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Calling a girl out on flaking: DO or DON'T?

Lookatu

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Another thing to do is to setup an evening that they REALLY want to do. Such as shopping at Nordstroms, and a Fogo De Chau dinner. Have them show up, but never go. That will teach them.
Damn, although I've never done this before, I definitely have witnessed something like this when I was on a date with someone. I would see a single gal sitting by herself, checking her phone and she would literally be waiting there for like 15-30min with a sad face. LOL
I definitely knew what was up. Even better if the girl has to travel far or uber it somewhere.

I guess Karma doesn't let me do those things though...
 

mrgoodstuff

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Damn, although I've never done this before, I definitely have witnessed something like this when I was on a date with someone. I would see a single gal sitting by herself, checking her phone and she would literally be waiting there for like 15-30min with a sad face. LOL
I definitely knew what was up. Even better if the girl has to travel far or uber it somewhere.

I guess Karma doesn't let me do those things though...
You must be lazy. Kharma is implemented by PEOPLE. Someone isn't always going to get the person that did you dirty back for you, you have to take responsibility to enact consequences.

Her kharma for blowing you off, wasting your time and having you setup a nice set of events is something just like I discussed.

If you don't do it perhaps a stronger more game aware guy will do it for you. Wouldn't you rather be that guy?
 

skinnyguy

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This is why I usually try to have a backup and a backup of a backup. You know that women are spinning plates, the only way to deal with it is to have your own. If a woman schedules a date with you and then Chad or Tyrone hits her up, you know what’s going to happen. Calling her out on it makes you look butt hurt. If you have enough abundance, a flake won’t affect you.
 

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Georgepithyou

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This is why I usually try to have a backup and a backup of a backup. You know that women are spinning plates, the only way to deal with it is to have your own. If a woman schedules a date with you and then Chad or Tyrone hits her up, you know what’s going to happen. Calling her out on it makes you look butt hurt. If you have enough abundance, a flake won’t affect you.
Very true honestly, i don't fully trust girls until at least a year into the relationship minimum, until then I don't even consider them to be my Girlfriend.

Until she can prove her worth, I don't trust her. I'm about to break it off with my current Girlfriend since we just want different things in life
 

Lookatu

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You must be lazy.
Lol, not lazy but just not worth my time. I just move on as there are way too many gals out there. Sometimes silence or inaction is the best thing. It keeps their hamster wheel spinning as to why they couldn't invoke some kind of reaction that they normally see from butthurt guys.
 

Lookatu

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This is why I usually try to have a backup and a backup of a backup. You know that women are spinning plates, the only way to deal with it is to have your own. If a woman schedules a date with you and then Chad or Tyrone hits her up, you know what’s going to happen. Calling her out on it makes you look butt hurt. If you have enough abundance, a flake won’t affect you.
Exactly. My rule is the younger they are, the more backups you need because the flaking becomes exponentially higher.
 

stormrider

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The last time I flaked on a woman, she texted me at 2am "Have a nice night" and then ghosted me. I knew what she meant. I could feel her vibe. Women are not idiots. You don't have to literally spell everything out to them. Most social interactions are implicit, and not explicit.

If she had called me out on flaking, it wouldn't have changed anything. I just didn't value the chance to meet her vs what I was already doing. Hence, her text was completely moot. Ghosting would have suffice.

If anything, calling people out just gives you away as over-valuing them while not receiving the same value in return.

Real people just dismiss.
 

mikey2012

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No. Don’t waste your time. Move on to the next one. Exception is If she flakes and makes new arrangements. Be with someone who wants to be with you.
 

stringpuller

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Hey guys,

Let's suppose a girl flakes on you, e.g. tells you she'll call you when she gets back from some event so you can meet up, and then doesn't. When you next chat with or see the girl, do you call her out on this or not?

My usual way to react to this is to just ignore it, even if her flaking inconvenienced me. In my AFC frame of mind, I'm so happy I'm getting to see her again that I don't care that she flaked last time. More recently, I just don't want to come across as really caring that she flaked.

However, I'm wondering if there's a better way to deal with flaking. Should I immediately make some comment? Make some comment when I next hear from/see her?

Cheers,
d0g
To me. Its situational. More guys will tell you to ignore it but if we are talking a cutie she is used to guys brushing her shytty behavior under the carpet. Over and over the lap dogs prance.

Sometimes it requires viking mode.
" listen bytch my time is valuable to me and you obviously dont respect my time so you can go fck yourself"

Ive gotten to this point before. And it actually felt good saying it. Beware of becoming a simpy pushover and dont be afraid to kick her to the curb. Give respect were its due. Make her earn your trust and appreciation.

Dont be afraid to be a dik to a self entitled kunt but if she genuinely fcks up then play it cool. You should know when your being played. Or lets hope so.
 

stringpuller

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Some guys are done with them right then and there. Word of that type of behavior will get around. "I tried to stretch Mike out on the date, because I really wanted to see my ex, but Mike bounced and never came back".

Another thing to do is to setup an evening that they REALLY want to do. Such as shopping at Nordstroms, and a Fogo De Chau dinner. Have them show up, but never go. That will teach them.
Viking mode lol
 

Tilex

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Calling her out? Like saying why did you flake on me?
No, that's feminine as hell!
Asking her where she was or who she was with just makes you look more pathetic.

However, there's nothing wrong with treating her like another guy.
Once she crosses the wrong boundaries, all bets are off.
Just tell her to go f*ck herself if she doesn't value your time.
I wouldn't even contact her anymore to be honest.
 
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TheGambino

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Best way is to say "ok," try one more time, and if she flakes again just delete her number. If you really want to call her out you can, but I have NEVER, EVER, EVER had a girl actually "fess up" and say "ok, I've been flaking on you/blowing you off because I'm not interested." Most will just stick with their lie/excuse, say "ok, whatever" and disregard you.
This and you dont need to know more.
 

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Dash Riprock

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Mainly for the guys on this site:

Flaking, by a man (or moreso "boy" as men actually DO what they say they'll do) is rude, immature, and frankly pathetic. It's not cute, funny, or "cool." It's even worse when men do it as it wreaks of female behavior, irresponsibility, and weakness - like their balls never dropped. Still p*issing with the puppies and not s*hitting with the big dogs. Maybe they'll grow up, maybe they won't.

Is it REALLY that f*ucking hard to send a quick text saying you or she can't make the date? You don't even need to provide an excuse or reason. Honestly, people (boys and girls) who do this don't value someone else's time which means they don't value theirs either which means they're s*hitty at managing their life and affairs.

DJs and MEN do what they say they are going to do--period. If you can't make it or changed your mind, be a man and say so.
 

stringpuller

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Mainly for the guys on this site:

Flaking, by a man (or moreso "boy" as men actually DO what they say they'll do) is rude, immature, and frankly pathetic. It's not cute, funny, or "cool." It's even worse when men do it as it wreaks of female behavior, irresponsibility, and weakness - like their balls never dropped. Still p*issing with the puppies and not s*hitting with the big dogs. Maybe they'll grow up, maybe they won't.

Is it REALLY that f*ucking hard to send a quick text saying you or she can't make the date? You don't even need to provide an excuse or reason. Honestly, people (boys and girls) who do this don't value someone else's time which means they don't value theirs either which means they're s*hitty at managing their life and affairs.

DJs and MEN do what they say they are going to do--period. If you can't make it or changed your mind, be a man and say so.
Sounds like You must have been burned a few times. It happens. But when people are fcking with your time your right its not cool. I used to not miss an opportunity to stand the bytch up when she is showing these flaking clues.
It was actually fcking funny.

If you think shes crying over flaking on you its not usually the case. She is probably having a good laugh with her friends.
Blowing s chic off is not female behavior. Freaking out is. Tell them too fck off in one way or another.
Staying on the string is simpy.
 

Barrister

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Just move on. Especially in the OLD settings it happens to literally all of us. Females can't help their brain chemistry. They are naturally afraid to deal with confrontation which is what will happen if they actually messaged/texted you to say "hey I am not going to be able to meet you Thursday night because I actually made plans after we did with a guy I think is better looking/more successful than you are" (what she perceives as higher SMV). Instead, they will just "forget" (or ghost completely).

If it happens, no sweat. There are plenty of women out there. On to the next.
 

Lookatu

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Just move on. Especially in the OLD settings it happens to literally all of us. Females can't help their brain chemistry. They are naturally afraid to deal with confrontation which is what will happen if they actually messaged/texted you to say "hey I am not going to be able to meet you Thursday night because I actually made plans after we did with a guy I think is better looking/more successful than you are" (what she perceives as higher SMV). Instead, they will just "forget" (or ghost completely).

If it happens, no sweat. There are plenty of women out there. On to the next.
Ding Ding. Bolded from above on what's messed up between the sexes.

There's tons of examples and stories/situations on this. Like guys that think a first date went well and then all of a sudden no response or ghosting by the gal. It's because on first dates, gals are too afraid of confrontation and will say and sometimes do things to avoid it. Like if you lean in and kiss a gal and think she's digging you, think again. She could be interested in you or could just be going with the kiss as to avoid any confrontation instead of pushing you off or saying anything.

Another example is why some women get paid less than the guys but then complain about it or get backed by the Feminists out there. They are too afraid to ask for a raise to avoid confrontation.

I'm sure you guys have other examples
 

Dash Riprock

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Sounds like You must have been burned a few times. It happens. But when people are fcking with your time your right its not cool. I used to not miss an opportunity to stand the bytch up when she is showing these flaking clues.
It was actually fcking funny.

If you think shes crying over flaking on you its not usually the case. She is probably having a good laugh with her friends.
Blowing s chic off is not female behavior. Freaking out is. Tell them too fck off in one way or another.
Staying on the string is simpy.
My post was mainly for the guys on this site, that it's immature, womanly, and irresponsible to knowingly flake.

The last time I was flaked on was about 3.5 years ago when I was getting back into dating after a 9-year LTR.

Good story:

I dated this woman, 33 at the time, cute, good body, veterinarian too. And she lived close to me. Checked most boxes. We had maybe 8-9 dates. As we were dating the entire time, she had this horrible cough, so I limited my physical contact with her. One night she stays over, we were set to **** after watching a movie, and she starts coughing horribly again. We messed around, I may have gotten a BJ, but we didn't f*uck as her cough was too bad and a turn-off. We're having breakfast the next morning and she says she has a first Match.com date in a few hours. I kind of gave her a look like, "Why the F did you just say that." That's when I started to realize the dating landscape had changed big-time in 9 years. This chick was dating multiple guys--and making it known. Hey, it was within her right to do that. But I'm a very busy guy and frankly just don’t have the bandwidth (or patience actually) to play the dating merry go round with more than a couple chicks at a time. Ironically, she calls a few hours later saying the date was off asking me if I wanted to hang out. I said I was busy. I don't play backup QB to anyone. So things fizzle a few weeks later, I cancelled a date kind of tired of her date-site hopping and other BS.

A couple months later, things rekindle. Can't remember how. I think she reached out. So we set a day/time/place to meet for drinks. I thought maybe she realized her dating merry go round plan was stupid low-percentage so she was circling back to her best option, Dash RR. I pick a place close and that I like, so nothing to lose. It gets to be about 15 minutes past when she's supposed to be there, and she's not, so I call her. She’s out for a walk with her mom and dad somewhere. I say we were supposed to meet and I'm here waiting. She says, 100% true: "You didn't text or call to confirm so I figured you changed your mind." I'm like, "We just confirmed 2 days ago. If there was a question, why didn't YOU reach out?" She says, "Well, I guess I'm the ass*hole then." I just hung up. A 33 year old woman with more education than a human doctor and she can’t keep a date she agreed to. I did have some good whiskey and dinner so not a total loss. She reached out about a year and a half ago via text. I never replied.

I do always confirm dates now as my time is extremely valuable. No confirmation from her = NO DATE from me.
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