Body language refresher course..

[cola]

Chest up, chin high always.
Never cover your genitals, ‘means your manhood feels threatened.
Never look down, if you have the urge to look down look up.

When walking head should be high to the point of almost absurdity. Chest poked out, shoulders back while taking deliberate moderately paced steps. Not too slow and not too fast.

This alone increases your perceived value a million points.
I noticed my body language has been slipping lately, thought maybe somebody else could use the reminder.

People literally respond different when you take all this into account.

 

[Visionist]

My body language is tied into my familiarity with a place and what I'm wearing.

If I'm dressed fly, I'll swagger, strut like a peacock. Big, slow steps, heel - toe, heel - toe. Arms held out from my upper body as I swing them gently in time to my torso's movements. Nose pointed in the air, a casual smirk on my lips. The more extravagantly I'm dressed, the more exaggerated my strut becomes, almost but not quite to the point of parody.

Same thing used to happen when I walked into work, as I was very popular with customers and everybody knew it.



Flipside, when I'm dressed boring, I can even stumble sometimes, my footsteps are out of tune and I generally make no effort. I think it's an instinct to "live up to" what I'm wearing.

 

[Bible_Belt]

Reading other people's body language is important, too. Never approach from behind. It scares people. I learned that in sales.

 

[Poonani Maker]

When I jump rope for half an hour or more non-stop I keep my gaze to the ceiling visualizing a woman or a goal or a future happenstance I want to happen. Sometimes I'll gaze to the left fixated on a doornob or peephole or hook on the wall or some pinpoint to focus on. Keeping that locked on while jumping or moving is good practice. A wide receiver may receive a football that way.

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

This whole body language pop psychology shi*t is really annoying to me. Your body language is often unique to yourself and there are not universal signals that are so easily read. Beyond maintaining a good posture (straight back, square shoulders, tight core), the rest of it is trivial and unimportant. If you focus so much on your body language you'll just be self conscious anyway.

Almost all of nonverbal communication comes down to your eyes. And by that I don't just mean where you look and how long you hold eye contact (both of which do matter of course), but the actual physical appearance of your eyes and eye socket area. Your eyes are literally an extension of your brain, and they broadcast your internal state far more than anything else, and this is entirely out of your control. Focus on changing your internal state and trust that your nonverbal signals will naturally follow. Forcibly changing your body language is pointless and incongruent when your eyes are communicating something else.

 

[HyenaPrince]

This whole body language pop psychology shi*t is really annoying to me. Your body language is often unique to yourself and there are not universal signals that are so easily read. Beyond maintaining a good posture (straight back, square shoulders, tight core), the rest of it is trivial and unimportant. If you focus so much on your body language you'll just be self conscious anyway.

Almost all of nonverbal communication comes down to your eyes. And by that I don't just mean where you look and how long you hold eye contact (both of which do matter of course), but the actual physical appearance of your eyes and eye socket area. Your eyes are literally an extension of your brain, and they broadcast your internal state far more than anything else, and this is entirely out of your control. Focus on changing your internal state and trust that your nonverbal signals will naturally follow. Forcibly changing your body language is pointless and incongruent when your eyes are communicating something else.

I agree. When you roll your shoulders back and keep a straight back, you're good to go. Moving about 10% slower than your usual pace is also beneficial for your charisma. If you're twitchy and antsy, I'd say 30-40%. When you seem like you have all the time in the world and can't be bothered by a single person, you're radiating confidence.

This is also very efficient if you're suddenly in a situation that requires you to move fast. For example if someone is in danger or even in a dangerous confrontation. It will be unexpected and surprise or even startle a lot of people.

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

I agree. When you roll your shoulders back and keep a straight back, you're good to go. Moving about 10% slower than your usual pace is also beneficial for your charisma. If you're twitchy and antsy, I'd say 30-40%. When you seem like you have all the time in the world and can't be bothered by a single person, you're radiating confidence.

This is also very efficient if you're suddenly in a situation that requires you to move fast. For example if someone is in danger or even in a dangerous confrontation. It will be unexpected and surprise or even startle a lot of people.

Your pace, "twitchiness", posture, etc will almost certainly be reflective of your internal state anyway, so it only makes sense to focus on that first unless you have a legitimate physical disorder of some kind.

You let body language annoy you and forcibly changing it but then refer to a feature you literally cannot change unless you can spontaneously alter your skull.
Both have merit. I wouldn't let it bother you to the point of annoyance.

You can change the appearance of your eyes, indirectly, by focusing on your internal state. It's all very subtle differences but most people can pick up on that immediately even though its almost entirely sub/unconsciously interpreted.

I always have a poker face sort of expression, but my eyes often communicate enough that people can often accurately estimate what type of mental state I am in, especially if its a particularly strong emotional state.

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

Pearce the pupils. Eye sockets cannot be changed.
I think what your referring to is "talking with the eyes"

You can also change the area around the eyes through diet, sleep, and to some degree with your mood. The actual sockets in your skull, no.

 

[HyenaPrince]

Your pace, "twitchiness", posture, etc will almost certainly be reflective of your internal state anyway, so it only makes sense to focus on that first unless you have a legitimate physical disorder of some kind.

Sometimes it's not possible to alter your internal state by changing your thought patterns. By forcing yourself to slow down, your mind follows your body.

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

Sometimes it's not possible to alter your internal state by changing your thought patterns. By forcing yourself to slow down, your mind follows your body.

I would say your breathing would be far more effective, slow inhales through the nose with the diaphragm can work wonders.

Also yes you cannot change your thoughts or emotions as a sort of "CEO controller" but you can change your relationship to them by simply observing them with nonattachment which in turn changes them indirectly. That's a core principle of Zen.

 

[nicksaiz65]

Reading other people's body language is important, too. Never approach from behind. It scares people. I learned that in sales.

Get in front of them, make eye contact, say excuse me, and then hit her with her opener.

 

[HyenaPrince]

I would say your breathing would be far more effective, slow inhales through the nose with the diaphragm can work wonders.

Also yes you cannot change your thoughts or emotions as a sort of "CEO controller" but you can change your relationship to them by simply observing them with nonattachment which in turn changes them indirectly. That's a core principle of Zen.

Breathing is indeed very efficient. Pure life energy.

 

[BeExcellent]

Because I am accustomed to business travel all the time I go out to dinner alone constantly and have done for many years. I always hold my head up, back straight, shoulders back/open and I have a slow but deliberate sashay where my hips and arms swing naturally. But I also keep the attitude in my mind that any where I go...I OWN it.

I own who I am, how I look and how I interact with the world. I’m open and inquisitive with people, smile and laugh easily and enjoy good conversation.

People are drawn to me by no small measure because of my body posture and radiant attitude. It’s more that than my looks I believe...and my looks are good on their own merits.

Confidence is everything. You exude confidence in your posture as well as your attitude and you’ll always have doors open and a place at the table for you.

I’ve started dating someone recently. When I met him I had on zero make up and was in a t-shirt & jeans. While he thought I was very pretty & liked my figure...what prompted him to ask me for my number AND ask me out all at once was my confidence and self assured vibe...and a little sass too, not gonna lie.

He is totally secure in himself and in his own skin. Rock solid. Exudes confidence and IDGAF. But he’s also attentive and kind. Sexy AF. Just sayin’

 

[BeExcellent]

It is unfortunate you are so bitter @stringpuller

Make up can’t hide an unfit body or bad skin. Make up can’t hide unhealthy hair.

My body is in shape, hair is long and thick, skin is supple and clear, teeth are white. My avatar is a recent photo. Trust me, I look good. No hair extensions, no lip injections, no boob job or plastic surgery. Just good healthy lifestyle and lucky genetics.

Furthermore my attitude is positive, grateful and appreciative. Make up doesn’t enhance that either.

I find it odd that you need to hurl insults and ad hominem attacks, especially as a happily married man...but that’s your business.

He is 54. Former Abercrombie model, former college athlete in several sports. He’s handsome, rugged, intense and driven. He’s 6’10” and 275lbs with a swimmer’s physique.

So I’m doing just fine. I’m an outlier physically. Which I am grateful for every day.

He likes not only how I look but also my personality and intelligence and sense of humor & fun. He likes my frame of reference.

Men like him (and other men I have been in relationships with) can get hot women with great bodies and beautiful faces All. The. Time. So they look for qualities that stand out above and beyond great looks. Total package women are rare. Men who can easily attain gorgeous women understand that better than men who have never had that kind of abundance.

Gotta run. Things to do & friends to meet.

Cheers

 

[metalwater]

He is totally secure in himself and in his own skin. Rock solid. Exudes confidence and IDGAF. But he’s also attentive and kind. Sexy AF. Just sayin’

Write that down in some special spot and every week at the same time take it out and go for a walk alone and remember what you wrote. Unless the guy does something really stupid...

 

[BeExcellent]

Write that down in some special spot and every week at the same time take it out and go for a walk alone and remember what you wrote. Unless the guy does something really stupid...

Those are the qualities I most admire and most appreciate. Those qualities are the reasons I want to spend time with him. He is a man and he leads. That allows me to relax into being the woman, which is as it should be.

 

[metalwater]

Those are the qualities I most admire and most appreciate. Those qualities are the reasons I want to spend time with him. He is a man and he leads. That allows me to relax into being the woman, which is as it should be.

He is 54. Former Abercrombie model, former college athlete in several sports. He’s handsome, rugged, intense and driven. He’s 6’10” and 275lbs with a swimmer’s physique.

does this have nothing to do with it? eh..

 

[Lynx nkaf]

It is unfortunate you are so bitter @stringpuller

Make up can’t hide an unfit body or bad skin. Make up can’t hide unhealthy hair.

My body is in shape, hair is long and thick, skin is supple and clear, teeth are white. My avatar is a recent photo. Trust me, I look good. No hair extensions, no lip injections, no boob job or plastic surgery. Just good healthy lifestyle and lucky genetics.

Furthermore my attitude is positive, grateful and appreciative. Make up doesn’t enhance that either.

I find it odd that you need to hurl insults and ad hominem attacks, especially as a happily married man...but that’s your business.

He is 54. Former Abercrombie model, former college athlete in several sports. He’s handsome, rugged, intense and driven. He’s 6’10” and 275lbs with a swimmer’s physique.

So I’m doing just fine. I’m an outlier physically. Which I am grateful for every day.

He likes not only how I look but also my personality and intelligence and sense of humor & fun. He likes my frame of reference.

Men like him (and other men I have been in relationships with) can get hot women with great bodies and beautiful faces All. The. Time. So they look for qualities that stand out above and beyond great looks. Total package women are rare. Men who can easily attain gorgeous women understand that better than men who have never had that kind of abundance.

Gotta run. Things to do & friends to meet.

Cheers

score on the body game...former athlete w/swimmer's physique?
Remember to provide public forum, suitable- for-work pics(or it didn't happen)



Just joking(no I'm not) that's what I've read that guys say to each other about new HB women.

Congrats, Be, hang on to him and stay submissive.
Genuinely happy/content for you!

 

[metalwater]

He is 54. Former Abercrombie model, former college athlete in several sports. He’s handsome, rugged, intense and driven. He’s 6’10” and 275lbs with a swimmer’s physique.

does this have nothing to do with it? eh..

I think you need both and have had a lot of time to figure out what you like, and you're able to get it. I always enjoy your ideas. For sure you will find a crack in this new guys frame. If you do that thing every week and remember; when the crack shows you might be ok with it.

 

[Lynx nkaf]

Women hanging out here are already cracked bro. And wonder what their men would think if they knew.
Ofcourse they don't know nor would they tell them.

not looking rn and I tell/show any and everything to whatever man I'm with...including following his direction to stop this forum membership if he asks.
Umm, coming up on 7 months since I last saw ex in person.

Keep going after your purpose stringpuller; when you get insult-y there must be a block to your work/purpose/passion.
Its almost cyclical with you, have you noticed?