"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
Boot Camp Thread (Opening May 2nd)
- Thread starter One on One
- Start date
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Microphone Fiend
Master Don Juan
Wonderbread166
Senior Don Juan
Microphone Fiend
Master Don Juan
One on One
Master Don Juan
Well, I didn't finish Week 1 so I'm going to use next week to try and finish it. I was out of town the last two days and very busy, but I was still rather productive with the Boot Camp. I said some Hi's and had some good conversations too. I'm going to credit myself 5 Hi's and that puts my total at 12. I need 38 more. Sorry I can't keep up the pace, but hopefully I am improving.
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
locrian
Don Juan
5/8/2004
Exercise 1: went to the mall and walked around for 1/5 hour, looking at peoples’ eyes and making eye contact with as many people as I could. I found that most people will not look at your eyes, I made fleeting eye contact with 5 people (out of probably 100), who would see my eyes and look away within one second.
Exercise 2: said hi to 5 people while rock climbing outside as they walked past on the trail. They’re very open to saying hi, maybe it’s a common bond of outdoorsy-ness. 45 to go!
CGE333
Senior Don Juan
One good thing that did happen-although too bad the girl is like 16, I was at a coffee shop this morning and the hottie behind the counter had a tired/sour look on her face so when she asked me if I wanted anything else I said a smile. Her face lit up and the entire time I was in there she would look over at me and smile.
horserotorvator
Don Juan
I started week one on Thursday but I've already got the 50 hi's and E/C so I'll just say I'm finished today and start week 2 with everybody else.
You are no longer no one, a invertabrae in the crowd, instead you almost command attention. I love that thrill. Dont bottle out, everyone should keep going on this as it is so wonderful.
"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
Went out for boot camp training twice today and the results?
Well the first outing i went to the mall and it was fairly crowded but every hb was there with there family it seemed
then when ever i had a chance to get a hi out i choked! it was very fustrating..couldn't pull myself to do it no matter what....but was finally able to get one on this chick...on a positive note i finished my eye contact for the most part on this outing
the second outing i went awhile later so i could regather myself...i go to campus and since this weekend was graduation there were people still out...i worked really hard on this outing and was in better spirits....i got a total of 12 hi's out this outing (10 were hb's) ...i put the most effort in this outing than any of the other ones i have in this bootcamp (didn't finish cause finding people started to become hard)
Any how 15more hi's to go then week 2!
Lost
Master Don Juan
Well.. today was sorta hit or miss... id either be totally on or totally off with the eye contact thing
also.. i need to concentrate more.. cuz my mind was barely on the bootcamp assignment... guess since were doin all these ap exams and finals are next week...
Wonderbread166
Senior Don Juan
horserotorvator
Don Juan
Not much happened today. Went to check out a job opportunity at a retirement home, and had a 40 second convo with the manager. Other than that, nothing. Last night I was pretty happy about finishing week 1 but that confidence seems to have evaporated this morning. Kinda pissed at myself for not trying harder but there's always another day. Gotta keep trying..
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
TheCollector
Don Juan
Lost
Master Don Juan
me personally im gonna keep doing it till i can do it unconciously.. like motor reflexes.
anyways..
Week1 Day 7
Today was like yesterday
i REALLY gotta CONCENTRATE on it more .... i just forgot about it for most of the day.....
CGE333
Senior Don Juan
I have made up 5 Hi's from week one and I have have 2 covo's this week so far.
Something i learned thats important to success in bootcamp or just success in general is to set some goals.
First, make up your long term boot camp goals or whatever it is you want to get out of bootcamp. Then make up your short term boot camp goals...these are basically what you want to accomplish in a day (These are important because when you add them all up they equal your long term goal)
It would be in everyone's best interest to post there long term boot camp goals here for everyone to see and write them down as well and keep them in a place where you'll constantly see them. Short term goals don't need to be posted but every morning write down what it is you want to accomplish with bootcamp for that particular day....(Ex) for tomorrow mine is to talk with 3 strangers for at least 2minutes
and my long term bootcamp goals
EFFORT'S BOOTCAMP GOALS
1. To no longer fear approaching females i find attractive
2. Have the confidence to approach a chick in any situation, establish a good rapport, and leave with her number
3. Become better at communicating with people in general
and remeber that your goals will probably change as you make progress so its ok to change them!
The best of luck boot camping to everyone!
Lost
Master Don Juan
Same as yesterday pretty much...... i gotta concentrate more.. the few times i thought of bootcamp id just not look at ppl most of the time........ i gotta keep 100 percent concentration to force myself to do it.
"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.