Calling a woman out

[BackInTheGame78]

If we, as a third party, see his ego and insecurities,, wouldn’t the matchmaker, who is also a third party, see it as well?

The girl probably wanted to make things weird for everyone, but her social skills are higher than OPs.

The matchmaker and this girl will be the making OP the butt of an inside joke for years to come if he goes thru with this.

 

[Sega Genesis]

But at least now she can’t go to the person who set us up and say “BadBioy was in love with me and made a pass at me...

Is this^ what happened?

In your original post you said:

"Went out a woman, she looked ok but not really my type. At the end of the date she said "nice meeting you, talk soon." I said "take care."

When did you make a pass?

Imo, what you wrote clearly suggests there was nothing happening for either one of you, as such to repeat my earlier post, her message announcing she felt no "romantic connection" was presumptuous and unnecessary.

She was assuming interest and attraction (from you) that wasn't there! Basically assuming you gave a shyt. Which clearly you did not as demonstrated by how you ended the date. Which was arrogant and entitled and I'm a woman saying this! No matter how beautiful she is or how many men are chasing her..

i would never send such a message unless and until a man demonstrated HIS interest first. Which from what you posted, you did not.

Why am I the only one seeing this?

She did you a favor? I call complete BS on that, you gave NO indication YOU had any intention of chasing her or that you even liked her!

So what favor did she do you? None. It wasn't necessary.

When there is no mutual chemistry/attraction, you simply move on to the next, humbly and quietly, nothing needs to be said. It was ONE meet/date for goodness sake.

That said, again your message two weeks later indicated you were butt hurt, ego bruised. It's the exact opposite of what you're thinking or were intending by sending it.

Learn to be indifferent to the BS, you'll be a lot happier I promise you.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Is this^ what happened?

In your original post you said:

"Went out a woman, she looked ok but not really my type. At the end of the date she said "nice meeting you, talk soon." I said "take care."

When did you make a pass?

Imo, what you wrote clearly suggests there was nothing happening for either one of you, as such to repeat my earlier post, her message announcing she felt no "romantic connection" was presumptuous and unnecessary.

She was assuming interest and attraction (from you) that wasn't there! Which is arrogant and entitled and I'm a woman saying this!

i would never send such a message unless and until a man demonstrated HIS interest first.

Why am I the only one seeing this?

She did you a favor? I call complete BS on that, you gave NO indication YOU had any intention of chasing her or that you even liked her!

So what favor did she do you? None. It wasn't necessary, when there is no mutual chemistry you simply ghost each other, nothing needs to be said.

That said, again your message two weeks later indicated you were butt hurt, ego bruised.

Learn to be indifferent to the BS, you'll be a lot happier I promise you.

And a lot more successful with women as well. This type of stuff doesn't happen in a vacuum, it extends to all other interactions with women too.

 

[BadBoy89]

When did you make a pass?

Imo, what you wrote clearly suggests there was nothing happening for either one of you, as such to repeat my earlier post, her message announcing she felt no "romantic connection" was presumptuous and unnecessary.

My man.

She was assuming interest and attraction (from you) that wasn't there! Basically assuming you gave a shyt. Which clearly you did not as demonstrated by how you ended the date. Which was arrogant and entitled and I'm a woman saying this! No matter how beautiful she is or how many men are chasing her..

Oh ok. My woman.

i would never send such a message unless and until a man demonstrated HIS interest first. Which from what you posted, you did not.

Why am I the only one seeing this?

Again my woman.

She did you a favor? I call complete BS on that, you gave NO indication YOU had any intention of chasing her or that you even liked her!

So what favor did she do you? None. It wasn't necessary.

When there is no mutual chemistry/attraction, you simply move on to the next, humbly and quietly, nothing needs to be said. It was ONE meet/date for goodness sake.

Again my woman.

That said, again your message two weeks later indicated you were butt hurt, ego bruised. It's the exact opposite of what you're thinking or were intending by sending it.

You could look at it that way. But I was like "no, if she tell someone I made a pass, I have to have evidence I didn't"

Learn to be indifferent to the BS, you'll be a lot happier I promise you.

Exactly.

 

[Solomon]

OP I use to be just like you, get upset when women would reject me or whatever
My ego was fragile. All the way up until my mid30's. I realize now you can only call women out who are invested in you. Even if a woman sleeps with you and ghosts and flakes on you it doesn't mean shyt to some of them in 2025 compared to 20 years ago. We live in a culture where flaking, and ghosting for example have become the norm. Heck you got men doing it to other men (guy friends, which I find bizarre)

In that situation you responded two weeks later out of ego, once again I have done stuff like this as well If you had taken the 2 weeks to find and spin other plates this woman would not have been on your mind. I remember last summer I sort of went hard at plate spinning again and it's true when you have options when a woman rejects/flakes you, you don't even care. Scarcity breeds desperation, desperation breeds fragility. Aboundance kills those things, cause you have options!

 

[The Duke]

OP I use to be just like you, get upset when women would reject me or whatever
My ego was fragile. All the way up until my mid30's. I realize now you can only call women out who are invested in you. Even if a woman sleeps with you and ghosts and flakes on you it doesn't mean shyt to some of them in 2025 compared to 20 years ago. We live in a culture where flaking, and ghosting for example have become the norm. Heck you got men doing it to other men (guy friends, which I find bizarre)

In that situation you responded two weeks later out of ego, once again I have done stuff like this as well If you had taken the 2 weeks to find and spin other plates this woman would not have been on your mind. I remember last summer I sort of went hard at plate spinning again and it's true when you have options when a woman rejects/flakes you, you don't even care. Scarcity breeds desperation, desperation breeds fragility. Aboundance kills those things, cause you have options!

And when you rise to the next level, you won't need an abundance mindset to protect your ego. You'll feel you are solid with or without these things you feel you need to have. It won't define you anymore.

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

Went out a woman, she looked ok but not really my type. At the end of the date she said "nice meeting you, talk soon." I said "take care" Came home. About 2 hours later, she texts "Hi Badboy, thanks for coffee, just wanted to say didn't feel romantic connection. Good luck in your search."

Mode One would have prevented the time wasted.

No dates before play.

 

[BadBoy89]

• if a waiter assumes I can't lift the heavy tray, 'I challenge him to an arm wrestling match.
• If my coworker assumes I don't know how to juggle, I'll start juggling pens in front of them.
• If my mother assumes I can't microwave popcorn, I'll show her a slow-motion tutorial on how it's done.

Your analogies are not the same situation. They are "If someone assumes I can't do something, I will prove them wrong."

I hope you know how over-the-top and dramatic all of this sounds. Maybe you're just reacting to feeling misunderstood, but confronting every tiny assumption like the date assumption makes it seem like yo looking for a fight instead of resolving anything.

This isn't a tiny assumption. This a woman saying "I'm not romantically interested" when I never said I was.

It's funny, in this situation, when a woman makes an assumption, Sosuave says "you are too sensitive, you are too butthurt, your ego got smashed, your a child, you are 12, "laugh it off and go fu-- other girls", you have scarcity"

In my other situation, when a woman says "we can go out as friends" Sosuave says "don't laugh it off, take it very seriously, its a mood killer"

I'm the opposite.

If a woman makes an assumption, I say don't laugh it off, take it very seriously, its a mood killer. But if a woman says "we can go out friends", laugh it off, brush your ego aside, take it easy, its all good"

 

[Gamisch]

Your analogies are not the same situation. They are "If someone assumes I can't do something, I will prove them wrong."



This isn't a tiny assumption. This a woman saying "I'm not romantically interested" when I never said I was.

It's funny, in this situation, when a woman makes an assumption, Sosuave says "you are too sensitive, you are too butthurt, your ego got smashed, your a child, you are 12, "laugh it off and go fu-- other girls", you have scarcity"

In my other situation, when a woman says "we can go out as friends" Sosuave says "don't laugh it off, take it very seriously, its a mood killer"

I'm the opposite.

If a woman makes an assumption, I say don't laugh it off, take it very seriously, its a mood killer. But if a woman says "we can go out friends", laugh it off, brush your ego aside, take it easy, its all good"

Bruh...

Why da HELL would you revive such a painful thread, one year later?

Like..let it go! This is the exact same thing you did ( coming back way too late to send a message) but instead of two weeks now its almost TWO years!!!

You just felt like responding now? What's u?

 

[quodlibet]

If your date says "I'm not not feeling it" after the date, the best reply is, "Thanks for letting me know, I still had a great time".

THAT'S IT. Think about it logically...

If you give her a smart-ass remark as if you're butt-hurt, there is ZERO PERCENT chance she'll come around.

But if you take it with some grace, she might think, "damn, he's so cool about it, must have a lot of chicks in his life". That gets her intrigued. If anything, you not being affected seems like a rejection to her.

Granted, by being graceful, the odds of her coming around might only be 10% to 20%. But that's better than 0%. You just have to play the odds.

 

[Doctor Europeo]

@BadBoy89 I'm genuinely curious: Is there is a particular reason you revived the thread and even quoted another member after more than a year?

 

[zekko]

Now I'm not a player who sleeps with hundreds of girls, but my main point is this: if a woman assumes something about you, you have to, HAVE TO, HAVE TO hit them back.

Under this circumstance, I think no response would have been fine. But I have no problem with your message either. You could have also said "Completely agree. Good luck". Would have been better without the two week wait, but eh she's not a target, so it doesn't really matter.

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

Alot of this site keeps saying "walk away, be smooth, girls are silly, don't take it seriously."

I think this is horrible advice that only applies to some circumstances, namely the initial talking stages and first few dates. The move is to first communicate what she did that upset you, and pair it with the imminent threat that you will walk away if she doesn't correct course.

This is even more paramount in the context of getting any disrespect from a girl you're in an LTR with or actively dating, where I believe feining indifference/keeping the peace is a simp move. You are supposed to nip it in the bud, calmly, and tell her that her behavior upsets you, and if she pushes back or doesn't change, you leave her permanently and never talk to her again. That's simply communicating and setting a boundary. Doing nothing, being passive, and pretending you don't care only enables further disrespect and shows her that you have no spine or self-respect.

if a woman assumes something about you, you have to, HAVE TO, HAVE TO hit them back.

This is NOT where you apply this. If you go on a 1st date with a girl and she communicates disinterest/low interest, no matter how she does it, no matter how c*nty it is, the only move is to never talk to her again. There is NO point in "hitting back" in this context. You're just playing into her game.

Now, there ARE times in the early stages where I will call women out on her BS and willingly take the L, but I only do this if they're at least displaying some level of interest. If they're flat out NOT interested at all, I immediately walk away. But say we've been on 1 or 2 dates and already banged, then then say or do something retarded, you betcha I'm gonna call her out even if it means potentially losing out on her. Too many guys are so desperate and thirsty they'll say whatever they need to get into her pants, and all this does is create a sea of delusion in women who believe in their own horse**** because they've never been disagreed with or told no.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I've probably made a thread like this before, but anyway here we go.

If a girl assumes something about you, you have to hit her back. Alot of this site keeps saying "walk away, be smooth, girls are silly, don't take it seriously." Well, I somewhat listened to that advice during my last date, and it messed me up. Usually I'm quick to reply, but this time I didn't for a while.

Went out a woman, she looked ok but not really my type. At the end of the date she said "nice meeting you, talk soon." I said "take care" Came home. About 2 hours later, she texts "Hi Badboy, thanks for coffee, just wanted to say didn't feel romantic connection. Good luck in your search."

Now because this site, the players who sleep with girls with their eyes closed in 10 min of meeting them, teaches to "walk away, be smooth" I didn't respond.
But it bugged she assumed that I felt something.

So today, I almost 2 weeks after the date, I exploded inside. I texted back "Hi xyz, I just got your message. I don't remember saying I felt a romantic spark. Good luck in your search," Oh man it felt good.

Now if I said "Hi xyz, I enjoyed our date, lets do it again" and she said that, OK ,no problem. But when I don't say anything and a woman assumes, IT'S ON.

Now I'm not a player who sleeps with hundreds of girls, but my main point is this: if a woman assumes something about you, you have to, HAVE TO, HAVE TO hit them back.

She wasn't interested. You are doing a lot of mental gymnastics in this one.

 

[CornbreadFed]

It’s impossible

 

[BadBoy89]

This is NOT where you apply this. If you go on a 1st date with a girl and she communicates disinterest/low interest, no matter how she does it, no matter how c*nty it is, the only move is to never talk to her again. There is NO point in "hitting back" in this context. You're just playing into her game.

This is where I disagree with Sosuave.

When a woman goes out of her way to say not interested, the man HAS to respond. Now if the man asks her out again, THEN she can say "not interested, go to hell, don't ever touch me, etc." That's 100% ok because the man asked her out again.

But when man hasn't said anything and the woman takes time out of her day to write a text saying "not romantically interested" when the man hasn't said anything, he HAS to respond. 100%.

This teaching by Sosuave to walk away in this situation is a weak mindset. Very Beta thinking.

 

[Sega Genesis]

But when man hasn't said anything and the woman takes time out of her day to write a text saying "not romantically interested" when the man hasn't said anything, he HAS to respond. 100%.

@BadBoy89 as I said last year I do agree it was a bit presumptuous for her to presume you GAF to even receive a message like that since clearly neither of you felt any click or chemistry on the date.

Again when two people meet and there is NO click/chemistry there is NO need for either of you to say anything! It's a next for both of you. When saying goodbye simply say "it was nice meeting you" to be polite - Ciao. That's it.

However since SHE did and you're bothered by her presumption, and feel you must respond, respond immediately and say "Tnx. Nor did I, good luck with your search as well."

Be cool about it! There is NO need to "explode" (your word). Lol. Especially two weeks later! Like really man?

My guess is she chuckled knowing her message bothered you SO much, you were still thinking about it two weeks later!

Which in all likelihood had the opposite effect of what you were hoping to accomplish.

 

[Clockwerk50]

@BadBoy89 I'm genuinely curious: Is there is a particular reason you revived the thread and even quoted another member after more than a year?

I am just catching stray bullets for no reason lol

 

[BadBoy89]

@BadBoy89 as I said last year I do agree it was a bit presumptuous for her to presume you GAF to even receive a message like that since clearly neither of you felt any click or chemistry on the date.

Again when two people meet and there is NO click/chemistry there is NO need for either of you to say anything! It's a next for both of you. When saying goodbye simply say "it was nice meeting you" to be polite - Ciao. That's it.

100% agree.

However since SHE did and you're bothered by her presumptuous, and feel you must respond, respond immediately and say "Tnx. Nor did I, good luck with your search as well."

I would agree IF I asked her out again. Since I didn't' ask her out again, she cannot go out of her way to tell me that. By her going out of her to text me, there is an agenda there, there is motive.

I feel like every guy on Sosuave is a 6'1 Alpha dog who sleeps with a girl in 5 min of meeting her.

Be cool about it! There is NO need to "explode" (your word). Lol. Especially two weeks later! Like really man?

I shouldn't have said "explode", I should have said it was a relief to send the text out.

My guess is she chuckled knowing her message bothered you SO much, you were still thinking about it two weeks later!

Which in all likelihood had the opposite effect of what you were hoping to accomplish.

I also texted her "sorry I just for your message."

She may have chuckled or she may have been sleeping with another guy at the time. At least I corrected her assumption.

 

[BadBoy89]

I am just catching stray bullets for no reason lol

Or yours was the most thoughtful and insightful response that had to be replied to.