Rec_rejection_phobic
Don Juan
- Joined
- Nov 17, 2005
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uhhhh noo 
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Bootcamp Week#4: Lets Get Rejected!!!...
- Thread starter Swoop
- Start date
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
GodsGiftToFatBirds
Senior Don Juan
Update: got my 2nd rejection today.
Was in town getting some shopping done and got chatting to this girl in Boots (HB7.5), my opener was when we were both looking at the fragrence section, i was like 'you know you're in the mens section now' and took it from there, talked for a couple of minutes, then bought what i wanted (Gucci Envy ), then drifted round the shop to deliberately bump into her again, she smiled and was like 'you got what you wanted?', i'm like 'yeh, you?', she's like 'yeh' and showed me, i'm like 'cool, you wearing it out tonight?' (this was the key line cos it opened the convo right up), we then chatted for like 10 minutes more and as we left i asked for her number, she was like 'oh i would but i'm actually going through a divorce right now!', i'm like '**** how old are you?', shes like 'i'm 26', i'm like 'jeez i thought you were like 21 or 22 or summat, nah you're not 26, you got ID on you?', shes like 'i'm really flattered but i am actually 26!'
So that was my 2nd rejection (after 2 and a half days), need to step up the pace a bit but i'm off out tonight so should get sh!tloads tonight, more later.
Was in town getting some shopping done and got chatting to this girl in Boots (HB7.5), my opener was when we were both looking at the fragrence section, i was like 'you know you're in the mens section now' and took it from there, talked for a couple of minutes, then bought what i wanted (Gucci Envy
), then drifted round the shop to deliberately bump into her again, she smiled and was like 'you got what you wanted?', i'm like 'yeh, you?', she's like 'yeh' and showed me, i'm like 'cool, you wearing it out tonight?' (this was the key line cos it opened the convo right up), we then chatted for like 10 minutes more and as we left i asked for her number, she was like 'oh i would but i'm actually going through a divorce right now!', i'm like '**** how old are you?', shes like 'i'm 26', i'm like 'jeez i thought you were like 21 or 22 or summat, nah you're not 26, you got ID on you?', shes like 'i'm really flattered but i am actually 26!'So that was my 2nd rejection (after 2 and a half days), need to step up the pace a bit but i'm off out tonight so should get sh!tloads tonight, more later.
scorpio king
Don Juan
5 rejections
Still sarged even if afflicted with cold.
This is how I am determined.
Still sarged even if afflicted with cold.
This is how I am determined.
lol i got rejected a lot tonight and i didnt really try to. I guess **** happens lol. Wasnt my night at the mall but week 4 is about getteing rejected so thats good i had 10 rejections tonight dam tonight was rough . but the whole point of week 4 get rejected so i guess i passed week 4
. but the whole point of week 4 get rejected so i guess i passed week 4Week 4, Friday
Went bowling today and saw this cute chick that looked very familiar. I went up to her and ask if I know her. Before I could get going, she shot me down and turn away. That was one quick rejection.
6 rejections, 4 more to go. Only 2 more days left, hopefully I can get it done.
Went bowling today and saw this cute chick that looked very familiar. I went up to her and ask if I know her. Before I could get going, she shot me down and turn away. That was one quick rejection.
6 rejections, 4 more to go. Only 2 more days left, hopefully I can get it done.
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
scorpio king
Don Juan
I feel ya dude, one even said to me "Sorry I dont talk to strangers"
Week 4, Saturday
Had to work, didn't have time to go out to find someone to approach so I decided to approach my female coworker who I have a crush on for a while. I waited the whole day to catch her alone so other coworkers won't hear it. So finally a moment came and I ask her out and she said "I am dating someone right now." She was giving me this sympathy face as not to hurt my feelings. This rejection definitely stings more than the rest. I'm not too fanzy about dating coworkers but I kinda wanted to see what would happen instead of wonder. Damn, too bad I can't go back in time and take this approach back haha.
Oh well, 7 down and 3 more to go. That means I have to get 3 rejections tomorrow. Gonna be tough.
Had to work, didn't have time to go out to find someone to approach so I decided to approach my female coworker who I have a crush on for a while. I waited the whole day to catch her alone so other coworkers won't hear it. So finally a moment came and I ask her out and she said "I am dating someone right now." She was giving me this sympathy face as not to hurt my feelings. This rejection definitely stings more than the rest. I'm not too fanzy about dating coworkers but I kinda wanted to see what would happen instead of wonder. Damn, too bad I can't go back in time and take this approach back haha.
Oh well, 7 down and 3 more to go. That means I have to get 3 rejections tomorrow. Gonna be tough.
Swoop, you really impress me!
You put yourself out there more so than most people on this site..And you keep hanging in there. Your replies are inspirational, even though they don't always turn successful.
Keep it up dude. You are destined to be successful with women they way you are trying and failing!!
You put yourself out there more so than most people on this site..And you keep hanging in there. Your replies are inspirational, even though they don't always turn successful.
Keep it up dude. You are destined to be successful with women they way you are trying and failing!!
5 rejections.
1 number - HB 8.5 in produce section at super market. I almost did not approach her. I asked her how the strawberries looked. I then mention the high price (they are out of season). I then ask if she is single. She says yes and comments how weird it is to be picked up in the grocery store. I get number.
I am finding the 3 second rule is critical in the approach and am trying to focus on improving the process rather than the results.
fan27
1 number - HB 8.5 in produce section at super market. I almost did not approach her. I asked her how the strawberries looked. I then mention the high price (they are out of season). I then ask if she is single. She says yes and comments how weird it is to be picked up in the grocery store. I get number.
I am finding the 3 second rule is critical in the approach and am trying to focus on improving the process rather than the results.
fan27
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Thanks for the feedback. It helps me continue to try even though I got knock down so many times now.
I don't know about destined to be successful with women. But I want to know at least I gave it a try. Speaking of that, I need to go out now and get 3 more rejections.. cya later.
Week 4, Sunday
Went out to look for hbs to get rejected. Forgot on sundays, most places closed early so I spent most of my time driving around town. I remember Blockbuster always stay open late so I decided to go there. Went there and didn't see any cute girls in the store, just a couple of kids and some other dudes. But there was this semi-cute looking girl that works there. I decided to approach her. Went up to her:
Swoop: "Hi, do you know when does Wedding Crasher comes out?"
BBgirl: "January"
Swoop: "damn, that's a long time away. Can you recommend another comedy?"
BBgirl: "Yea, Longest Yard, just came out, it's the one with Adam Sandler, it's very funny."
Swoop: "Ok I'll check it out."
So I went away and pretend to check out the movie... then went back to her..
Swoop: "One last question, are you single by any chance?"
BBgirl: "No, I'm not."
Swoop: "Oh thought I ask."
Then I left the store..
Drove around town some more and decided to go to the bar I used to frequent but it happened to be closed. Yikes, where else can I go? So I kept driving around town some more and found a Smith Grocery store that opens late, and went inside. Well, it looks like when girls go to grocery stores at night they come with their boyfriends, cuz that's what I see. I didn't have any target except the super cute cashier, but the line was huge and I was thinking whether to ask her out or not but she ring me up so fast I didnt have time to process my thoughts and there were people waiting so I decided to pass and left. Oh well, at least I got some shopping done.
I guess it's no use trying to find girls this late so I went home. So that's 1 rejection for today. That leaves me 2 rejections short of the goal of 10. That's ok, I'll incorperate it into next week since it's about getting more numbers and dates. I'm not sure I can get dates, I'm having trouble getting numbers. One thing I learn from this past week is, rejection isn't too bad but getting results is very tough. If you approach a girl out cold without buiding interests but only show your interests, you will usually end up getting rejected, at least for me it has been the case. I need to work up some different approach.
Went out to look for hbs to get rejected. Forgot on sundays, most places closed early so I spent most of my time driving around town. I remember Blockbuster always stay open late so I decided to go there. Went there and didn't see any cute girls in the store, just a couple of kids and some other dudes. But there was this semi-cute looking girl that works there. I decided to approach her. Went up to her:
Swoop: "Hi, do you know when does Wedding Crasher comes out?"
BBgirl: "January"
Swoop: "damn, that's a long time away. Can you recommend another comedy?"
BBgirl: "Yea, Longest Yard, just came out, it's the one with Adam Sandler, it's very funny."
Swoop: "Ok I'll check it out."
So I went away and pretend to check out the movie... then went back to her..
Swoop: "One last question, are you single by any chance?"
BBgirl: "No, I'm not."
Swoop: "Oh thought I ask."
Then I left the store..
Drove around town some more and decided to go to the bar I used to frequent but it happened to be closed. Yikes, where else can I go? So I kept driving around town some more and found a Smith Grocery store that opens late, and went inside. Well, it looks like when girls go to grocery stores at night they come with their boyfriends, cuz that's what I see. I didn't have any target except the super cute cashier, but the line was huge and I was thinking whether to ask her out or not but she ring me up so fast I didnt have time to process my thoughts and there were people waiting so I decided to pass and left. Oh well, at least I got some shopping done.
I guess it's no use trying to find girls this late so I went home. So that's 1 rejection for today. That leaves me 2 rejections short of the goal of 10. That's ok, I'll incorperate it into next week since it's about getting more numbers and dates. I'm not sure I can get dates, I'm having trouble getting numbers. One thing I learn from this past week is, rejection isn't too bad but getting results is very tough. If you approach a girl out cold without buiding interests but only show your interests, you will usually end up getting rejected, at least for me it has been the case. I need to work up some different approach.
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RBB
Senior Don Juan
Bootcamp '05, so who's still alive?
It's like the last scene of The Last Samurai. I see fallen DJs along the green fields of weeks 1-4. Heh, it looks to me a slaughter. I'm sure everyone has their battle wounds to show and stories to tell now. But getting this far in BC has granted me the greatest feeling of achievement. I'm sure you have the same feeling. It's been a good journey. So let's continue..
Week#4 is taking two weeks for more of you. Well so what? Every man, every BC soldier, will shoulder by shoulder march through to greater self achievement and self improvement.
By the end of thursday I'll have my 10 rejections and will be able to do Bootcamp week#5. I think the only BCer who has 'swooped' gracefully into week#5 would be Swoop.
So, I guess everyone else would want more time like me. I have enough numbers I've gotten throughout BC to do week#5. But MOTU probably wanted us budding DJs to get all TEN rejections to achieve the iron skin we all need.
I'm getting to week#5 no matter what. I'll see you there! Hai!!!
It's like the last scene of The Last Samurai. I see fallen DJs along the green fields of weeks 1-4. Heh, it looks to me a slaughter. I'm sure everyone has their battle wounds to show and stories to tell now. But getting this far in BC has granted me the greatest feeling of achievement. I'm sure you have the same feeling. It's been a good journey. So let's continue..
Week#4 is taking two weeks for more of you. Well so what? Every man, every BC soldier, will shoulder by shoulder march through to greater self achievement and self improvement.
By the end of thursday I'll have my 10 rejections and will be able to do Bootcamp week#5. I think the only BCer who has 'swooped' gracefully into week#5 would be Swoop.
So, I guess everyone else would want more time like me. I have enough numbers I've gotten throughout BC to do week#5. But MOTU probably wanted us budding DJs to get all TEN rejections to achieve the iron skin we all need.
I'm getting to week#5 no matter what. I'll see you there! Hai!!!
scorpio king
Don Juan
yeah I think I need some more time. My cold is disturbing me.
well i certaintly haven' completed week four but today i got another number from some hb7. i used some c+f and mostly small talk. i also got a real cold rejection from some girl that i talked to. everytime i would say something she would just nod yes or no and then give me a cold look so i decided to just stop talking. for week 4 so far i have gotten 2#s, one email and 7 rejections.
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
Post Week 4, extra day.
After I got off work, I went to my local hangout at the bar. Shot some pools and just chill with some bar buddies, waiting for the chicks to arrive. Finally 2 nice pair showed up. So this time, I finally follow through with the 3s rule:
Swoop: "Hi, are you guys playing?" (refering to pool)
HB7: "Yea, I'll play."
Swoop: "How about you?" (asking HB6.5)
HB6.5: "No I don't play."
So I put money in the pool and then proceed to have a game with HB7. She sucks but she has a very sexy pose when she shoots. Yummy!
So I carry a conversation with HB6.5 while HB7 shoots. We talked about what she doing, apparently she is divorsed and is living with her aunt.
As I was cleaning the table, I scratched on the 8 ball and lost the game. That made HB7 happy so I guess I didn't mind losing. Then I ask if she wants to play another game so I can get my revenge. We proceed to play another one. I told her "No way I'm losing this next game." HB7 was like "Oh really?!"" trying to mock me. So things were going smooth at this point.
Then I proceed to focus on the game and at the same time checking HB7 nice ass haha. I clean the table again and back on the 8 ball, and then time I was careful not to scratch and won.
HB7: "Ok, you beat me!"
Swoop: "Yup, good game"
Then we sat down at the table to take a break from the game. And I was there with both of the girls, just chatting. I started the convo with HB7 by asking her "So, are you divorsed too? what's your story?" She basically begin telling me "No, never been engage actually,.... I guess I'm kinda picky." So then I go into asking her what type of man is she looking for. I was gonna use the ideal man routine to redirect it to me... the situation was perfect. So I thought. Next thing I know, this big guy sits down by HB7. They know each other somewhat. I am witnessing my first AMOG situation and I lost control. The guy has both girls focus on him. and I was just staring and listening. He was more focus on chatting with HB7, and I decided to do something and chat with HB6.5. We talk about her kid and thanksgiving stuff. I ask what's she doing for thanksgiving. And she basically said she might not do anything.. and I decide to ask her if she wants, we can do something. I made sure I didnt' speak too loud where the other 2 people could hear me. And HB6.5 responded "Oh that's nice but I am not looking for a relationship right now." Then I said "Oh that's cool." The moment right now is pretty awkward so I decided to eject and go play some more pool.
Later, the AMOG left the table. And HB7 decides to play another round with me. After our game. I shoot her hand and said "Well, I gotta take off, it was fun playing with ya." At this moment I was thinkng should I ask for the number. I already got shot down by her friend... so my confidence was at a low. But fvck it. I ask her.. "hey we should definitely play again, let me get your # and I'll call you up when I play." She said something like she is in the process of moving (which is true, I heard her speak about it in the conversation with the AMOG) and said she doesn't have a phone right now. Well, I didn't press any further (not sure if she is lying or not but oh well) and said "I come here often so we'll play again when I see you." Afterwards, I shake her hand and then went over to HB6.5 and shake her hand and left.
Damn, that was my first 2 set approach and I was doing so well until that stupid AMOG showed up and threw me off my game. Oh well, at least I got the last 2 rejections I needed to complete week 4.
Week 5, here I come. I need to go and collect some numbers though.
After I got off work, I went to my local hangout at the bar. Shot some pools and just chill with some bar buddies, waiting for the chicks to arrive. Finally 2 nice pair showed up. So this time, I finally follow through with the 3s rule:
Swoop: "Hi, are you guys playing?" (refering to pool)
HB7: "Yea, I'll play."
Swoop: "How about you?" (asking HB6.5)
HB6.5: "No I don't play."
So I put money in the pool and then proceed to have a game with HB7. She sucks but she has a very sexy pose when she shoots. Yummy!
So I carry a conversation with HB6.5 while HB7 shoots. We talked about what she doing, apparently she is divorsed and is living with her aunt.
As I was cleaning the table, I scratched on the 8 ball and lost the game. That made HB7 happy so I guess I didn't mind losing. Then I ask if she wants to play another game so I can get my revenge. We proceed to play another one. I told her "No way I'm losing this next game." HB7 was like "Oh really?!"" trying to mock me. So things were going smooth at this point.
Then I proceed to focus on the game and at the same time checking HB7 nice ass haha. I clean the table again and back on the 8 ball, and then time I was careful not to scratch and won.
HB7: "Ok, you beat me!"
Swoop: "Yup, good game"
Then we sat down at the table to take a break from the game. And I was there with both of the girls, just chatting. I started the convo with HB7 by asking her "So, are you divorsed too? what's your story?" She basically begin telling me "No, never been engage actually,.... I guess I'm kinda picky." So then I go into asking her what type of man is she looking for. I was gonna use the ideal man routine to redirect it to me... the situation was perfect. So I thought. Next thing I know, this big guy sits down by HB7. They know each other somewhat. I am witnessing my first AMOG situation and I lost control. The guy has both girls focus on him. and I was just staring and listening. He was more focus on chatting with HB7, and I decided to do something and chat with HB6.5. We talk about her kid and thanksgiving stuff. I ask what's she doing for thanksgiving. And she basically said she might not do anything.. and I decide to ask her if she wants, we can do something. I made sure I didnt' speak too loud where the other 2 people could hear me. And HB6.5 responded "Oh that's nice but I am not looking for a relationship right now." Then I said "Oh that's cool." The moment right now is pretty awkward so I decided to eject and go play some more pool.
Later, the AMOG left the table. And HB7 decides to play another round with me. After our game. I shoot her hand and said "Well, I gotta take off, it was fun playing with ya." At this moment I was thinkng should I ask for the number. I already got shot down by her friend... so my confidence was at a low. But fvck it. I ask her.. "hey we should definitely play again, let me get your # and I'll call you up when I play." She said something like she is in the process of moving (which is true, I heard her speak about it in the conversation with the AMOG) and said she doesn't have a phone right now. Well, I didn't press any further (not sure if she is lying or not but oh well) and said "I come here often so we'll play again when I see you." Afterwards, I shake her hand and then went over to HB6.5 and shake her hand and left.
Damn, that was my first 2 set approach and I was doing so well until that stupid AMOG showed up and threw me off my game. Oh well, at least I got the last 2 rejections I needed to complete week 4.
Week 5, here I come. I need to go and collect some numbers though.
Can't really blame those fallen samurais. Bootcamp is tough. I barely made it through week 4. There were so many times I chicken out. One thing I kept in my mind before an approach is I rather live with rejection than regret. And it helps me move my ass forward.
GodsGiftToFatBirds
Senior Don Juan
To update my situation, I'm putting it on hold for a couple of weeks, I've got a hell of an important couple of weeks career wise this week and next, and this combined with my weights schedule and part-time job means that week 4 of bootcamp is really 1 extra thing to think about at the moment for me.
But I'll definately get back on it week after next when I've got more time.
To be honest, I've probably actually got 10 rejections although I haven't been keeping count - I went out sober both Friday and last night (for an hour - I was bored of studying!) and probably got blown off enough times to make 10 in total. But I wanna do it again keeping count and make them all daytime approaches, since they take a lot more balls IMO.
Last night was a lesson in persistence really, I think I'd made 3 attempts to chat to girls (it can be 10 times harder sober in a bar/club when everyone else is pissed), getting quick responses before they'd turn back to their friends, but the 4th approach I made got a much better response (opened with 'who ya checking out then?' to a girl (HB6.5) looking down at the dancefloor from on the balcony), we got chatting and I ended up taking her home - I offered her a lift, as I lived near her, then halfway home was like 'you could come round mine watch a film for a bit if you like, not for too long tho cos i gotta be up in the morning', she was like 'yeh maybe', i was like 'its left here then' and took the car in the direction of my flat (haha, I timed that perfect), we ended up in bed till like half 4 in the morning, didn't have full sex, she was a virgin, but did everything else
.That's gotta be the last time I go out for a couple weeks though, I gotta be really focused on my career preparation now.
'who said owt bout a relationship?!' - you could have quite possibly turned this around.
You're doing great overall though.
silverfox
Don Juan
Man - big props to Swoop. Dude, you are really putting it out there.
I joined this bootcamp late so am trying to do weeks 1-3 in 2 weeks at the moment.
My buddy (wing) and I are getting set for week 4. Is the secret goal to really try and get numbers? To make things interesting we decided we will send each other to approach with a cheesy movie quote.
The worst one we have so far is from Chronicles of Rid**** - Vin Diesel walks over to Thandie Newton, sniffs around her and says, "It's been a long time since I smelled beautiful."
Whoever fronts with that one will not have to buy any beers that night.
I joined this bootcamp late so am trying to do weeks 1-3 in 2 weeks at the moment.
My buddy (wing) and I are getting set for week 4. Is the secret goal to really try and get numbers? To make things interesting we decided we will send each other to approach with a cheesy movie quote.
The worst one we have so far is from Chronicles of Rid**** - Vin Diesel walks over to Thandie Newton, sniffs around her and says, "It's been a long time since I smelled beautiful."
Whoever fronts with that one will not have to buy any beers that night.
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.