Catfished!

[member160292]

They got me tonight. My god she was the slowest drinker ever, I was watching the ice melt.
I had to resort to making the conversation as boring as possible, something incredibly hard to do. About an hour in, she said she was going to go. Guess it worked, but what a waste of time.

How do you guys handle it?

 

[BillyPilgrim]

Google her phone number/get her last name and see if they're any pics that come up (do this before the meet)

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

Use Google reverse image search

 

[member160292]

Use Google reverse image search

Trust me, I research the heck outta anyone I meet

yandex is also a good tool

 

[Bigpapa]

They got me tonight. My god she was the slowest drinker ever, I was watching the ice melt.
I had to resort to making the conversation as boring as possible, something incredibly hard to do. About an hour in, she said she was going to go. Guess it worked, but what a waste of time.

How do you guys handle it?

just leave . Do not be polite , people would not be polite to you back

 

[member160292]

just leave . Do not be polite , people would not be polite to you back

Not my style, I try to find the good in people and try to make people better than they were before they met me. Though, sometimes you have to just throw in the towel.

 

[Barrister]

Not my style, I try to find the good in people and try to make people better than they were before they met me. Though, sometimes you have to just throw in the towel.

You aren't doing her or, more importantly, yourself any favors sitting there in an awkward situation like that. Just tell her you appreciated her coming out, it is getting late, and you have to work early tomorrow. Pay the bill and go. There is absolutely nothing wrong with this and it is probably a relief for her just as much as you. Women can pick up on a date that isn't going well just as much as we can.

If you get a text the next day or days after asking if you want to meet again, be polite but firm that you appreciated the time but don't feel like you two are a match. And then you are done. No issues.

 

[member160292]

I should have mentioned that I’m a regular here and well acquainted with the staff. Like a captain of my ship, I do not abandon ship. I at least let the girl finish her drink, an extra 20-30 minutes doesn’t bother me. Best scenario is her picking up on it and leaving first.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

They got me tonight. My god she was the slowest drinker ever, I was watching the ice melt.
I had to resort to making the conversation as boring as possible, something incredibly hard to do. About an hour in, she said she was going to go. Guess it worked, but what a waste of time.

How do you guys handle it?

Say "You don't look like your pictures at all. Sorry, I'm not interested in a person who feels they need to lie as a way to meet someone."

And then walk out the door. That's it. You don't owe her anything, least of all an hour of your time and paying for a drink. F that

 

[Gamisch]

I should have mentioned that I’m a regular here and well acquainted with the staff. Like a captain of my ship, I do not abandon ship. I at least let the girl finish her drink, an extra 20-30 minutes doesn’t bother me. Best scenario is her picking up on it and leaving first.

Well , you did nothing wrong imo. You meet a woman, she doesn't looks like the pictures on her profile but you chec it out to see if there is a connection. If not, stay polite and let it be. I had a similar situation recently. Kept it short , 2 drinks and " nice getting to know you, maybe we can do this again sometime and ,woosh GHOST ( took that page out the female book).

 

[Bokanovsky]

I should have mentioned that I’m a regular here and well acquainted with the staff. Like a captain of my ship, I do not abandon ship. I at least let the girl finish her drink, an extra 20-30 minutes doesn’t bother me. Best scenario is her picking up on it and leaving first.

What the hell does that even mean? "Captain of the ship"? No, you are just a regular patron who pays money for drinks. Why on earth would the staff care if you leave early?

 

[member160292]

What the hell does that even mean? "Captain of the ship"? No, you are just a regular patron who pays money for drinks. Why on earth would the staff care if you leave early?

Have you ever built relationships with establishments that does you favors to help you get laid?

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

 

[bat soup]

They got me tonight. My god she was the slowest drinker ever, I was watching the ice melt.
I had to resort to making the conversation as boring as possible, something incredibly hard to do. About an hour in, she said she was going to go. Guess it worked, but what a waste of time.

How do you guys handle it?

I don't see why you feel the need to be polite to someone that deceived you and wasted your time. Just get up and leave whenever you want. She did.

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

one time I saw the girl from the window of the coffee shop and I ran away

 

[bat soup]

one time I saw the girl from the window of the coffee shop and I ran away

I did that too. Too ugly for me, I thought, and I just went home.

 

[Modern Man Advice]

Happened to me once or twice. And like you, I try to be respectful even if they aren't to me and tried to deceive me. My actions and mindset are not dependent on others' actions/mindset so I like to be a gentleman and kind regardless.

Both times I just looked at it as a learning experience, and a chance to analyze the brain of a person that:

1) Can conceive the idea of catfishing but still showing up to the date like the other person will not be able to tell. I think it's fascinating to study the human brain and how it functions. So they more or less became a study case for my knowledge.
2) Views a reality of themselves that is obviously not accurate. Some people do have self-image problems, and like an anorexic person can see themselves obese in the mirror, someone might see themselves like in their pics. And that is also fascinating to study.

At the end of the day, being compassionate can go a long way. And you are because you do it for your sake and wellbeing, nothing wrong with that.

But you did well to cut the date short without potentially making someone else's mental issue worse.


Modern Man Advice

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

Yeah I had this occur early on in my OLD dating career. If once I move her to text she doesn’t send any pics I begin to subtly ask for some, if she doesn’t acquiesce I know something’s up. It’s amazing how SIFs can hide it, but there’s no way to hide being obese in a full body shot.

e.g. my profile doesn’t state my height when she asks me I usually say “ok time for biometrics I’m X - what size dress do you wear?” I usually do that when when I’m borderline on a prospect. It often causes indignation, and/or an unmatch or block. They cannot report it because they asked for information first, and a report includes the message history. A few times I’ve gotten “I’m size 6 135lbs, sorry I didn’t make the connection between what I asked and how it might be construed, thanks for the wake up”. And those chicks both became lays.

ymmv

 

[espanish]

this is one reason I don't do tinder. plus, I don't like serial daters. if she is going out with me on monday chances are she is going out with another guy on tuesday and another guy on wednesday. you can try to be something that women hate. be nervous, be a misogynist, talk about all your life's problems and how much you hate life.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

if she is going out with me on Monday chances are she is going out with another guy on Tuesday and another guy on Wednesday

Friend, she's doing that if she's attractive, whether or not shes online. However, chances are that she is, even if she doesn't admit it.