She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
The "power and domination" angle seems to come up a lot when talking about the game, I think it's deeply f*cked up... though you have to consider sociopaths are extremely effective in relationships since they have no qualms about targeting the vulnerability of others, and they aren't crippled by their conscience in their actions. To go further:"All relationships are about power and domination...basically its dog eat dog. Eat or be eaten." I asked her why she dated sociopaths if she wanted power. She said, "Good guys are too easy. They believe what you want them to believe within a week. So so boring and pathetic! Bad boys are arrogant, especially the sociopaths. They think no one can hurt them. Their fatal flaw is their impulsitivity and assumption that they are superior. I fix that. I destory them. I make sure they end up in prison. I become vulnerable and weak to lower their guard. I wait for them to say or do something illegal, then I make sure they go off to jail. They never know what hit them! Don't worry about me. Everything I do has a purpose."
http://thelastpsychiatrist.com/2012/04/why_we_love_sociopaths.htmlKotsko's thesis is that we love sociopaths because sociopathy is opposed to social awkwardness. Say you're in line at the store and some jerk cuts in front of you, on purpose, and for the sake of clarification let me observe he has a Celtic cross tattooed to his shoulder and he just had sex with your girlfriend. He's a different kind of person than you. He can do things you can't, do women you can't, he sees the world's rules differently, which specifically means he understands that there are no "world's rules," that rules are decided by those with power for their own benefit. After he cuts in line, he pockets a Milky Way bar because, well, because he got away with it. My grammar is correct: he can do it since he got away with it.
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
oneboy21 said:How can she be a surgeon when has ADHD?
My mother was a special ed teacher for nearly 40 years.oneboy21 said:I dont really think so, she can have intensely focus on.
It's a primary source. You have to screen for it's possible value yourself -- and you're also well off not taking any article in a respectable media outlet at face value either.FairShake said:Are you guys really analyzing a post on Yahoo answers?
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.