Can someone explain the dangers of dating a girl with daddy issues?

[MyTeamSupreme]

Basically I'm looking for the dangers of dating a girl that has a bad relationship with her father or has never met him. Please and thank you

 

[horaholic]

It could range anywhere from halfway normal, to spoiled due to lack of disclipline, to full on BPD or other cluster B disorders. It just depends. If the Dad is not around, she may have abandonment issues, which could either make her clingy, or push you away when you get too close, or sabatoge you by cheating. Or, if her mother is stable, she might be somewhat normal. If her mother was a hor, or a liar, or fvcked up, her daughter might act the same way, but not always. Sometimes they 180 cuz they know their mom is fvcked up, and dont want to be like that.

There are a lot of factors, but those are a few.

 

[CarlitosWay]

Well the girl I'm dating right now has a step dad she pretty much got disowned by and recently just discovered her real father.. Just words of wisdom don't be surprised when you become an emotional tampon for her. You'll probably want to be the white knight in her life so prepare to let her know you'll be there for her but you won't get used up and disposed of like that.

This is what I'm preparing to tell this chic I'm with cause it's reaching that point where I feel I have been used and once she gets my positive energy she goes on to zap some more from some one else and I'm just like wtf....?

Just have some self-respect is all I'm saying. If you start to get to emotionally drained from everything she says, you know all the negative ****. Acknowledge you don't deserve to have this leeched on to you to when you're just there to advise her and comfort her the best you can.

We all have our own set of problems but when some one throws their own problems in your face constantly. It turns into a huge problem and I'm kind of stuck in between wanting to be with her and just saying **** it I don't deserve NONE of this **** when I myself have been through a lot to.

It's like I get a high when she feels bad and I make her feel good emotionally and sexually. Then some **** sparks it all over again and again ensues the vicious cycle.

 

[Julius_Seizeher]

Ride in on a white horse, ride out with a knife in your back.

 

[r0cky]

It would be funny and silly if you actually stopped seeing this girl because of the generalizations we make about father-daughter relationships.

 

[MyTeamSupreme]

Just to be clear the girl that I'm talking about has never met her father and doesn't have a good relationship with her mother. She see's her mother as insensitive and unemotional with a drinking problem. Whats funny is because of that she never touches alcohol herself but has an emotional wall up.

 

[tsmith2334]

^^^ Avoid at all costs.

As a child, we view our parents as the blueprint for future relationships and are strongly influenced by the opposite-sex parent in terms of attraction (multiple studies have proved this). A girl who comes from a broken household and has Daddy issues will have NO idea how to maintain a healthy relationship.

One of my most serious relationships was with a girl who hated her father (parents were a divorced, Dad cheated and was emotionally abusive) and dating her was the biggest headache ever.

She was a self-mutilator, had a physically abusive ex who she went BACK TO after we broke it off, she was on anti-depressants, etc. And that's just page one. She was one of the cutest girls I've ever dated but also the worst experience. The baggage and mind games I had to deal with were torture.

For comparison purposes, the girl I'm dating now is a daddy's girl and her parents are happily married.

She has SO much less baggage and it's so much easier to make her happy or just communicate with her. I also bare a striking physical resemblance to her father and I think that's part of the reason she likes me so much

In short, I've been on the both sides of this issue and it's like night and day. I'm telling you... stay away from any girl with daddy issues.

 

[MyTeamSupreme]

It would be funny and silly if you actually stopped seeing this girl because of the generalizations we make about father-daughter relationships.

it would be huh

 

[Julius_Seizeher]

Yes, because eHarmony guy said so

 

[boomerick]

BPD Waifs have a nose for Capt Sav-A-Ho White Knights. If you are one of these or even think you might be one of these look out. You'll instinctively think you can help/save/be strong for her. It'll work for a while then slowly things change. The drama you thought would only be temporary never seems to end. There's always new issues. Soon you will be the issue. She will fight or cheat or both. The background info you've given about your girl doesn't sound good at all. Does it mean she'll have issues? Who knows? You've asked this question for a reason though. If it were me I'd go slow and be VERY watchful for any wierdness. At the first uncomfortable exchange I'd next. That's what I would do.

 

[jophil28]

BPD Waifs have a nose for Capt Sav-A-Ho White Knights. If you are one of these or even think you might be one of these look out. You'll instinctively think you can help/save/be strong for her. It'll work for a while then slowly things change. The drama you thought would only be temporary never seems to end. There's always new issues. Soon you will be the issue. She will fight or cheat or both. The background info you've given about your girl doesn't sound good at all. Does it mean she'll have issues? Who knows? You've asked this question for a reason though. If it were me I'd go slow and be VERY watchful for any wierdness. At the first uncomfortable exchange I'd next. That's what I would do.

Yes, beware the "waif" or the "lost child" type of woman from a destuctive upbringing.

There are several threads on "daddy issues" on MM, read 'em before you get into a serious LTR.

 

[pikachu69]

What about a girl who's dad died when she was 8? is that the same as him abandoning her to an 8 year old?

She's really difficult to get close to, like noone seems to be able to get close to her except for me. She was the youngest sister of 3 sisters, her middle sister was the troublesome one most affected by the dad dying, the sister has been married once, now has a baby with not husband just a bf.

I get the impression my girl got less attention because of the disruptive older sister taking up her mothers attention and feels that because her parents already had 2 girls they wanted a boy. It's sad but that's how she feels. When she was 6 she tried to runaway from home.

 

[K2000kidd]

If you have the mental fortitude to deal with Borderline Personality and Bipolar disorders
buckle yr seatbelt and go for it. Please post back here when this blows up in your face

 

[ThatMysteriousGuy]

Basically I'm looking for the dangers of dating a girl that has a bad relationship with her father or has never met him. Please and thank you

The danger of not dating a girl with parent issues is that you'll not be dating at least 4/5th of the women.

Just to be clear the girl that I'm talking about has never met her father and doesn't have a good relationship with her mother. She see's her mother as insensitive and unemotional with a drinking problem. Whats funny is because of that she never touches alcohol herself but has an emotional wall up

The biggest issue with this girl is you're already trying to be her girlfriend/therapist so it's not going to work out anyway.
You're more of a problem at this point than her.

Be a man, not a girlfriend/therapist/priest.

 

[Badmannaz]

i dated a girl who had never met her father and was raised by her schizophrenic sister....i find out secretly she was a stripper...and by far the most mental agony i've ever experienced in any type of relationship ADVICE: stay far far far away from women with no relationship with there fathers or no strong male role model she grew up with.....she WILL be no GOOD...SHE IS DAMAGED....AND THE BIGGEST ANDVICE OF ALL..YOU CANT DO ANYTHING TO FIX IT...

 

[MyTeamSupreme]

If you have the mental fortitude to deal with Borderline Personality and Bipolar disorders
buckle yr seatbelt and go for it. Please post back here when this blows up in your face

i didnt say anything about a mental disorder brotha

 

[ThatMysteriousGuy]

i didnt say anything about a mental disorder brotha

You were extremely vague.

It's like saying "what do you do about women with issues regarding drinking" and then later you say "I didn't mention alcohol, it's just that she's clumsy and spills Pepsi on herself".

Be more clear with questions and you'll get better answers.

 

[guywhoneedshelp]

Basically I'm looking for the dangers of dating a girl that has a bad relationship with her father or has never met him. Please and thank you

http://www.extremebumming.com/Leykis-2007-06-18_Hr4-ChicksWithDaddyIssues.mp3

 

[marryjohn]

Interesting that you still affirm your love for them, when they don't seem to love you for you as a whole person.

My father was much like this, as was/is his son. I don't like either of them, and without like, love isn't gonna happen. Their choice, my reality.

 

[MyTeamSupreme]

You were extremely vague.

It's like saying "what do you do about women with issues regarding drinking" and then later you say "I didn't mention alcohol, it's just that she's clumsy and spills Pepsi on herself".

Be more clear with questions and you'll get better answers.

i guess assuming instead of asking is the best way to handle such a situation