"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

can you guys help me?

U

unreal-guy

Don Juan
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so the other night i was drinking my heineken @ bar
this hot babe about 5'8 and looked like 25 came over to me
i was in shock because hot babes rarely approach me
so we get into this conversation for about a while

i was starting to feel drunk after 5 or some heinekens
so i manned up my **** and told her "wanna go back to my place?"
she said yes and i drove her back to my place

the first moment i opened the door, she grabbed my ass and pushed me to a couch
i lay there she started unzipping my pants and took my **** out

anyway long story short, i found that she has a ****
if i remembered correctly i had ****ed his ass
but i did not suck his **** or get ****ed in the butt so am i gay?
i don't think i am though because i like woman and i have never slept with a man before

what should i do?
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

Read more...

L

Lost1

Don Juan
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lol you cant be serious thats sick as hell. I bet you left your computer running and someone else posted this. If soo..you have been severely OWNED!
 
C

Cod3r

Master Don Juan
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hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

i can't stop

if i remembered correctly i had ****ed his ass
so am i gay?
Click to expand...
hahahahaha yes ur gay hahahaha "if I remember correctly" hahahahahahaha wow hahaha



-Cod3r
 
M

MisterNigma

Don Juan
Joined
Nov 19, 2006
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North New Jersey
LMAO Don't ever drink again!

Btw, now would be a good time to come out of the closet.

Still ROFL. I realize this is serious to you but god damnit LOL!


-E.Nigma

P.S. - 5 Heinekens? I've had 20+ drinks in a night. Light weight ROFL!!!
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

Read more...

U

unreal-guy

Don Juan
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no guys i am really serious

i am a lightweight (20 years old - 5'8 - 160lbs) and i don't drink often unless im out at pub/club with frds

i don't think it really matters if i'm gay or not because i was drunk
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

Read more...

M

MisterNigma

Don Juan
Joined
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Location
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unreal-guy said:
no guys i am really serious

i am a lightweight (20 years old - 5'8 - 160lbs) and i don't drink often unless im out at pub/club with frds

i don't think it really matters if i'm gay or not because i was drunk
Click to expand...
ROFL, I'm sorry, it doesn't matter how drunk I get, men still don't turn me on!

Your story is truly one for the history books of DJs.



-E.Nigma
 
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