She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Anecdotally I can confirm that. While my sapiosexual Tinder match was charitably a 6, even adjusting for age, she was crazy horny. For what she lacked in looks she made up for in enthusiasm and skills.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Get to it then.
I am 3 for 4 so far in no date/never met before same night lays. 4th one is coming by again so we will see if 2nd time is the charm.
The part you fail to miss is, you're not the only guy she is video chatting with, the potential for her to meet a guy she likes more than you is very real. I had chick who got flaked on doing 2 of these and she wanted me to do it. I was like EFF No.
I have been off the dating apps for a few months now, but about ready to fire it back up for this reason exactly. No more meeting at bars and charming them back to my place or theirs... A few messages and see if they are DTF.
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.