You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Forget the cash, the cars, and the chiseled jawlines. Female desire operates on a completely different frequency. Primal. Subconscious. Triggers that bypass her logic and hit her on a gut level. Most guys are totally blind to them.
I know because I was one of them. The overthinking. The paralysis. The silent drive home kicking yourself for freezing up. Watching average guys walk away with the girl while you stood there stuck in your own head.
Then I decoded the psychology behind what actually makes women tick. 22 hard rules. Subtle behavioral shifts that rewired my entire reality. The anxiety evaporated. Women started leaning in. Investing. Chasing.
You remind me of one of my best friends who I grew up with in Indiana. He’s got a child with a mentally ill woman and he’s got the mental strength and will power of a god. I dated a legit bpd for 4 months recently and felt the sting of it for several weeks after I dumped her. Like intense withdrawals symptoms that I thought for sure I wouldn’t have. I knew what I was dealing with and from the very beginning was planning to jump ship and did so as soon as the crazy came out. I cannot imagine being a blue pill guy getting caught up with one of these women not knowing what they’re capable of. Sadism and evil are understatements.had a child with one..
the evil I've seen...
theirs no way to explain it. no way at all, wish I could, but I just cant. no possible way I can describe the experience and what I had to do to survive.
fvcking brutal man, brutal as fvcking chit.
everything they say, do, live, all leads to one goal, death and destruction. that's what their born to do. and they do it with smiles and kindess, while slowly killing you.
every time she reaches out, thinks about, contacts you, she has death on her mind.
think I'm crazy? lololol
I've known a few guys that died when i was younger, some was suicide, drunk car accidents, overdoeses.. it was because of girls. and those idiots didn't even have kids,![]()
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
She didn't want you. She just needed to know that she could have you and you showed her that she could. Mission accomplished on her part. Mission. Failed on yours. Do not pass go. Do not fall for this trap again.So the BPD I posted about from years ago has returned and I fu*ked up. I was about 1 year totally sober from this chick. Didn't call, erased number, no contact, the works. She hits me up on my old phone saying some sappy nonsense. I held out for a month. I didn't respond even though everyday it was a struggle. Like a true recovering junkie I responded. Big mistake. Fast forward to a month later I pay for a portion of her ticket to come see me. I made her pay for a lot of it just out of principle and for the fact that she is very unpredictable. She had flaked on me many times in the past and I wasn't gonna shell out hundreds of dollars on a ticket just to get flaked on.
Sure enough about a week out she comes up with some issue. Apparently I am player and her parents don't think its right ( shes in her mid twenties adult, ex stripper who has never listened to her divorced parents ever) and that she doesn't want me to expect sex because she not giving it blah blah blah blah. Long phone call, a lot of yelling and talking over each other. A lot of her saying " I don't know what I want" etc etc. I basically got gaslighted for her not coming. It was my fault somehow.
I have made a lot of progress but relapse is always hovering over me. Its been 3 yrs since I have seen her and she still has not changed. I always imagined that she would be different. They never change. This brings back bad memories of what a borderline is like. I haven't had to deal with them for 3 years since I moved away and dated more healthy women. I think the universe did me a big favor by her not coming out here. I am going on a date with a sane women this weekend so I should be ok.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
I occasionally view the top subreddits on Reddit and filter by growth over 24hrs. There is a BPD Reddit Topic that is consistently in the top 100 subreddits by growth of around 1% PER DAY. Either BPD is becoming more common or awareness of BPD is becoming more common. The Subreddit is BPDLovedone.I also think the whole thing about only 2% of the population having bpd is total bs. I’d estimated it’s actually 10-20% if you looking at the single women population above 25 years old.
Totally right. I told this story to an ex who is a therapist and she said almost exactly what you said. The BPD wanted the satisfaction of knowing I still cared. Well it hurt her broke azz too because she had to come out of pocket with a large chunk of her ticket.She didn't want you. She just needed to know that she could have you and you showed her that she could. Mission accomplished on her part. Mission. Failed on yours. Do not pass go. Do not fall for this trap again.
If it's any consolation to you, they do like a challenge and pursue stoic guys as it mirrors their yearning for love in a way that mirrors their childhood yearning for love form the parent/s that failed them. Hence why alot of them have distant or absent Father's. Weak guys don't offer them this challenge and get chewed up and spat out after a few short weeks unless they husband them up in a Beta provider kind of way.Totally right. I told this story to an ex who is a therapist and she said almost exactly what you said. The BPD wanted the satisfaction of knowing I still cared. Well it hurt her broke azz too because she had to come out of pocket with a large chunk of her ticket.
It crazy man this is the only chick that makes me look like a fool. Im like Wiley Coyote falling for every trap. I am usually a pretty stoic strong dude.
That makes a lot of sense. Thank youIf it's any consolation to you, they do like a challenge and pursue stoic guys as it mirrors their yearning for love in a way that mirrors their childhood yearning for love form the parent/s that failed them. Hence why alot of them have distant or absent Father's. Weak guys don't offer them this challenge and get chewed up and spat out after a few short weeks unless they husband them up in a Beta provider kind of way.
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Is she still hot?So the BPD I posted about from years ago has returned and I fu*ked up. I was about 1 year totally sober from this chick. Didn't call, erased number, no contact, the works. She hits me up on my old phone saying some sappy nonsense. I held out for a month. I didn't respond even though everyday it was a struggle. Like a true recovering junkie I responded. Big mistake. Fast forward to a month later I pay for a portion of her ticket to come see me. I made her pay for a lot of it just out of principle and for the fact that she is very unpredictable. She had flaked on me many times in the past and I wasn't gonna shell out hundreds of dollars on a ticket just to get flaked on.
Sure enough about a week out she comes up with some issue. Apparently I am player and her parents don't think its right ( shes in her mid twenties adult, ex stripper who has never listened to her divorced parents ever) and that she doesn't want me to expect sex because she not giving it blah blah blah blah. Long phone call, a lot of yelling and talking over each other. A lot of her saying " I don't know what I want" etc etc. I basically got gaslighted for her not coming. It was my fault somehow.
I have made a lot of progress but relapse is always hovering over me. Its been 3 yrs since I have seen her and she still has not changed. I always imagined that she would be different. They never change. This brings back bad memories of what a borderline is like. I haven't had to deal with them for 3 years since I moved away and dated more healthy women. I think the universe did me a big favor by her not coming out here. I am going on a date with a sane women this weekend so I should be ok.
Unfortunately yes. She is slightly older looking but she didn't let her weight balloon. She was an 8/10 before and maybe a 7.7 now. I really wish I could show pics She is super cute rather than hot. Super cute is much more dangerous than super hot.Is she still hot?
You can upload them else where and share the link that way there is no pics posted here. Now we're all curious you keep saying you wanna post themUnfortunately yes. She is slightly older looking but she didn't let her weight balloon. She was an 8/10 before and maybe a 7.7 now. I really wish I could show pics She is super cute rather than hot. Super cute is much more dangerous than super hot.
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.