BPD from years ago returns

Pandora

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#41
She didn't want you. She just needed to know that she could have you and you showed her that she could. Mission accomplished on her part. Mission. Failed on yours. Do not pass go. Do not fall for this trap again.
Totally right. I told this story to an ex who is a therapist and she said almost exactly what you said. The BPD wanted the satisfaction of knowing I still cared. Well it hurt her broke azz too because she had to come out of pocket with a large chunk of her ticket.
It crazy man this is the only chick that makes me look like a fool. Im like Wiley Coyote falling for every trap. I am usually a pretty stoic strong dude.
 

wolf

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#42
Totally right. I told this story to an ex who is a therapist and she said almost exactly what you said. The BPD wanted the satisfaction of knowing I still cared. Well it hurt her broke azz too because she had to come out of pocket with a large chunk of her ticket.
It crazy man this is the only chick that makes me look like a fool. Im like Wiley Coyote falling for every trap. I am usually a pretty stoic strong dude.
If it's any consolation to you, they do like a challenge and pursue stoic guys as it mirrors their yearning for love in a way that mirrors their childhood yearning for love form the parent/s that failed them. Hence why alot of them have distant or absent Father's. Weak guys don't offer them this challenge and get chewed up and spat out after a few short weeks unless they husband them up in a Beta provider kind of way.
 

Pandora

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#43
If it's any consolation to you, they do like a challenge and pursue stoic guys as it mirrors their yearning for love in a way that mirrors their childhood yearning for love form the parent/s that failed them. Hence why alot of them have distant or absent Father's. Weak guys don't offer them this challenge and get chewed up and spat out after a few short weeks unless they husband them up in a Beta provider kind of way.
That makes a lot of sense. Thank you
 

rando5495

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#44
I am usually a pretty stoic strong dude.
If it's any consolation to you, they do like a challenge and pursue stoic guys as it mirrors their yearning for love in a way that mirrors their childhood yearning for love form the parent/s that failed them.
Stoicism is quite possibly one of the most overated and boring things ever. It even leads to worse sex.

Emotion is a part of sex. Holding and kissing a girls neck and shoulders gets me going for a second round. They release oxitocin during this phase which connects her to us in a very deep manner.

Stoicism is fvcking bullsh1te.

Stoicism doen't have a monopoly on judgement.

The girl is basically always a placeholder, and you need simply a better means (girl) of expressing yourself. If you are so inclined.

It's a simply bad judgement on a flake that probably everyone makes, mate. Don't make more of it than necessary.
 

LARaiders85

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#45
Stoicism is quite possibly one of the most overated and boring things ever. It even leads to worse sex.

Emotion is a part of sex. Holding and kissing a girls neck and shoulders gets me going for a second round. They release oxitocin during this phase which connects her to us in a very deep manner.

Stoicism is fvcking bullsh1te.

Stoicism doen't have a monopoly on judgement.

The girl is basically always a placeholder, and you need simply a better means (girl) of expressing yourself. If you are so inclined.

It's a simply bad judgement on a flake that probably everyone makes, mate. Don't make more of it than necessary.
I've seen women ping pong from stoic guy to funny emotional guy their whole lives. They like both at different times.
 

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markfromeurope

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#46
I've seen women ping pong from stoic guy to funny emotional guy their whole lives. They like both at different times.
I've observed it as well. In overall it's better to be a funboi/non-stoic imo.

btw. fascination of ancient philosophy doesn't make sense in the present world as it is.

World has changed a lot in the last 50 years. Getting off on Marcus Aurelius thoughts simply won't work.
 

rando5495

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#47
I've seen women ping pong from stoic guy to funny emotional guy their whole lives. They like both at different times.
You are a geez and a good poster.

Let's focus on what we are into more though, eh? and how the bird brains fit into our scheme.


I've observed it as well. In overall it's better to be a funboi/non-stoic imo.

btw. fascination of ancient philosophy doesn't make sense in the present world as it is.

World has changed a lot in the last 50 years. Getting off on Marcus Aurelius thoughts simply won't work.
I'm more Marc Antony than Marc Brutus in the Shakespearean sense.

Fvcking nonsense. Seriously.
 

stovepipe

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#49
Anyone whos been with a BPD knows how difficult it can be to ignore a hoover. Just be thankful you arent one of those men who never learned what BPD's are and how they operate, and end up spending the rest of their life chasing their BPD ex cause they thought the love bombing was actually real. I witnessed them telling ex's they still love them to keep the supply and keep the man from dating. Then ghosting him for years at a time.

Only pure evil smiles while causing others massive amounts of emotional and mental pain. Who cares if she got her supply by getting you to show her you still care. Try your best to make it the last and final time you ever give in to her bs manipulation. As others have already said, it's never about you, its always about them.

I sent the BPD ex an email a couple months after the split that was like 3 pages of beta male bs. I was still in the fog but had just learned what BPD was She ended up texting me a couple days later saying how sorry she was and how she never meant to hurt me. I dont know where my strength came from but I ignored her, deleted the text and blocked her #. The amount of happiness I felt in myself from finally being able to ignore her was the 1st step of slowly healing myself. She tried to contact me again months later with a blocked # but it didn't faze me. It was always reminding myself of the phuked up things she did to me that made me never ever want to see or talk to her again.

It's truly scary how they haunt your mind for years or forever. Thats why guys like us try to tell others to not even sleep with one no matter how hot she is. Feels like the same way as an addict shooting up his 1st hit of heroin. Its like she's living my mind rent free and I cant evict her a$$. Someone mentioned it being like losing a limb in battle and accepting the fact you aint never getting that arm/leg back. They make the extra effort to be the girl you always wanted so no other women ever compares. Then you go chasing other women in hopes of feeling the way they made you feel only to realize it's never going to happen. Thats why so many men after the breakup end up isolating themselves from society, refuse to date or even turn guy.


I have a friend who is what you would call the betaist male with little to no experience with women, only had a couple gf at a young age. He ended up marrying one, she divorced him 4 years ago after a year of marriage (she remarried). For the past 4 years he rarely if ever leaves his house, will not talk to women, wont come out with us, still talks about her at times as if they are still together (scary weird), hair turned 50% grey, all our friends have no idea why. Im only the one out 20+ people in our circle that knows wtf hes going through. So in closing, also be thankful she never came to your crib. If she did and you ended up sleeping with her, it could have ended really badly for you. And the new memories both good and bad would have been imprinted in your mind that would hunt you even further.
 

RickTheToad

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#50
So the BPD I posted about from years ago has returned and I fu*ked up. I was about 1 year totally sober from this chick. Didn't call, erased number, no contact, the works. She hits me up on my old phone saying some sappy nonsense. I held out for a month. I didn't respond even though everyday it was a struggle. Like a true recovering junkie I responded. Big mistake. Fast forward to a month later I pay for a portion of her ticket to come see me. I made her pay for a lot of it just out of principle and for the fact that she is very unpredictable. She had flaked on me many times in the past and I wasn't gonna shell out hundreds of dollars on a ticket just to get flaked on.

Sure enough about a week out she comes up with some issue. Apparently I am player and her parents don't think its right ( shes in her mid twenties adult, ex stripper who has never listened to her divorced parents ever) and that she doesn't want me to expect sex because she not giving it blah blah blah blah. Long phone call, a lot of yelling and talking over each other. A lot of her saying " I don't know what I want" etc etc. I basically got gaslighted for her not coming. It was my fault somehow.

I have made a lot of progress but relapse is always hovering over me. Its been 3 yrs since I have seen her and she still has not changed. I always imagined that she would be different. They never change. This brings back bad memories of what a borderline is like. I haven't had to deal with them for 3 years since I moved away and dated more healthy women. I think the universe did me a big favor by her not coming out here. I am going on a date with a sane women this weekend so I should be ok.
Is she still hot?
 
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stovepipe

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#52
Unfortunately yes. She is slightly older looking but she didn't let her weight balloon. She was an 8/10 before and maybe a 7.7 now. I really wish I could show pics She is super cute rather than hot. Super cute is much more dangerous than super hot.
You can upload them else where and share the link that way there is no pics posted here. Now we're all curious you keep saying you wanna post them
 

Pandora

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#53
So in closing, also be thankful she never came to your crib. If she did and you ended up sleeping with her, it could have ended really badly for you. And the new memories both good and bad would have been imprinted in your mind that would hunt you even further.
Thank you for this bro. You are right it was a blessing in disguise that she didn't come.
 

Pandora

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#54
You can upload them else where and share the link that way there is no pics posted here. Now we're all curious you keep saying you wanna post them
Im just afraid someone will find her and tell her. That happened to Backbreaker a few years ago with some girl at the gym. It wasn't cool. Lemme think of a way to do it and get back to you guys.
 
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stovepipe

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#57
Don't do anything to expose yourself on here or any other forum. It won't end well for you.
You guys are paranoid. How is he exposing himself? Who cares about posting pics of a crazy ex. As if these women dont have a social media account or pics of them someone they know posted.

Don't post your pics online, esp on forums like this one. There's significant amount of angry feminists and other wackos online, some lurking here and gathering data.
Hahhah you're scared of a feminist? Gathering data to use against you? Facepalm
 
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#58
Hahhah you're scared of a feminist? Gathering data to use against you? Facepalm
Your image is personal data and its under restrictive protection until you decide to disclose it like that (meaning without any explicitly stated restrictions) and simultaneously allow to connect information and opinions you post to your image (thus you lose anonymous status to large extent) so don't hit your head too often buddy, it certainly doesnt work to your advantage considering you can search ppl using their photos nowadays.
 

wolf

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#59
You guys are paranoid. How is he exposing himself? Who cares about posting pics of a crazy ex. As if these women dont have a social media account or pics of them someone they know posted.



Hahhah you're scared of a feminist? Gathering data to use against you? Facepalm

I'd rather not expose myself online. My posts are anonymous except for me and I would like to keep it that way. It's not about fear it's about privacy.
 

stovepipe

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#60
Your image is personal data and its under restrictive protection until you decide to disclose it like that (meaning without any explicitly stated restrictions) and simultaneously allow to connect information and opinions you post to your image (thus you lose anonymous status to large extent) so don't hit your head too often buddy, it certainly doesn't work to your advantage considering you can search ppl using their photos nowadays.
You sound like a paranoid feminist.
 
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