MyTeamSupreme
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Basically I'm looking for the dangers of dating a girl that has a bad relationship with her father or has never met him. Please and thank you 
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Can someone explain the dangers of dating a girl with daddy issues?
- Thread starter MyTeamSupreme
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"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
It could range anywhere from halfway normal, to spoiled due to lack of disclipline, to full on BPD or other cluster B disorders. It just depends. If the Dad is not around, she may have abandonment issues, which could either make her clingy, or push you away when you get too close, or sabatoge you by cheating. Or, if her mother is stable, she might be somewhat normal. If her mother was a hor, or a liar, or fvcked up, her daughter might act the same way, but not always. Sometimes they 180 cuz they know their mom is fvcked up, and dont want to be like that.
There are a lot of factors, but those are a few.
There are a lot of factors, but those are a few.
CarlitosWay
Master Don Juan
Well the girl I'm dating right now has a step dad she pretty much got disowned by and recently just discovered her real father.. Just words of wisdom don't be surprised when you become an emotional tampon for her. You'll probably want to be the white knight in her life so prepare to let her know you'll be there for her but you won't get used up and disposed of like that.
This is what I'm preparing to tell this chic I'm with cause it's reaching that point where I feel I have been used and once she gets my positive energy she goes on to zap some more from some one else and I'm just like wtf....?
Just have some self-respect is all I'm saying. If you start to get to emotionally drained from everything she says, you know all the negative ****. Acknowledge you don't deserve to have this leeched on to you to when you're just there to advise her and comfort her the best you can.
We all have our own set of problems but when some one throws their own problems in your face constantly. It turns into a huge problem and I'm kind of stuck in between wanting to be with her and just saying **** it I don't deserve NONE of this **** when I myself have been through a lot to.
It's like I get a high when she feels bad and I make her feel good emotionally and sexually. Then some **** sparks it all over again and again ensues the vicious cycle.
This is what I'm preparing to tell this chic I'm with cause it's reaching that point where I feel I have been used and once she gets my positive energy she goes on to zap some more from some one else and I'm just like wtf....?
Just have some self-respect is all I'm saying. If you start to get to emotionally drained from everything she says, you know all the negative ****. Acknowledge you don't deserve to have this leeched on to you to when you're just there to advise her and comfort her the best you can.
We all have our own set of problems but when some one throws their own problems in your face constantly. It turns into a huge problem and I'm kind of stuck in between wanting to be with her and just saying **** it I don't deserve NONE of this **** when I myself have been through a lot to.
It's like I get a high when she feels bad and I make her feel good emotionally and sexually. Then some **** sparks it all over again and again ensues the vicious cycle.
Julius_Seizeher
Master Don Juan
Ride in on a white horse, ride out with a knife in your back.
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
MyTeamSupreme
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Just to be clear the girl that I'm talking about has never met her father and doesn't have a good relationship with her mother. She see's her mother as insensitive and unemotional with a drinking problem. Whats funny is because of that she never touches alcohol herself but has an emotional wall up.
tsmith2334
Master Don Juan
^^^ Avoid at all costs.
As a child, we view our parents as the blueprint for future relationships and are strongly influenced by the opposite-sex parent in terms of attraction (multiple studies have proved this). A girl who comes from a broken household and has Daddy issues will have NO idea how to maintain a healthy relationship.
One of my most serious relationships was with a girl who hated her father (parents were a divorced, Dad cheated and was emotionally abusive) and dating her was the biggest headache ever.
She was a self-mutilator, had a physically abusive ex who she went BACK TO after we broke it off, she was on anti-depressants, etc. And that's just page one. She was one of the cutest girls I've ever dated but also the worst experience. The baggage and mind games I had to deal with were torture.
For comparison purposes, the girl I'm dating now is a daddy's girl and her parents are happily married.
She has SO much less baggage and it's so much easier to make her happy or just communicate with her. I also bare a striking physical resemblance to her father and I think that's part of the reason she likes me so much
In short, I've been on the both sides of this issue and it's like night and day. I'm telling you... stay away from any girl with daddy issues.
As a child, we view our parents as the blueprint for future relationships and are strongly influenced by the opposite-sex parent in terms of attraction (multiple studies have proved this). A girl who comes from a broken household and has Daddy issues will have NO idea how to maintain a healthy relationship.
One of my most serious relationships was with a girl who hated her father (parents were a divorced, Dad cheated and was emotionally abusive) and dating her was the biggest headache ever.
She was a self-mutilator, had a physically abusive ex who she went BACK TO after we broke it off, she was on anti-depressants, etc. And that's just page one. She was one of the cutest girls I've ever dated but also the worst experience. The baggage and mind games I had to deal with were torture.
For comparison purposes, the girl I'm dating now is a daddy's girl and her parents are happily married.
She has SO much less baggage and it's so much easier to make her happy or just communicate with her. I also bare a striking physical resemblance to her father and I think that's part of the reason she likes me so much
In short, I've been on the both sides of this issue and it's like night and day. I'm telling you... stay away from any girl with daddy issues.
MyTeamSupreme
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it would be huhr0cky said:
Julius_Seizeher
Master Don Juan
Yes, because eHarmony guy said so
BPD Waifs have a nose for Capt Sav-A-Ho White Knights. If you are one of these or even think you might be one of these look out. You'll instinctively think you can help/save/be strong for her. It'll work for a while then slowly things change. The drama you thought would only be temporary never seems to end. There's always new issues. Soon you will be the issue. She will fight or cheat or both. The background info you've given about your girl doesn't sound good at all. Does it mean she'll have issues? Who knows? You've asked this question for a reason though. If it were me I'd go slow and be VERY watchful for any wierdness. At the first uncomfortable exchange I'd next. That's what I would do.
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
jophil28
Master Don Juan
Yes, beware the "waif" or the "lost child" type of woman from a destuctive upbringing.boomerick said:
There are several threads on "daddy issues" on MM, read 'em before you get into a serious LTR.
What about a girl who's dad died when she was 8? is that the same as him abandoning her to an 8 year old?
She's really difficult to get close to, like noone seems to be able to get close to her except for me. She was the youngest sister of 3 sisters, her middle sister was the troublesome one most affected by the dad dying, the sister has been married once, now has a baby with not husband just a bf.
I get the impression my girl got less attention because of the disruptive older sister taking up her mothers attention and feels that because her parents already had 2 girls they wanted a boy. It's sad but that's how she feels. When she was 6 she tried to runaway from home.
She's really difficult to get close to, like noone seems to be able to get close to her except for me. She was the youngest sister of 3 sisters, her middle sister was the troublesome one most affected by the dad dying, the sister has been married once, now has a baby with not husband just a bf.
I get the impression my girl got less attention because of the disruptive older sister taking up her mothers attention and feels that because her parents already had 2 girls they wanted a boy. It's sad but that's how she feels. When she was 6 she tried to runaway from home.
ThatMysteriousGuy
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The danger of not dating a girl with parent issues is that you'll not be dating at least 4/5th of the women.MyTeamSupreme said:Basically I'm looking for the dangers of dating a girl that has a bad relationship with her father or has never met him. Please and thank you
The biggest issue with this girl is you're already trying to be her girlfriend/therapist so it's not going to work out anyway.MyTeamSupreme said:
You're more of a problem at this point than her.
Be a man, not a girlfriend/therapist/priest.
Badmannaz
Master Don Juan
i dated a girl who had never met her father and was raised by her schizophrenic sister....i find out secretly she was a stripper...and by far the most mental agony i've ever experienced in any type of relationship ADVICE: stay far far far away from women with no relationship with there fathers or no strong male role model she grew up with.....she WILL be no GOOD...SHE IS DAMAGED....AND THE BIGGEST ANDVICE OF ALL..YOU CANT DO ANYTHING TO FIX IT...
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
MyTeamSupreme
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i didnt say anything about a mental disorder brothaK2000kidd said:
ThatMysteriousGuy
Senior Don Juan
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You were extremely vague.MyTeamSupreme said:
It's like saying "what do you do about women with issues regarding drinking" and then later you say "I didn't mention alcohol, it's just that she's clumsy and spills Pepsi on herself".
Be more clear with questions and you'll get better answers.
guywhoneedshelp
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http://www.extremebumming.com/Leykis-2007-06-18_Hr4-ChicksWithDaddyIssues.mp3MyTeamSupreme said:Basically I'm looking for the dangers of dating a girl that has a bad relationship with her father or has never met him. Please and thank you
Interesting that you still affirm your love for them, when they don't seem to love you for you as a whole person.
My father was much like this, as was/is his son. I don't like either of them, and without like, love isn't gonna happen. Their choice, my reality.
My father was much like this, as was/is his son. I don't like either of them, and without like, love isn't gonna happen. Their choice, my reality.
MyTeamSupreme
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ThatMysteriousGuy said:
i guess assuming instead of asking is the best way to handle such a situation
"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.