I just moved to a new city(Toronto) and I find that girls here don't make eye contact with me at all. I don't like approaching girls unless I can get good eye contact. Where I used to live before I got alot more attention from girls, but here it seems like girls don't even notice me.
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Chicks don't hold eye contact with me?
- Thread starter BlahUgh
- Start date
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
DumpaLumpagus
Don Juan
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Are these just girls walking down the street or down the hallway in the mall? Or are these girls stationary and maybe sitting and reading or talking with their friends?
Keeper
Master Don Juan
You're not butt-ugly, are you? Put a pic up on www.hotornot.com
DumpaLumpagus
Don Juan
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Looks may indeed play a integral part of the puzzle here. From what I've been reading in the "bible", a girl will reject you instantly based on looks alone. I think this effect is amplified when you fit a certian stereotype, such as "That goth kid" or "That Gap tool" and such. Maybe a change in wardrobe will give you better results.
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
cfajason
Don Juan
Get in shape and get a tan...that should draw some attention
Giggitty
New Member
Beyond body modification tips, I would recommend being more aware of the general expression on your face.
Perhaps being in a new environment you are lacking a bit of social confidence and projecting an "unapproachable" expression.
For me personally, I have to almost conciously remind myself to sort of smile or my default look can give the impression like I'm upset or scowling.
I recommend mirror work taking a look at yourself honestly and ask, "Would I want to come up and talk to me?".
Practice a warm friendly expression by sort of smiling with the eyes as opposed with the mouth. I notice when I do this, that frowing muscles around the forhead relax & release, creating an instant improvement in overall facial attractiveness (compared to a stressed out or sour look) and generally makes me look more relaxed, friendly, confident and more approachable based on experience.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying this is a magic bullet and get it right and women will be throwing themselves at you. But, if this is an issue it can be an instant deal breaker. If a woman makes eye contact with you and it appears to her that you are angry or in a bad mood, she will not likely respond positively if at all.
Just some thoughts to bounce off you for what it's worth. This may not be a problem for you at all, but maybe others can relate.
Good luck!
-Giggitty
Perhaps being in a new environment you are lacking a bit of social confidence and projecting an "unapproachable" expression.
For me personally, I have to almost conciously remind myself to sort of smile or my default look can give the impression like I'm upset or scowling.
I recommend mirror work taking a look at yourself honestly and ask, "Would I want to come up and talk to me?".
Practice a warm friendly expression by sort of smiling with the eyes as opposed with the mouth. I notice when I do this, that frowing muscles around the forhead relax & release, creating an instant improvement in overall facial attractiveness (compared to a stressed out or sour look) and generally makes me look more relaxed, friendly, confident and more approachable based on experience.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying this is a magic bullet and get it right and women will be throwing themselves at you. But, if this is an issue it can be an instant deal breaker. If a woman makes eye contact with you and it appears to her that you are angry or in a bad mood, she will not likely respond positively if at all.
Just some thoughts to bounce off you for what it's worth. This may not be a problem for you at all, but maybe others can relate.
Good luck!
-Giggitty
Interesting.. I'm pretty sure this affects me because in the past, I've been asked whats wrong or why I look so serious, when nothing is actually wrong. My sister has also told me that I have an almost perma serious/upset/mad look on my face. Like thats my regular face. What I'm wondering though is how much this affects other people... like if you introduce yourself to someone and they introduce back but stop there whats up? I find that girls here literally ignore me.
I'm not saying that I'm a good looking guy (because right now I honestly don't know) but if a good looking guy had a sorta perma scowl/upset look on his face would he get the same sorta thing? Or would girls ignore the look?
wolfsbaneforever
Don Juan
Theres a chill in the air, of secrets untold
Where are you from anyway ?
Yes, I would be much in your debt, if my fellow DJs (AFCs may not apply) would let me know what they think of women in Toronto, Canada.
I contest that. Its one thing to have confidence and a positvie attitude. Its another when the place one is in, is not entirely conducive.
Don't worry man, Toronto women are cold. The University of Toronto social scene is not the greatest.
Where are you from anyway ?
Yes, I would be much in your debt, if my fellow DJs (AFCs may not apply) would let me know what they think of women in Toronto, Canada.
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"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
cfajason
Don Juan
I was in Montreal last year....that place rocked!The women there where very open and easy to talk too.
wolfsbaneforever
Don Juan
Brother, I heard Texas women rock !?!
Look in regards to Toronto women, I am not saying one cannot score here. Its just hard, not easy. The women in Toronto (in general) are just not friendly. I don't hate them for it, but I will speak the truth about it.
As a litmus test, if there are any men here who say that picking up in Toronto is easy, well where do you go then ?
Now in Texas, I thought the women were aggressive. I have never been, but thats what I have heard.
Desdinova
Master Don Juan
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- Nov 15, 2004
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Why are you letting lack of eye contact be a barrier in your approach? If you want to get eye contact, go fvcking talk to her!
Eye contact is not the make or break of a successful approach. It is an interest indicator, THAT'S ALL.
Eye contact is not the make or break of a successful approach. It is an interest indicator, THAT'S ALL.
Originally posted by lnghrngeek
I'm at the University of Texas at Austin and I'm having the same problem as you. It seems so far from what I've observed girls seem to only jerks or foreign guys. Oh well
Texas women are gold-diggers for the most part, so you need to make sure your dressing and grooming are up to par, these girls like a little flash.
I've seen guys go from zero to 60, just by changing their dressing and grooming habits alone.
Texas girls are big on that....
Sayno'
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
Why not just approach them? Not every woman will make eye contact with you however, you have the ability to approach anyone. Just as long as you are DJ enough.
wolfsbaneforever
Don Juan
WTF are you talking about ? Which clubs ? The ones I have been to, the women have attitude and are cold.
Toronto women are cold. I am not saying you can't fcuk them. But in other cities (Montreal) the women are friendlier.
Man, Toronto women ARE cold. The whole damn city is made up of repressed, anal-retentive, boring people. OK I overstate things... but there's just something about the place that sucks in that "type" of person.
This isn't to say there aren't cool people there, or cool areas.
Come out to the west coast... and you'll never go back.
This isn't to say there aren't cool people there, or cool areas.
Come out to the west coast... and you'll never go back.
"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.