Breakup with GF

The Duke

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My last LTR got a little lopsided for way too long. I was doing most all the work, taking care of all our stuff while she was putting every thing she had into her job. She was gone for 4-5 days at a time traveling. I voiced my concerns about her job, she eventually understood but really didn't do anything about it. I was plenty understanding and patient for about a year. I finally had enough and told her she needed to leave.

Over a year later and things are crystal clear to me. I had someone that lacked empathy and was about herself. Any woman that puts her job before you, you just need to cut her loose. Its not feminine at all.

With that being said, don't be a needy, insecure biatch either.
 

BackInTheGame78

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My last LTR got a little lopsided for way too long. I was doing most all the work, taking care of all our stuff while she was putting every thing she had into her job. She was gone for 4-5 days at a time traveling. I voiced my concerns about her job, she eventually understood but really didn't do anything about it. I was plenty understanding and patient for about a year. I finally had enough and told her she needed to leave.

Over a year later and things are crystal clear to me. I had someone that lacked empathy and was about herself. Any woman that puts her job before you, you just need to cut her loose. Its not feminine at all.

With that being said, don't be a needy, insecure biatch either.
Yup...all goes back to its really easy to speak some words and say what she wants you to hear but it's far harder when it comes time for her to put the effort into showing you what you want to see.
 

Learning Curve

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Thursday night, we got into an argument over the phone. She told me that the dept at the hospital is too hard and she can't handle it. She is going back to hospice and if I don't like it, to find a new girlfriend. I have a really bad temper and lost it. I ended up calling her a "stupid bVtch." Now she broke up with me and refuses to work things out. I have lost my temper before with her and she has warned me. I have never hit her or anything. I just get angry and say things without thinking.
She has set a rule for you, and said "hey this is what I want, you either in or out" when a women does something like this, you as a man if you don't like the current course of action and especially when she says "find a new girlfriend" you basically start to consider your eject options.

You called her "stupid b1tch" and apparently you think that because she "warned you" and you did it again this is the reason for the break up but it's not. If she was emotionally invested and you apologized she would probably forgive you, all though you f3ucked up.

Just by seeing your post I can understand that this has been going for a long-time and she probably lost all interest and feelings for you. This is how the woman nature and brain works. Long fights, arguments, cause a loss of emotional investment and attraction until a woman is eventually long-gone. And guys still ask the question "why she left me and she is with another dude the next week?" well this is why.

All I ever did was try to guide her in her life since I'm older and been through more. Her car now has 118K miles on it and its smashed up from an accident that was her fault. She is ruining her car with the mileage from that job and she still owes money on it. She also recently got a DUI and will lose her license once convicted.
It does not matter what you have try to do, or what you have done. She is acting un-invested and emotionally dead. Typical behavior for a woman that wants to break up. She does not care anymore. Trust me.

I'm mad at myself for falling in love again and getting feelings. I have a 15 yr old daughter who opened up to her and likes her. She is being really cold to me and won't talk to me to work things out. I know I shouldn't have lost my temper but I feel like the way she is acting is not right. I'm really hurt from this and so is my daughter. She leaves for another country with her family in a week and they will be gone for a month. She told me that once shes done with someone shes done with someone so thats why she won't work things out and that she gave me too many chances.
Let her leave. Do not ever contact her again if you have any chance of her reaching out, or if there is any emotional respect left. In any case most probably you will not want her back anyway.

It will take time, and a correct strategy to heal. Use it, and don't try to find reasons to contact her or to justify her behavior. Her career and her life is more important then you are.

She made you a favour. Find another woman that will be truly interested for who you are, and for what you bring to the table.
 

SW15

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kickboxing classes
Kickboxing classes are fun.

She literally told you she puts her career desires above you.
That would be a big problem in this relationship longer term that would keep occurring. It's a thing that would be a frustration for most men.

Even if the relationship can survive in the immediate term, this isn't something that is going to be good longer term. It would be a good idea to cut ties now before that persists and continues to cause issues.

When we met, she was an RN at a hospital driving a brand new car, and was going to school for NP.
Her car now has 118K miles on it and its smashed up from an accident that was her fault. She is ruining her car with the mileage from that job and she still owes money on it. She also recently got a DUI and will lose her license once convicted.
I don't like the story about her car. 118,000 miles is a lot of miles for a car less than 5 years old. Some car brands generally do better than others in getting to a lifespan of 200,000 - 400,000 miles. A better than average owner can take a lesser quality brand car into the 200,000 - 400,000 range. She is not a better than average owner. She seems to be a worse than average owner. The pending DUI case is also a concerning issue.

Nurses have changed a lot in the last 20-30 years in terms of their personal attributes and how good of girlfriends/wives they make. In the past, nurses possessed more attributes that translated well in romantic relationship. They were kind, supportive, and feminine. For men in the Silent Generation, the Baby Boomer generation, and Generation X, having a girlfriend/wife who was a nurse was generally considered a positive. The nurses of the Millennial generation and now into Generation Z are far more self-absorbed, hypergamous women who are often looking to have affairs with doctors, high level hospital administrators, or other co-workers. Rates of infidelity among nurses have gone up significantly during the last 20-30 years with the younger nurses.

Nurse practitioners are women with advanced degrees who behave like women in other occupation with advanced degrees. They are the Girl Boss, career-first, self-absorbed types. That's not good either.

Everything tells me that exiting this relationship now is a good idea.
 

Giovanni SouthSide

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@SW15

I once read a statement from a member here that distilled some truth ,

Even if you lay down the pipe correctly she will still prioritize her job over you. If you just want sex this is not a bad arrangement. Just don't make it more than that (if you want more, find someone else)
She probably loves her job so much because she knows she's insufferable.



no shade thrown at OP, but in my experience the most unstable chicks I ever met always had a messy car and just didn’t take care of it. Racking up miles falls in those lines.
The way a woman treats her car speaks volumes about the way she moves in life.

Nurses are feminine and sexual. They have to deal with catty nurses and female administrators all day and crave male attention. More than a handful slut it up to senior male doctors in exchange for privileges or to shoot up the ranks.
Probably because they are somewhat in charge of patients in their work, they like to be dominated psychologically and sexually. Take charge on the date with them. Be highly confident at the least. Quite a few respond well to asshxle game. They are very comfortable with the human body and sex. Surprisingly, nurses rarely ask for condom use. I suppose they are less afraid of germs than others and have a more realistic view of STDs apart from the public propaganda. Online is a great place to meet them, since they aren't exposed to attractive men in their daily life, many of them resort to online. They also respond well to cold approach. Nurses like to drink, but most avoid drugs because of drug testing on their jobs. They like manly men and are intolerant of any show of vulnerability of weakness. Minimal to no LMR will be encountered.

I once assumed that nurses were the last vestige of the “good girls". Unicorns before I knew what a unicorn was. I thought because they were choosing a nurturing profession that they'd be pure and virginal and good morals.

Lets just say I no longer associate nursing with purity, but actually the reverse. They at the very least have to be carefully vetted before jumping to any exclusivity.
 
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Bokanovsky

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I normally don't post personal stuff. I'm not sure if I'm looking for advice or just want to vent. I'm 42 (white) and shes 31 (asian). We dated for 3.5 years.

When we met, she was an RN at a hospital driving a brand new car, and was going to school for NP. She eventually moved to hospice earlier this yr and stopped going to school. This hospice job has driven me nuts. She works 7 days a week, her phone is always ringing, and shes always on a computer charting. She gets calls from morning to night and will have to run out to see a patient out nowhere. We could be finishing dinner at a restaurant and she will get a call to go see one. I get barely any time with her because of this job. The job was stressing her out so I got her to agree to go back to school and she got a job at a hospital again.

Thursday night, we got into an argument over the phone. She told me that the dept at the hospital is too hard and she can't handle it. She is going back to hospice and if I don't like it, to find a new girlfriend. I have a really bad temper and lost it. I ended up calling her a "stupid bVtch." Now she broke up with me and refuses to work things out. I have lost my temper before with her and she has warned me. I have never hit her or anything. I just get angry and say things without thinking.

All I ever did was try to guide her in her life since I'm older and been through more. Her car now has 118K miles on it and its smashed up from an accident that was her fault. She is ruining her car with the mileage from that job and she still owes money on it. She also recently got a DUI and will lose her license once convicted.

I'm mad at myself for falling in love again and getting feelings. I have a 15 yr old daughter who opened up to her and likes her. She is being really cold to me and won't talk to me to work things out. I know I shouldn't have lost my temper but I feel like the way she is acting is not right. I'm really hurt from this and so is my daughter. She leaves for another country with her family in a week and they will be gone for a month. She told me that once shes done with someone shes done with someone so thats why she won't work things out and that she gave me too many chances.

I appreciate you guys reading this and I appreciate the support. Its going to be a while before I feel good again.
Your situation reminds me of my break up with my last ex, except the roles were reversed. It was my ex who had a bad temper. She was okay 95% of the time but every now and then she would get triggered by something and completely loose her cool. She also felt like I was working too much and not spending enough time with her (even though we spent every weekend together and would meet once or twice during the week). My ex threw a huge hissy fit one day when I had to work late and canceled our plans for the evening. She literally told me to go fvck myself and that was the last time we saw each other.

At the end of the day, people with anger issues are never worth your time. They are miserable themselves and make those around them miserable too. I hope you get it sorted out.
 

Chow Mein

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@SW15

I once read a statement from a member here that distilled some truth ,

Even if you lay down the pipe correctly she will still prioritize her job over you. If you just want sex this is not a bad arrangement. Just don't make it more than that (if you want more, find someone else)
She probably loves her job so much because she knows she's insufferable.



no shade thrown at OP, but in my experience the most unstable chicks I ever met always had a messy car and just didn’t take care of it. Racking up miles falls in those lines.
The way a woman treats her car speaks volumes about the way she moves in life.

Nurses are feminine and sexual. They have to deal with catty nurses and female administrators all day and crave male attention. More than a handful slut it up to senior male doctors in exchange for privileges or to shoot up the ranks.
Probably because they are somewhat in charge of patients in their work, they like to be dominated psychologically and sexually. Take charge on the date with them. Be highly confident at the least. Quite a few respond well to asshxle game. They are very comfortable with the human body and sex. Surprisingly, nurses rarely ask for condom use. I suppose they are less afraid of germs than others and have a more realistic view of STDs apart from the public propaganda. Online is a great place to meet them, since they aren't exposed to attractive men in their daily life, many of them resort to online. They also respond well to cold approach. Nurses like to drink, but most avoid drugs because of drug testing on their jobs. They like manly men and are intolerant of any show of vulnerability of weakness. Minimal to no LMR will be encountered.

I once assumed that nurses were the last vestige of the “good girls". Unicorns before I knew what a unicorn was. I thought because they were choosing a nurturing profession that they'd be pure and virginal and good morals.

Lets just say I no longer associate nursing with purity, but actually the reverse. They at the very least have to be carefully vetted before jumping to any exclusivity.
I am also a sucker for nurses, especially the travel ones. Also, their schedule makes it easy for me to coordinate with multiple partners.
 

BackInTheGame78

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She has set a rule for you, and said "hey this is what I want, you either in or out" when a women does something like this, you as a man if you don't like the current course of action and especially when she says "find a new girlfriend" you basically start to consider your eject options.

You called her "stupid b1tch" and apparently you think that because she "warned you" and you did it again this is the reason for the break up but it's not. If she was emotionally invested and you apologized she would probably forgive you, all though you f3ucked up.

Just by seeing your post I can understand that this has been going for a long-time and she probably lost all interest and feelings for you. This is how the woman nature and brain works. Long fights, arguments, cause a loss of emotional investment and attraction until a woman is eventually long-gone. And guys still ask the question "why she left me and she is with another dude the next week?" well this is why.



It does not matter what you have try to do, or what you have done. She is acting un-invested and emotionally dead. Typical behavior for a woman that wants to break up. She does not care anymore. Trust me.



Let her leave. Do not ever contact her again if you have any chance of her reaching out, or if there is any emotional respect left. In any case most probably you will not want her back anyway.

It will take time, and a correct strategy to heal. Use it, and don't try to find reasons to contact her or to justify her behavior. Her career and her life is more important then you are.

She made you a favour. Find another woman that will be truly interested for who you are, and for what you bring to the table.
She is hoping he gets the hint and dumps her. He likely won't and then when she loses all respect for him eventually she will do it herself and literally not even be able to be in the same room with him because she is disgusted.

Likely after she has been acting "weird" due to going out and fvcking other dudes until she finds one she likes and monkey branches to him.

Been there done that as have many others.
 

Giovanni SouthSide

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She is hoping he gets the hint and dumps her. He likely won't and then when she loses all respect for him eventually she will do it herself and literally not even be able to be in the same room with him because she is disgusted.

Likely after she has been acting "weird" due to going out and fvcking other dudes until she finds one she likes and monkey branches to him.

Been there done that as have many others.
She wants him to send her packing that way she can move on from a clean death.
Girls can sense scariness of dumping her and neediness leaking like a shark smells a drop of blood. One part per billion is enough to shut down the tingle receptors and turn you into chum. I been there and learned the brutal way. She eventually snuck off the reservation for some damp, dirty and deep. I was left a bloody canvas.
 

Learning Curve

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She is hoping he gets the hint and dumps her. He likely won't and then when she loses all respect for him eventually she will do it herself and literally not even be able to be in the same room with him because she is disgusted.

Likely after she has been acting "weird" due to going out and fvcking other dudes until she finds one she likes and monkey branches to him.

Been there done that as have many others.
Yeap, this is what happens usually.
 

Divorced w 3

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I’m sure you guys have a lot going on but what really jumped out at me was her putting 113k miles on her car in 3.5 years. Holy smokes. She’s under a lot of stress. I am not going to try and diagnosis this from one post but if nothing else, that level of stress is going to color anyone’s attitude on a lot of issues I would think, and if she lashes out at you she’s probably doing it , at least a little, out of comfort in your closeness (not that it’s right but it is a human thing thing do). Biting back at her wasn’t awesome but you’re a real person also. If you love and care about her let her pursue what she is trying to pursue. You have made no mention of what your common goals are either. Maybe this is going to conclude soon for her. Maybe you don’t want kids. Have you recommended she find work closer. Have you ever discussed marriage. Maybe she’s pissed that you haven’t proposed this far into your relationship. Not saying any of this is right but just some thoughts.
 
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