"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Breaking Dates

Dash Riprock

Master Don Juan
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For Uber-DJ's only:

I've been dating a super hot Latina babe (34 yr. old) for about 5 weeks now. I call her or text her maybe once/week to set something up and then plan a fun date.

Lot's of ****y/funny and overt-confidence has her basically eating out of my hand. I'm dating around but don't talk about it much; she has been pumping me for info re: how many other girls I'm seeing to which I reply (chidingly), "none of your bee's wax."

I nailed her last week (wow) and she stayed over.

I don't want things to get too comfortable so I'm thinking about cancelling our date for Friday night because "something came up" as to keep the tension line taught. Plus, I just feel like my game is off right now. Kind of like Brett Favre on Monday Night; an All-Pro who had a bad game.

Any DJ thoughts much appreciated

Dash in Boulder, CO
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

Read more...

Damian

Senior Don Juan
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Just plain-old cancel on her. If you truly have her eating out of your hand, then there shouldn't be any problems with being direct. Just tell her you can't go because of *insert excuse here*, but best to do it the day before. Don't want to have girl totally stood up.

-Damian
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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Originally posted by Dash Riprock

I don't want things to get too comfortable so I'm thinking about cancelling our date for Friday night because "something came up" as to keep the tension line taught.
That sounds like something a woman would do. If you didn't want things to get too comfortable why did you set up the date in the first place?
 

Captain Popular

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i dont know who old you are but from my experience the older women dont like to play games...the've been in the game and perfer directness, (most of them now)
so if you have to tell her up front to prevent furture awkwardness do it now and early
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Oxide

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Why?

What are you, scared? Once a week is fine.
 

Dash Riprock

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All good advice--thanks. I'm keeping the date. I can do some other things to keep the line tight.

It's VERY early in the ball game (5 weeks) so the standard has to be set NOW. Just like training a dog, if you mess up when they're a puppy they don't behave--or they run away.

I'm getting to the point of where she is letting her guard down a bit. Even though we had sex, I could tell she held back in the sack.

This girl is a 9+ so I'm sure she has dudes kissing her a$$ all the time. I haven't. As a matter of fact, I've taken C/F to the point of even being "jerkish" -- and she responded very favorably.

She is from Europe and says 99% of all US guys are wussies. LOL.
 
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