"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Bill Maher on Feminism

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Francisco d'Anconia

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:crackup: Oh I needed that... Someone needs to give him a show again.

LONG LIVE THE STREET CAT!
 

azanon

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Francisco d'Anconia said:
:crackup: Oh I needed that... Someone needs to give him a show again.
He's had one on HBO. The new season/first episode airs August 24.

Long live Bill Maher!
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Bonhomme

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:crackup: :crackup: :crackup:

Right fvcking on, Bill!
 

MrS

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Hahaha, that's pretty good.
I think I play it safe too much.
 

azanon

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Just watched it; the guy's brilliant. This is a must-see everyone.
 

comic_relief

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I love you, Bill Maher.

I watched him for two or three years.

comic_relief
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Francisco d'Anconia

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Deep Dish

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Francisco d'Anconia said:
I don't know... Gotta wonder whenever they have you use canned laughter.
It's clearly not canned.
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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Deep Dish said:
It's clearly not canned.
So how do you attribute starting and ending in unision, the perfect timing with the actors, the fact that the jokes weren't really that good?
 

Deep Dish

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While the first wave of laughter (0:05-0:07) is rather symmetrical, the subsequent laughters are asymmetrical (for example, 0:48-0:56 has laughter with applause, 1:03-1:06 is laughter continued from 0:59-1:01, and 1:21-1:26 has two distinct waves of laughter). Throughout the whole routine, laughter begins with different strengths but then asymmetrically fades out, sometimes followed by applause or more laughter. Furthermore, at 2:24 we see it's not a television studio. It's probably not Broadway but it's a full auditorium. It's a full audience with two balconies of people; everyone is animated, clapping, eliminating the possibility of cardboard stick figures. Unlike television studios, there's no red sign above Maher to indicate when to "LAUGH RIGHT NOW".

And perfect timing? That's how these things go.

By way of comparison, there's this video of Lewis Black, far and away the funniest comedian alive today. He, too, is on a stage, verifiably, and the audience laughter shares all the same characteristics. Except the auditorium's interior decorating is far better, of course, and Lewis is far better.
The fact that the jokes weren't really that good?
There we are. You simply didn't find him funny. That's fine, and in fact I would rate Maher medium on the funny scale, but just don't add the bullsh*t.
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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Deep Dish said:
While the first wave of laughter (0:05-0:07) is rather symmetrical, the subsequent laughters are asymmetrical (for example, 0:48-0:56 has laughter with applause, 1:03-1:06 is laughter continued from 0:59-1:01, and 1:21-1:26 has two distinct waves of laughter). Throughout the whole routine, laughter begins with different strengths but then asymmetrically fades out, sometimes followed by applause or more laughter. Furthermore, at 2:24 we see it's not a television studio. It's probably not Broadway but it's a full auditorium. It's a full audience with two balconies of people; everyone is animated, clapping, eliminating the possibility of cardboard stick figures. Unlike television studios, there's no red sign above Maher to indicate when to "LAUGH RIGHT NOW".

And perfect timing? That's how these things go.

By way of comparison, there's this video of Lewis Black, far and away the funniest comedian alive today. He, too, is on a stage, verifiably, and the audience laughter shares all the same characteristics. Except the auditorium's interior decorating is far better, of course, and Lewis is far better.There we are. You simply didn't find him funny. That's fine, and in fact I would rate Maher medium on the funny scale, but just don't add the bullsh*t.
Though your analysis was thorough and must of been absolutely time consuming, you failed to realize that I was talking about the other video.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Deep Dish

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My bad. Sorry.
 

Nighthawk

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The clip of Ali G (Borat) doesn't use canned laughter. It was broadcast as part of the UKs 11 O'Clock Show and the laughs come from a studio audience watching a pre-edited clip.
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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Nighthawk said:
The clip of Ali G (Borat) doesn't use canned laughter. It was broadcast as part of the UKs 11 O'Clock Show and the laughs come from a studio audience watching a pre-edited clip.
I don't know, it's not typical for a television show to pipe through the audience reaction during a recorded clip. At least they major broadcasters here in the US. How do you know this?
 

Nighthawk

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I used to watch the show, and he used a similar set-up with clips being played to the audience on his own Da Ali G Show.

Uk tv rarely if ever use canned laughter, it's considered tacky and was cut from US imports like MASH. Some audience laughter might possibly be 'augmented' sometimes, I'm not sure, but I wouldn't have thought so in this instance. Ali G was pretty popular by the time this clip aired and wouldn't have found it difficult to raise the recorded level of laughter.

Showing pre-recorded clips to the studio audience and sound-tracking their reaction is pretty standard here. Doesn't The Daily Show do a similar thing with their edited-to-make-the-interviewee-look-dumb reports?
 
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