"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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cheap FUN [first] dates?

M

md3sign

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Ok I'm sure this has been discussed to death, but let's bring it back for another round. List off your cheap fun dates and where you had them.

I'm trying to think of a few because movies and food anywhere are just getting stupid, at least for the first date. Not much convo, way too cliche, and not the cheapest in the world.

We all know about the coffee shop.

I don't live by a beach so that's out of the picture.

Ice skating/roller skating are good ones and I try them when I can because (here comes the braggin) I'm damn good at both and it definitely impresses the ladies, but most simply don't want to do anything so active. :woo:

I guess bowling is an option, but I haven't done that in a while.

Perhaps a museum? Though that sounds kinda "serious" to me. It's getting too cold for walks in the park, and although ski/snowboarding trips are awesome and great to go with a girl on, the price and time commitment scream anything but first date.

Any ideas?
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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C

Cod3r

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Take them to the mall...

IMO can't beat it. Dosen't require money, she can do what all girls love to do which is shop and you can get alot of witty comments when she tries stuff on, you can have her put on a fashion show for you... Sexual content when you walk by Victoria Secrets...

Also has cheap food, alot of people, its a very active atmosphere... can't beat it


-Cod3r
 
M

md3sign

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Good point. Would you use it under the pretense that "I need to get something .. wanna come with" or just plainly and straight forward "let's go to the mall"?
 
C

Cod3r

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^ ^ I don't analyze things like that anymore and I'd advise you not to either


-Cod3r
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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kyphan

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- A cup of coffee date. Wanna make it more interesting? Tell her you have a surprise for her. The surprise? Bring a deck of cards or a card game (Uno, for example) and play a few rounds.

- Bowling. Last I knew, three games of bowling and a rental pair of shoes was about $10 per person.

- Extension of the mall idea - if there's a big bookstore and things are going well, bring her in there and tell her to find a book for you and you'll find one for her - in 15 minutes (no pressure to buy the books, of course) - and explain why you picked it.

- Go to a museum that you like (and that's cheap - some can run you quite a bit). It's a good idea, trust me.

- One of my favorite first dates was seeing a jazz band at a local place. Sit towards the back so you can talk, otherwise the music will be too damn loud. The fun part? Trying to communicate with someone without talking.
 
C

Cod3r

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- Extension of the mall idea - if there's a big bookstore and things are going well, bring her in there and tell her to find a book for you and you'll find one for her - in 15 minutes (no pressure to buy the books, of course) - and explain why you picked it.
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Actually a pretty good idea, if i'm ever single again I'll use this. Tks

PS
The coffee and cards, eh seems tryhard but could work


-Cod3r
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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M

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Good idea on the mall definitely. Cards .. maybe. Dunno if the concept is too much for a first date though. 2nd/3rd + sure.
 
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kyphan

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selfmademob said:
Explain more about that coffee thing with the card game
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It's probably better to do after the first date and when you KNOW you want to have some fun.

Play Go Fish, Old Maid, Rummy, or even Spit (now THAT games gets people going if they're good). Or Uno - Uno is great because it's easy to play and is not a typical card game. If she's into it, start betting on games - come up with non-monetary things if possible. You have to be REALLY into the game and not take it seriously. Make it more fun that it should be.
 
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22 Rules for Massive Success With Women
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