Can 40-something harridans play the "no poontang for a while" game?

[MatureDJ]

I was reading this, and it got me interested:

My Friend Is Dating Again. She Clearly Never Learned the First Rule of Sleeping With Men.

I sound like a '90s sitcom character saying this, but it's true.

slate.com

One of my closest friends (both 40, straight ladies) got divorced two years ago. She slept around a bit after, and frankly, good for her.

The problem is, she’s started looking for relationships with guys, but she sleeps with them on the first date. I’ve been married for a decade so I’m definitely out of the field, but guys … don’t usually take a woman seriously after sleeping with her this early, right? I don’t know how to characterize this without sounding like I’m slut-shaming. I don’t care if she wants to sleep with a meh guy because he’s kinda hot and she’s bored. But when she flirts for weeks with a guy who is close to her kids, and they sleep together on the first date, and he immediately backs off, she’s devastated.

I've never dated an older chick like this, but I'm pretty much of the opinion that if somehow she doesn't come out dressed in a bathrobe at the end of the night, I've completely lost interest.

 

[Who Dares Win]

Her problem is not that she sleeps with guys too fast, her problem is that she is 40 and no man below 50 would consider her for a serious relationship...also just like women can tell a fvck boy from a virgin, also men can tell a madonna from a who and her sleeping around can be smelt on her.

She is probably "dating" younger guys and above her league which are fine with her as long as the fun doesnt cost too much investment.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

Give her a little time and she'll have an OLD profile of sexy pics in skimpy clothing along with a bio text screaming "NO HOOKUPS" and a laundry list of dealbreakers, and eyes that do not smile.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I mean sure they can, but hasn't been my experience...I've banged plenty of good looking chicks in their Late 30s and early 40s and most are ready to go for sex within the first 2-3 dates.

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

Only with guys of low value

 

[SW15]

Her problem is not that she sleeps with guys too fast, her problem is that she is 40 and no man below 50 would consider her for a serious relationship...also just like women can tell a fvck boy from a virgin, also men can tell a madonna from a who and her sleeping around can be smelt on her.

Only partially correct. Most men in their 40s are beta males who are settling with mediocre women close to their own age. A 40 year old woman can find a 40-45 year old man who will commit to them. He won't be a top tier 40-45 year old male.

I think men can tell the difference between a promiscuous woman and a lesser promiscuous woman. However, most men operate from a scarcity mentality and will settle with a promiscuous woman if they don't perceive that they can do any better.

That 40 year old in question also has kids, which reduces her value. However, plenty of beta males in the 35-50 age range end up in a committed LTR with a single mom.

She is probably "dating" younger guys and above her league which are fine with her as long as the fun doesnt cost too much investment.

This sounds about right.

I mean sure they can, but hasn't been my experience...I've banged plenty of good looking chicks in their Late 30s and early 40s and most are ready to go for sex within the first 2-3 dates.

Women dictate the terms of sex. There are women who won't rush to have sex with a man, even if they are 40 something single women. These women can often find a man. Male thirst/desperation is quite high right now and has been for the past 10-20 years. Men will put up with a lot to get the vag.

I've never gone longer than 5 dates without sex. By the fifth date, we've either had sex or realized that we were right for each other. This often happens by the third date.

 

[RickTheToad]

Only partially correct. Most men in their 40s are beta males who are settling with mediocre women close to their own age. A 40 year old woman can find a 40-45 year old man who will commit to them. He won't be a top tier 40-45 year old male.

I think men can tell the difference between a promiscuous woman and a lesser promiscuous woman. However, most men operate from a scarcity mentality and will settle with a promiscuous woman if they don't perceive that they can do any better.

That 40 year old in question also has kids, which reduces her value. However, plenty of beta males in the 35-50 age range end up in a committed LTR with a single mom.



This sounds about right.



Women dictate the terms of sex. There are women who won't rush to have sex with a man, even if they are 40 something single women. These women can often find a man. Male thirst/desperation is quite high right now and has been for the past 10-20 years. Men will put up with a lot to get the vag.

I've never gone longer than 5 dates without sex. By the fifth date, we've either had sex or realized that we were right for each other. This often happens by the third date.

Every dude, married, LTR or STR needs to keep his b!tch in line or leave. If there's never a threat of the dude leaving or not being the best he can be in life, then he will have issues in any relationship. Kill or be killed mentality. As for the male thirst, yea I see it, but I always wondered why. Even during a dry spell, I never had this thirst. Really couldn't care less. She said no, okay, no problem, on to the next.. Strange how many dudes act these days...

 

[Hal9000]

I've slept with women on the first date and never followed up with them. Not because we slept together but because they were either bat $hit crazy or annoying as he!!. Does that stop me from banging? Not even close. But it does stop me from wanting to ever be in the same room with them again.

You see, the reason men hit the road after a first date hookup isn't because of the sex, its because women who will screw a guy they've known for only a couple of hours usually have a whole bunch of other stuff wrong with them as well and who wants to stick around to deal with that?

 

[Modern Man Advice]

Let's be honest here if she is willing to sleep with you on the first date, she probably has been willing to with other guys as well. Do you really want to commit to a woman like this? No. For as much as we would like first-date sex, we know that a "keeper" isn't on such wavelengths.


Modern Man Advice

 

[Barrister]

If she’s attractive she can definitely find someone her own age or older to be in a relationship with. If she’s “devastated” because she is sleeping on date 1 with a 25-35 year old guy and he doesn’t see her as LTR material then that is on her. It’s completely unrealistic unless the guy has zero prospects.

 

[Barrister]

Let's be honest here if she is willing to sleep with you on the first date, she probably has been willing to with other guys as well. Do you really want to commit to a woman like this? No. For as much as we would like first-date sex, we know that a "keeper" isn't on such wavelengths.


Modern Man Advice

Agreed. In fact, if she puts out on Date 1 I subconsciously rule her out automatically for a LTR. My mind does this on its own.

 

[SW15]

How much difference is there between sex on date 1 and sex on date 3?

 

[RickTheToad]

How much difference is there between sex on date 1 and sex on date 3?

They say 1st date sex is only for hook-ups and nothing else. These days, not sure it matters. Many females are DTF pretty quickly.

 

[zinc4]

I was reading this, and it got me interested:

My Friend Is Dating Again. She Clearly Never Learned the First Rule of Sleeping With Men.

I sound like a '90s sitcom character saying this, but it's true.

slate.com

I've never dated an older chick like this, but I'm pretty much of the opinion that if somehow she doesn't come out dressed in a bathrobe at the end of the night, I've completely lost interest.

This guy just lost his man card by saying he is not slut shaming. Why have western men become so weak and pathetic in the way they view/treat women? Sloots should be talked down to and treated accordingly as should fatties.

It would be like like a woman saying i am not poor man shaming. Imagine that.

Edit: I just saw it was a woman who wrote in. My mistake.

 

[Zimbabwe]

Women are naturally picky but now they are much more so and many are looking for a guy who completely blows them away, a guy who might only statistically exist in 5 of 1000 men. Tall, good looking, great job, well travelled, interesting, funny and charming. If he doesn’t come into her life she is happy to stay single, enjoy casual sex with hot guys (freely available through dating apps) every so often and focus on other things.