"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
Breaking the Ice
- Thread starter HandyAndy
- Start date
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
You have to ISOLATE first. Then talk about: her hair, her clothes, her shoes, her purse, her job, her family, her vacations, her pets, etc, etc. Get the picture?HandyAndy said:
No girl ever came home from a date complaining all they did was talk about themselves.
ISOLATE HER FIRST?? You don't know anything about this girl - her name, her phone number, hell you haven't even said HI to her yet - and you're saying Isolate her first??
I've approached quite a few women in my day and isolation was never what I was going for on the initial approach.
ARrocket
Master Don Juan
Plus, I think he's referring to girls in CLASS....a high school to be precise. Isolation just isn't gonna happen....young_gun said:
Make sure you make your presence known in class....answer questions, joke around with the kids around you....if you have a friend that sits somewhere near her, spend some time over there....and that way you can easily introduce yourself.
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Edit: DJ11, I feel more comfortable when MY friends are around, because then if I make an ass of myself, my buddy can keep the conversation flowing and the both of us dont stand around with nothing to say
"Hey there, I saw you when I walked in and wanted to introduce myself. I'm xxxx"
Direct, to the point, and simple.
How you say it is more important than what you say.
Demon Lord
Don Juan
"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"
You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.
and yes, it is hard. If you go have a look at the MM, you will see, it's like higher risk opener/easier transition and lower risk opener/harder transition. transition is when you go from the opener to a normal convo. that's what you need.
so more direct the approach, the easier to go on to a normal chat.
but if you are going indirect, it's pretty hard to get her to open because that depends upon how much you attract her actually.
Al: So do we have to go through this checklist?
her: What checklist?
Al: You know, this eye colour and food thing. What's your favorite food?
her: Oh, I don't really know, probably everything with meat.
Al: Thank you sooo much, finally someone who doesn't like pizza best, I must have had 10 girls with pizza this evening! I don't really know either.
her: laughing
The ice was broken then and we had a niceconvo where she did most of the talking. So I think humour and agreement is good.
(Maybe the convo doesn't sound very good, had to translate it so it might have a different effect now
)"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.