"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

Break NC or no?

J

Johnny Alias

Senior Don Juan
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Ugh. Just found the ex BPDs iPad. I'm painting my bedroom and it was behind bed. Thought I'd return it since it's the right thing to do through a mutual friend. She was really upset when she lost it...

I won't lie. I also thought of including a note saying she should apologize to a long time friend of hers she accused her and I of having an affair with. Never even kissed the chick.

Thoughts? That would be it. Swear.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

Read more...

J

Johnny Alias

Senior Don Juan
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Yeah. You guys are right. Thanks for calling me out on it. Simply no point in trying to get an apology out of her even if its for another person. The ex friend would probably be pissed I even brought it up considering crazy and crazy bf shouted at her like crazy, accused her and i of having an affair, and then wouldn't provide vaccination papers when his dog bit her daughter. Actually told her to F*** off when she asked.

Yeah. Ex friend doesn't want anything to do with BPD. Why the hell should I try to make peace? Stupid.
 
Lotus Effect

Lotus Effect

Master Don Juan
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Man, find a mutual friend you are still in contact and you know that still is in touch with your ex!

Give this person the Device, tell this person to return to device to her!

And DO NOT send any messages! Just say I found this, give it back to my ex!

Your ex will most likely ask to that perrson if any message was given, and since you have not said a word, it will leave her wondering...}


Not that you should care!
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

Read more...

J

Johnny Alias

Senior Don Juan
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She doesn't know I have it. She thought she lost it in the mountains...

I'm just going to give it to her mutual friend. I'm no thief. This thing cost like $400 bucks.

No message though. No anything.
 
U

Uncharted

Master Don Juan
Joined
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Location
Brooklyn, NY
Yeah return it. It's not yours and it's not like you stole it so that you could talk to her.

It's not a big deal to do something like this unless you make it a big deal in your mind.
 
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