But... She never dreamed about being a Wife

[Von]

The problem with relationships ? Too many people

Old timers (1950) had education about being a good wife, books about taking care of the guy, raising the kids etc... (newspapers would have article, some are on facebook)

People want all the good stuff without thinking about the ''sacrifice'' and the ''challenges'' (or the process)

They put the end before the path.

As things and life became easier... people got ''lazier'' in that aspect.

When I talk with old folks or I see them... they all talk about ''commitment'' ''sacrifice'' ''sense of duty''... They were raised with that and socially pressured into it.

Did they love it? Probably not more than we would.... but they had no choice and understood that...

Exemple: They probably didn't like having 10 kids in the house making non-stop noise... but would they complain? No, because it was ''common'' ''the norm''
Now, people complain when 1 baby makes noise in a waiting room at the hospital and the parents feel sorry and have to ''apologize''

Or why our parents had an attention span of 10 minutes... while my generations is under 30 seconds.

Alot of the ''old'' should be brought back however I believe society took over nature (I remember my parents telling me to finish my plate fully cause we might someday not have food on the table, or Bananas/strawberry not being accessible for 6 months at the groceries due to winter). Simple disease being ''life threatening''

So life became easier, society made nature ''weaker''.... the End started being the central image and the ''path'' became an after thought. We all know the path is 99% of the job.

Me: I am astonished about how many 25-30 years old are getting married after not even 1 year of dating and having kids. I understand the ''biological clock'', they probably had a couple of sexual encounters, they know what they want in a partner.... but they don't even wait to know the persons before jumping in the wedding.

 

[marmel75]

So if she's cumming and falling asleep right away every night after you hit it, that would be considered good?

Yeah, definitely not a bad thing, lol

 

[mrgoodstuff]

The problem with relationships ? Too many people

Old timers (1950) had education about being a good wife, books about taking care of the guy, raising the kids etc... (newspapers would have article, some are on facebook)

People want all the good stuff without thinking about the ''sacrifice'' and the ''challenges'' (or the process)

They put the end before the path.

As things and life became easier... people got ''lazier'' in that aspect.

When I talk with old folks or I see them... they all talk about ''commitment'' ''sacrifice'' ''sense of duty''... They were raised with that and socially pressured into it.

Did they love it? Probably not more than we would.... but they had no choice and understood that...

Exemple: They probably didn't like having 10 kids in the house making non-stop noise... but would they complain? No, because it was ''common'' ''the norm''
Now, people complain when 1 baby makes noise in a waiting room at the hospital and the parents feel sorry and have to ''apologize''

Or why our parents had an attention span of 10 minutes... while my generations is under 30 seconds.

Alot of the ''old'' should be brought back however I believe society took over nature (I remember my parents telling me to finish my plate fully cause we might someday not have food on the table, or Bananas/strawberry not being accessible for 6 months at the groceries due to winter). Simple disease being ''life threatening''

So life became easier, society made nature ''weaker''.... the End started being the central image and the ''path'' became an after thought. We all know the path is 99% of the job.

Me: I am astonished about how many 25-30 years old are getting married after not even 1 year of dating and having kids. I understand the ''biological clock'', they probably had a couple of sexual encounters, they know what they want in a partner.... but they don't even wait to know the persons before jumping in the wedding.

They're too Inexperienced enough to realize they don't KNOW that person. They base the love off how strong the lust and infatuation feels.

 

[Augustus_McCrae]

HighSpeed,

Agreed on marriage.

I do think it is possible to have a decent LTR, however, in my opinion it requires two things. A decent women (very rare), and a red pill mindset for the man. And the man always has to keep his frame and needs to be prepared to walk if he has to.

-Augustus-

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

Just read the first post and I have to say, this is one of the golden nuggets of wisdom that keep me coming to this website. That is a very strong point. Women think about getting married (a wedding) and having kids (a mom). Men think about being a husband and having a good wife and having a good career. Strong eye-opener here, at least to me anyway. Thank you.

 

[SteR]

In my blue pill days I analysed what went wrong and it was mainly centred around things I should have done. I didn't understand what she should be doing and things I should never do.

Care to elaborate on this? I'd be interested to hear what you learned..

 

[Augustus_McCrae]

ImTheDoubleGreatest,

You're welcome. I stay for the same reasons and for the occasional chance to be able to contribute. I've learned so much here and from RM. The amount of knowledge available on both sites is considerable if a man has an open mind and is willing to engage in introspective thought, then put those thoughts into action.

-Augustus-

 

[ubercat]

I my case nothing profound. It came down to letting the relationship become pedestrian and not having the DJ mindset. Modern Women need variety, passion, socialisation, pampering and a bit of romance - I.e. r bloody hard work. Some of that they should be supplying themselves but if they don't get off their AZZ u have to make it happen. And the usual rude shock of how they will decide to go and then spend months playing the dutiful partner waiting until it's convenient for them. Fortunately I realized her behavior was off and pulled the pin.

Overall I ve come to realize that if your not managing your woman, she s not your woman.

 

[ubercat]

@Augustus_McCrae

Yes it is raining soup on Sosuave everything can be found if u look. But I do wonder if half the guys know how apply it. Ego gets in the way a bit here.

On some of my threads I be been criticized for over analysis or being self deprecating. I think that s a bit of an American cultural frame compounded with the alpha archetype which is overly espoused.

I always advise guys to let it all hang out here. As we know women r driven by nature and nature is ruthless. Better to get a reality check here. Also it may be as in my case that a member is working on a particular sticking point. Everyone has gaps.

I think ego also tells guys that they can just 'get it'. I see it like sports u r as u train. If u don't apply training principles like working on one thing at a time, chunking, progression, entering state etc. there s very little chance of changing behavior.

 

[Augustus_McCrae]

Ubercat,

"Ego gets in the way a bit here." That... Is an understatement my friend.

-Augustus-

 

[Serenity]

I've always said it's ironic that we are taught to tie our shoes, use a microwave, etc, but how to interact, connect, relate, empathize, partner, etc with people isn't really addressed

I think it's commonly assumed that people just learn that as they go along, interaction is an unavoidable part of life. Mostly this is true and this is the way it's learned, by observation and daily practice.

What puts some people at a disadvantage isn't how it's taught and learned, it's having sh!tty teachers. Parents who are sh!t at it themselves cannot demonstrate these important qualities for their children. By the time children is in a position to expand their social circle (school etc.) they'll be lagging behind those who had more skilled parents. Being taught maladaptive social strategies from before also makes it harder learning what they observe later, it can be fixed but it's going to be a hard job.

People who socialize well and know their way around in relationships wasn't given a lecture. They were just fortunate enough to have years observing and interacting with parents who practiced it themselves.

Spreading knowledge on how to successfully handling interpersonal relations is really important. It might educate someone who didn't get it from their parents so they can be the parent they lacked, and some poor kids don't grow up socially retarded.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

What are her examples then?

In my life I had my mom who was a model when she was younger. She was also a feminist that believed in carrying her own weight. Ontop of that, she believed if she had a man that did what he was supposed to as a man, that he should be able to get what he needs from her and she should support this man. Thus they were intimate and had sex nightly ( I had to hear it ). They worked together as a team. If there were opposite sex friends, they were invited to the house to our parties, as a friend of the marriage.

Mom also was also always financially able, and paid half the bills. They never argued in front of us and always made decisions together.

There is a smooth way to run it, and this is my example.

 

[machoMax]

That is something I see all the time; women always want something more, something better, they don't know what 'that' is...

 

[highSpeed]

HighSpeed,

Agreed on marriage.

I do think it is possible to have a decent LTR, however, in my opinion it requires two things. A decent women (very rare), and a red pill mindset for the man. And the man always has to keep his frame and needs to be prepared to walk if he has to.

-Augustus-

Decent women are exceedingly rare, it's like digging for truffles, who has time for that? And I have to wonder out lout, why the hell would I want to have to continually game a woman to keep her around? It's like herding cats. I'm married but I have to tell you, I have zero interest in herding cats. Does that mean I'm doomed for failure in my marriage? Perhaps, but I've got money to make and a business to tend to, I don't want to have to manage my wife. If she can't see the good deal she's got then screw it, I guess I'll have to spin plates, much as I hate doing that as well. I have to tell you guys, robots for sex is starting to look pretty dam good.

 

[highSpeed]

What are her examples then?

In my life I had my mom who was a model when she was younger. She was also a feminist that believed in carrying her own weight. Ontop of that, she believed if she had a man that did what he was supposed to as a man, that he should be able to get what he needs from her and she should support this man. Thus they were intimate and had sex nightly ( I had to hear it ). They worked together as a team. If there were opposite sex friends, they were invited to the house to our parties, as a friend of the marriage.

Mom also was also always financially able, and paid half the bills. They never argued in front of us and always made decisions together.

There is a smooth way to run it, and this is my example.

Sounds like you had a pretty awesome set of parents. Hopefully you were able to learn from them and make your life better. My parents were sheite at teaching and I had to stumble around and learn quite a bit on my own and the hard way. That is a crappy way to learn. It takes a lot longer that way.