"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Bill Maher on Feminism

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Francisco d'Anconia

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:crackup: Oh I needed that... Someone needs to give him a show again.

LONG LIVE THE STREET CAT!
 

azanon

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Francisco d'Anconia said:
:crackup: Oh I needed that... Someone needs to give him a show again.
He's had one on HBO. The new season/first episode airs August 24.

Long live Bill Maher!
 

“The 22 Psychological Triggers That Make Women Chase You… Starting Tonight”

Forget the cash, the cars, and the chiseled jawlines. Female desire operates on a completely different frequency. Primal. Subconscious. Triggers that bypass her logic and hit her on a gut level. Most guys are totally blind to them.

I know because I was one of them. The overthinking. The paralysis. The silent drive home kicking yourself for freezing up. Watching average guys walk away with the girl while you stood there stuck in your own head.

Then I decoded the psychology behind what actually makes women tick. 22 hard rules.  Subtle behavioral shifts that rewired my entire reality. The anxiety evaporated. Women started leaning in. Investing. Chasing.

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Bonhomme

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:crackup: :crackup: :crackup:

Right fvcking on, Bill!
 

MrS

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Hahaha, that's pretty good.
I think I play it safe too much.
 

azanon

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Just watched it; the guy's brilliant. This is a must-see everyone.
 

comic_relief

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I love you, Bill Maher.

I watched him for two or three years.

comic_relief
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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Francisco d'Anconia

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Deep Dish

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Francisco d'Anconia said:
I don't know... Gotta wonder whenever they have you use canned laughter.
It's clearly not canned.
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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Deep Dish said:
It's clearly not canned.
So how do you attribute starting and ending in unision, the perfect timing with the actors, the fact that the jokes weren't really that good?
 

Deep Dish

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While the first wave of laughter (0:05-0:07) is rather symmetrical, the subsequent laughters are asymmetrical (for example, 0:48-0:56 has laughter with applause, 1:03-1:06 is laughter continued from 0:59-1:01, and 1:21-1:26 has two distinct waves of laughter). Throughout the whole routine, laughter begins with different strengths but then asymmetrically fades out, sometimes followed by applause or more laughter. Furthermore, at 2:24 we see it's not a television studio. It's probably not Broadway but it's a full auditorium. It's a full audience with two balconies of people; everyone is animated, clapping, eliminating the possibility of cardboard stick figures. Unlike television studios, there's no red sign above Maher to indicate when to "LAUGH RIGHT NOW".

And perfect timing? That's how these things go.

By way of comparison, there's this video of Lewis Black, far and away the funniest comedian alive today. He, too, is on a stage, verifiably, and the audience laughter shares all the same characteristics. Except the auditorium's interior decorating is far better, of course, and Lewis is far better.
The fact that the jokes weren't really that good?
There we are. You simply didn't find him funny. That's fine, and in fact I would rate Maher medium on the funny scale, but just don't add the bullsh*t.
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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Deep Dish said:
While the first wave of laughter (0:05-0:07) is rather symmetrical, the subsequent laughters are asymmetrical (for example, 0:48-0:56 has laughter with applause, 1:03-1:06 is laughter continued from 0:59-1:01, and 1:21-1:26 has two distinct waves of laughter). Throughout the whole routine, laughter begins with different strengths but then asymmetrically fades out, sometimes followed by applause or more laughter. Furthermore, at 2:24 we see it's not a television studio. It's probably not Broadway but it's a full auditorium. It's a full audience with two balconies of people; everyone is animated, clapping, eliminating the possibility of cardboard stick figures. Unlike television studios, there's no red sign above Maher to indicate when to "LAUGH RIGHT NOW".

And perfect timing? That's how these things go.

By way of comparison, there's this video of Lewis Black, far and away the funniest comedian alive today. He, too, is on a stage, verifiably, and the audience laughter shares all the same characteristics. Except the auditorium's interior decorating is far better, of course, and Lewis is far better.There we are. You simply didn't find him funny. That's fine, and in fact I would rate Maher medium on the funny scale, but just don't add the bullsh*t.
Though your analysis was thorough and must of been absolutely time consuming, you failed to realize that I was talking about the other video.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Deep Dish

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My bad. Sorry.
 

Nighthawk

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The clip of Ali G (Borat) doesn't use canned laughter. It was broadcast as part of the UKs 11 O'Clock Show and the laughs come from a studio audience watching a pre-edited clip.
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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Nighthawk said:
The clip of Ali G (Borat) doesn't use canned laughter. It was broadcast as part of the UKs 11 O'Clock Show and the laughs come from a studio audience watching a pre-edited clip.
I don't know, it's not typical for a television show to pipe through the audience reaction during a recorded clip. At least they major broadcasters here in the US. How do you know this?
 

Nighthawk

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I used to watch the show, and he used a similar set-up with clips being played to the audience on his own Da Ali G Show.

Uk tv rarely if ever use canned laughter, it's considered tacky and was cut from US imports like MASH. Some audience laughter might possibly be 'augmented' sometimes, I'm not sure, but I wouldn't have thought so in this instance. Ali G was pretty popular by the time this clip aired and wouldn't have found it difficult to raise the recorded level of laughter.

Showing pre-recorded clips to the studio audience and sound-tracking their reaction is pretty standard here. Doesn't The Daily Show do a similar thing with their edited-to-make-the-interviewee-look-dumb reports?
 
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