Can splitting the bill lose you the girl ?

[viking22]

I go on my fair share of first dates and generally if a girl offers to split the bill and we've had a few drinks so the bill is non-trivial I accept the offer. My logic is that if she likes me it won't be a dealbreaker and if it is then she's going to be expensive to date as I'll have to pay for everything. Also in some cases women with morals will offer to split when they don't like a guy so it can be an indicator of low interest.

But then I was thinking to myself women have multiple options so the bar is set very high for a first date and if they are even a little bit on the fence then especially if they are from traditional cultures they can use it to disqualify men (e.g. he's probably stingy). Also I noticed that whereas a decade or so ago women wanted to be independent and pay their own way now that attitude seems to have fallen by the wayside.

Also I am in my early 40s so realistically women are probably auditioning me for more of a provider rather than a lover role.

So I am conflicted.

 

[Plinco]

Don't forget to have fun on these dates too

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Could go both ways.
But if the woman offers to pay outright assume it's because she doesn't want to see you again and is doing so because she doesn't want to be in a situation where the guy feels he is "owed" something.

 

[quodlibet]

C'mon, on the first few dates, just pay for her. Especially the first date and you're the one who invited her.

On the first date, it should never be a big production anyway. Just grab coffee and talk. Surely this is affordable. You signal that you're selective, want to know someone first before diving in. There's nothing's wrong with this.

It's the pathetic incel types who need to impress with something huge on a first date, as if it's the first time a woman has given him attention.

For me, I've always paid for first few dates. The very first date is always coffee or basic meal. Most of the time, she eventually offers to split at later dates.

 

[CornbreadFed]

It doesn’t matter

 

[Tilex]

Dinner dates are old fashion. Drinks should be the bare maximum.
If you ask her out for a drink and she ordera a 3-course meal, you high tail it outta there. You're dealing with a gold digger that expects you to pay for everything.

 

[Mike32ct]

Some women are totally cool going 50/50.

Some really want the guy to pay 100%, but they will bluff by offering to pay.

Unfortunately you won’t know if she’s bluffing.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Dinner dates are old fashion. Drinks should be the bare maximum.
If you ask her out for a drink and she ordera a 3-course meal, you high tail it outta there. You're dealing with a gold digger that expects you to pay for everything.

Yeah not sure why a guy these days is taking a woman out to dinner. That's a simp move, IMO, unless he is going anyway and just invites her along. But realistically that's maybe 5% of the cases.

 

[jhonny9546]

In Italy the norm is the man pays for it.

There aren't many gold diggers here per say, but any woman here actually want her man to pay for life experiences.

 

[CornbreadFed]

Yeah not sure why a guy these days is taking a woman out to dinner. That's a simp move, IMO, unless he is going anyway and just invites her along. But realistically that's maybe 5% of the cases.

Everything is a simp move. True Alphas tell stranger women to come to their apartments for netflix in chill for the first date.

 

[viking22]

It’s never dinner I’m talking a date where she stays for a few drinks and it’s table service so you can’t just get the first round and see if she offers to get the second round.

agree that if the woman wants to pay for everything then it’s a clear sign she doesn’t want to see you again.

im talking about the scenario where the waitress presents the check it’s around $70-80 ie a few glasses of wine each and you reach for your card and she says do you want to split? It doesn’t happen that often and usually if I’m not feeling it I’ll end the date after a drink but there’s an intermediate scenario where she either has nothing better to do or is enjoying the attention and suggests another drink or orders one when the waitress comes around.

 

[The Duke]

If she was rude, showed up late, or misrepresented herself and you don't want to see her again, then split the check.

If she was polite, showed up on time, and represented herself correctly and you don't want to see her again and you asked her out then you should pay for it.

If you definitely want to see her again, and you feel its likely, then you should pay for it. Its a good power move anyways.

There is a little wh0re in every woman. If you want her to buck(fvck) then you have to put some coins in the slot. None of them let you ride for free.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Everything is a simp move. True Alphas tell stranger women to come to their apartments for netflix in chill for the first date.

Nothing to do with alpha or beta, simply to do with common sense of why would you entrap yourself into a long date and big bill for a woman you might not to want to be spending 5 minutes with in person once you meet?

 

[Clockwerk50]

I tend to pay for the first date in full, regardless of whether she invited me or I invited her. Even if she offers to pay or wants to split the bill, I insist on paying in full. It probably earns me some brownie points, but that's not why I do it. It's just part of my personality. I'm not sure if that's how I was raised, but I tend to be pretty generous with my money. I like providing for people and enjoy sharing things, which might explain why I'm always broke. I haven't really done much introspection on why that is.

Either way, in my experience, the financial aspect of dating starts to even out over time, especially as her interest grows and she wants to monopolize more of your time. Eventually, she'll start inviting you out and paying for things, which I'm perfectly fine with at that point.

 

[CornbreadFed]

Nothing to do with alpha or beta, simply to do with common sense of why would you entrap yourself into a long date and big bill for a woman you might not to want to be spending 5 minutes with in person once you meet?

1). Don't be poor

2). Don't be an idiot and invite women to places like Steak 48. One of the popular places I took women to was sushi happy hours or Postinos because they were affordable yet convincing.

3). Learn to qualify women before you take them out on a date- if a woman is giving me lukewarm interest/red flags from the start, then I am not going to spend 50-plus dollars on her, she is going to get the tavern/cheap dates.

4). I am not in the business of inviting people I do not know to my home because they have a fricking vagina lol. You don't know who this woman is or what she is capable of doing. She could be catfishing you too. Regardless, this bish is now on your couch, and you have to figure out how to kick her out because you thought it was beta to qualify her. I would much rather be in a restaurant setting where I can leave and never see the woman again.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

1). Don't be poor

2). Don't be an idiot and invite women to places like Steak 48. One of the popular places I took women to was sushi happy hours or Postinos because they were affordable yet convincing.

3). Learn to qualify women before you take them out on a date- if a woman is giving me lukewarm interest/red flags from the start, then I am not going to spend 50-plus dollars on her, she is going to get the tavern/cheap dates.

4). I am not in the business of inviting people I do not know to my home because they have a fricking vagina lol. You don't know who this woman is or what she is capable of doing. She could be catfishing you too. Regardless, this bish is now on your couch, and you have to figure out how to kick her out because you thought it was beta to qualify her. I would much rather be in a restaurant setting where I can leave and never see the woman again.

Again, it's nothing to do with being poor, it's to do with being stupid.

There is no level of qualification you can do to tell you whether you will have interest in a woman once you meet in person.

Nothing you do or learn or qualify about her matters until you actually meet and spend time together.

I don't typically do that either. I take them out for a drink or for something fun like Mini-golf and a drink after or if it's nice weather out, walking and talking in a few nice parks with small waterfalls in the area and then ice cream or a drink after since it's close by.

There are a lot of alternatives, have some originality and have some fun.

Spending a lot of money when on a first date when you go on 2-4 a week is stupid. Spending money on dinner is for after you have already fvcked them.

The first date should simply be a meet up to see if you actually want to entertain spending more time with each other moving forward or not.

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

It literally doesn't matter

If she likes you,
she might appreciate you paying
she might pay to show her own appreciation

If she doesn't like you,
she won't suddenly like you if you pay
she may pay so she won't feel obligated to you anymore

 

[RangerMIke]

If you invite someone out, expect to pay.

If the date doesn't go well... fine don't ask her out again... consider it a low-cost investment, and cheaper than ever a short-term relationship.

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

If you invite someone out, expect to pay.

If the date doesn't go well... fine don't ask her out again... consider it a low-cost investment, and cheaper than ever a short-term relationship.

but the man literally is the one asking the women out 99% of the time so you might as well just say the man pays 99% of the time by this logic

 

[zekko]

Everything is a simp move. True Alphas tell stranger women to come to their apartments for netflix in chill for the first date.

I mean, if you look at it that way, why bother with the Netflix? It's not like there's anything worth watching on there anyway. But I guess that's the idea.