5 best-looking in our class (not much competition though out of 100 or so students). Is it a waste? our genes? not going forward? I don't know but I love who I was as Confused as I was at that time in my life a 17 yr old. I looked Angry and I am sure people (gossiping) were always wondering "what's wrong?" (with him), cause I WAS aesthetically probably envied for my features and had all the attributes that Surely would/should have brought reproduction 10-fold. I just didn't play the game hahah. I had every desirable feature along with mystery or uniqueness. I chose not to play the game. I hated the way the world was turnin. I could see it, even then. I don't think ANY of my classmates could see it. I was angry cause I was seein reality of the future and present and reality is Ugly. You choose to live in a make-believe world like them (my classmates) your opportunity for reproduction is greatly enhanced.

It's like Michael Jackson or Prince being a "Jehovah's Witness." What for? He wanted to be controlled. Anyone who joins a cult like that wants control (or rules) to believe the fantasy, because to live in reality is self-defeating at times closing down doors for you in your life. You can relate when everyone's on the same page. I was on the same page with my kin, my cousins/brothers early on in life. I just couldn't forge the fake relationships with foreigners I had to be around who didn't see/treat me as a brother/cousin. Everyone was so impartial. Well not everyone, I had solid friends but they moved on, still keep in touch with One. He was my best one, the one with the Golden Gloves father.
I read the Bible until this dude stole this blonde girl from me. I was only 15. The teaching in the Bible do not help you to get the woman you want! It even goes against hiring hookers, while many priest are fvcking kids..... I eventually discarded it. However, I am still believe in God. He gives opportunities with women, he allows me to have a decent job, and life. Women don't want to date a bum. I also see how people create social circles in the church to meet people. Some use religion to manipulate women. I am wondering how Warren Jeff did it. How I can become a poligamist. I should move to Utah first...
 

Speculator E

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I read the Bible until this dude stole this blonde girl from me. I was only 15. The teaching in the Bible do not help you to get the woman you want! It even goes against hiring hookers, while many priest are fvcking kids..... I eventually discarded it. However, I am still believe in God. He gives opportunities with women, he allows me to have a decent job, and life. Women don't want to date a bum. I also see how people create social circles in the church to meet people. Some use religion to manipulate women. I am wondering how Warren Jeff did it. How I can become a poligamist. I should move to Utah first...
It's because the Bible became corrupted. It was written by men not God. There's no way to verify what was written was by men or God.
We give a lot of faith that men didn't try to corrupt the Bible with their own world view.
 

candyman105

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Pseudo-intellectual babbling by a bunch of middle aged man-babies who refuse to take accountability for their own lives. What's next on your blame list? Fluoridated toothpaste? Little green men from mars?

Take the diapers off and grow up. Look for your big boy pants now.
 
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LARaiders85

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I read about half of OP at the most but I had that Christian upbringing and the problem was it taught that women are asexual and morally superior to men.
 

2Rocky

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A woman you meet NOW doesn't care about who you were in Highschool.

What does a picture taken of you NOW look like? Who are you now? Where do you want to be? How are you going to get there?


1574807411911.jpeg
 

Poonani Maker

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A woman you meet NOW doesn't care about who you were in Highschool.

What does a picture taken of you NOW look like? Who are you now? Where do you want to be? How are you going to get there?


View attachment 3216
I just think I should've moved from where I was born n' raised sooner FAR AWAY. That would have allowed me to capitalize on my advantages better. I never took full advantage of my height, looks, and honest disposition then. I never leveraged myself. I was too chicken to Leave into the unknown (away from family - no backstop) until I had nothing left to lose so I DID leave eh about 8 years later than I should've left. Of course, out-of-state tuition was a block for me to cause me to stay put. My tuition only amounted to 25K for 4-year. That was easily paid off in my mid-20s with help from parents.

The picture of me now looks fine for my age, I'm the same boy but very sexed now, I guess I want a family (but of course we know how dangerous that is - not like our parents or older brothers had it). I don't know how I'm going to get there, but the clock is a-ticking.
 
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Poonani Maker

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It's because the Bible became corrupted. It was written by men not God. There's no way to verify what was written was by men or God.
We give a lot of faith that men didn't try to corrupt the Bible with their own world view.
I speak with a 23 yr old dopey-looking "Christian" office manager almost every day. He's single and thinks it's perfectly ok to forever be single. He started quoting Paul to me "better to get married than to burn (with passion for a woman/women)." Who does he think I am? I was Raised on this stuff, Bible class and chapel mandatory EVERY YEAR k-12. I've read opposing opinions though since my move away from home 16 years ago. Unique opinions from a Methodist-raised writer (who'd worked for Reagan and helped get him elected) on religion, Jesus, etc. So I pose to him this perspective that "Jesus" may have been married, We don't know! and he (this 23 yr old devout Christian) tells me "No! he was never married." I'm like "We don't know.." and he insists, and I say there is no record of Jesus' life in his teens and 20s. You can't just assume Jesus never had sex. Paul was the one to infuse all this Anti-Sex stuff into Christianity, not Jesus. Jesus never said half the things your everyday devout American christian says he said. It's coming from later books not the gospels. You say any of this stuff in an American church today, and you'll be asked to leave or shunned or disassociated. They worship Saint Paul, 99% of them do. You can't get around it.
 
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LARaiders85

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Morally superior to men?

Seems like ur inherent femininity has even skewered passages in the bible to suit the imperative.
Glad I'm living in your head rent free you little bastard, lol
 

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OP the bible cannot do anything per se unless the boy or man is already inclined in that direction.

For example, if a man is inherently evil, he could read the entire Bible, claim to understand it and then proceed to enforce a mass extinction of a race or city just because the "Bible" thought him so.

And for a man who is inherently saintly, he could read the entire Bible, claim to understand it and then proceed to preach goodness or even influencing countries to apply good practices for humanity.

See the difference?
 

zekko

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religion is religion, saying church is just a slang for keeping the power to the religion, with is always used for control
There are obviously people who use organized religion to their benefit, but I'm talking about spirituality. Not everyone approaches theophilosophical ideas with an aim to manipulate others, or to be manipulated. Ecclesiastes is a good read, I would think even an atheist would admit that.

I read about half of OP at the most but I had that Christian upbringing and the problem was it taught that women are asexual and morally superior to men.
You may have been taught that, but those beliefs are certainly not reflective of Christianity. Quite the opposite, if anything. You seem to have run into some of the people Alvafe has, who are twisting things to their own agenda.
 

LARaiders85

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You may have been taught that, but those beliefs are certainly not reflective of Christianity. Quite the opposite, if anything. You seem to have run into some of the people Alvafe has, who are twisting things to their own agenda.
I agree but I assure you that is the message sent by the modern church.
 
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