Big fallacy on this site-Attraction

[Pancho]

Don't bother arguing with this guy, Player_Supreme....he's been here before, under another name until SexPDX got him banned. Now it looks like he's back.

Now, to my thoughts on this subject. Looks matter, attraction matter.....the secret is, however, that no guy is to ugly to get some decent poon. Hell, I'm not that attractive (decent, but no George Clooney), and I have no problems getting dates/laid. You gotta fix yourself up, walk confidently, get a twinkle of misheviousness in your eye, and grin like the worlds a joke and you the only one who's in on it.

True, there's a lot of bullsh*t on this site, now more than ever (and most of it is due to the streak of misogyny and p*ssy self pity present around here). Wah wah wah is all I hear these days.

Player_Supreme is a good one to listen to (although, I have to admit I feel uncomfortable with the whole "pimp" thing...I find it unnecessary and somewhat crueler than what I'm capable of).

Pancho

 

[Helter Skelter]

Of course if you have good DJ skills you can get women. You can have bad DJ skills and get women.

However, no matter how good your skills are, most of the really hot chicks are not going to go for you if your not good looking.

Why?

Because really hot chicks especially ones with good values. great personalities will have no problem finding a guy who is great looking, has excellent DJ skills, great personalty and is rich if that is a trait she is looking for.

If all you have is confidence an great DJ skills you can't compete for these truly rare females.

The reason I'm emphazing this it appears that almost every guy on this board is shooting for females with these qualties.

Now it's a whole other matter if your just looking to get laid by your average girl. That's not so difficult.

I was on one of Pook's threads an I told him I was watching this talk show where these 3 very famous, rich and powerful comedians where saying if personality and having a sense of humor is so important to women how come women aren't throwing themselves at us like they do with Brad Pitt and Tom Selleck.

Even though I love most of Pook's posts he had a pretty weak response. He basically said work out at the gym. Lets face it, if your not good looking muscles are only going to do so much for you.

There a lot of guys on this board complaining that they are putting their DJ skills to use and still not having any success.
If that's the case it's quite possible you are shooting for women who are out of your league. Instead of a hot babe 9 try a hot babe 6 you might have greater success.

To repeat again what echo said if the girl is not attracted to you, your not going to get very far with her.

If you find a girl butt ugly if she has a great personality an is confident will she be able to make you attracted to her. Probably not. Well it works the same way with girls if they think your ugly/unattractive.

 

[God_of_getting_layed]

Player supreme, you say it's impossible to fake IM?

How about we try an experiment. Ill post 10 IM's, some will be fake, some will be real.

Your task will be to discriminate the fake ones from the real ones. If your right, and it's impossible to fake IM, then you should have no problem discriminating the fake ones from the real ones

Then after your done, Ill tell you wich ones you got right, and which one's you failed on.

you digg?

 

[joey37]

Let me say this, I'm not what you'd call your typical "good looking" guy. I'm 6'2" tall and about 250lbs. I'm considered by most to have a muscular build, but kinda on the bulky side.


I attended a class this summer at a local college where females outnumbered males about 3 to 1. Now there where what society considers more traditionally better looking guys in this class than me ie thinner, younger, more hair.....BUT, as I got to conversing with these women and they found things out about my past accomplishments, I became the most popular guy with the ladies in this class.


I actually had women trying to switch seats with others to sit by me?????? Now, it wasn't looks that was attracting them, I was funny, acted a bit aloof and stood my ground with them on discussions.


So, even though I do agree that looks to a LARGE extent do determine your success with women, there are other factors that can help even the playing field for us average looking guys.

 

[StockTrader]

Looks are vastly overrated IMO. You don't have to be a model to land attractive women. Have you ever seen Ross Jeffries (the speed seduction guy)? Seriously, he looks like the 40 year old version of Dustin Diamond (Skreeh) from saved by the bell.

Just because a hot girl is out with a hot guy doesn't necessarly mean you have no chance if you are average looking. Is she really attracted to that guy? Or is she just going out with him so she isn't lonely on the weekends? Is he really an AFC?

Guys should always try to improve their looks. Smell nice, wear nice clothes, etc. But you don't have to be a Brad Pitt clone to be with hotties. Looks help. But solid game by a guy who is a 3-4 will beat AFC behavior by a 7 or 8.

It took me a long time to realize that looks aren't the deal breaker that society says they are. I read alot online that helped me believe it. I also observed more real life encounters of ugly guys getting women.

I'm 6"2, 160 lbs, and look a little like Finch from American Pie. Yet I've attracted a nice range of girls. Balls trump looks.

 

[Helter Skelter]

You don't have to be good looking to land a hot chick. But the truth is MOST really good looking girls choose really good looking guys.

There are always plenty of exceptions.

Most couples however, are within one or two points of each other.

 

[elvis aint dead yet]

blah blah looks vs skills, blah blah.

We all know looks matter.


The problem with this site is, many guys come on here, claim they did this, when it's either a lie, or they just like to read their own words.

As far as deangelo and jefferies, how do you know they get anything?

they are in it for the money, plain and simple.

A few years back, in the fitness world, many people followed a guy named bill phillips, he was the be all end all to many bb and fitness gurus. Truth is, he was just out to make an extra buck.

Don't bring up people who are out to take advantage of people as your proof looks don't matter.

The issue is, too many guys, AFCs or what not, come on here, take the advice, and start learning, start building up all this fake confidence, and then they go use it and bam! THey are smacked with reality and their confidence goes back to zero.

Looks still matter, but If your still in high school or college, yeah, you can talk and talk and talk and see the same girls over and over again in class or in lunch or the library, there is a chance you can convince them you are better looking then you actually are.

But once you graduate and go to the real world, you don't have a second chance to speak to most of the girls or people you meet.

You meet some girl, at a bar, on the street, in the grocery store, wherever and most likely you'll never see her again. So for most of the world, LOOKS MATTER, because you don't have a chance to convince her your anything but some guy she aint attracted to.

 

[echo1212]

Good points elvis. I've noticed that about getting older. When you get out in the real world, your first impression you give off is what matters, and 99 times out of 100-its based on appearance and attractivness..bottom line.

 

[Starman]

here is a little insight I'll share with you about looks vs confidence

I used to work at a Real Estate company as a Real estate agent..

there was this guy they hired who was a motivational speaker

he was short, old, ugly, bad teeth (he looked like a 40ish version of david spade)

Yet, he had this DYNAMIC personality..acted like he was god's gift to the world, and overly confident, driven, ambitious, and supposedly wealthy

The women in the office swooned over him whenever he walked in..and dated like 2-3 of the hottest babes in the office (even a 19 yr old)

I found out later from a friend of his that he was a PHONY..the guy was virtually BROKE, and neck high in bills..and wasnt the PERSON he portrayed in REAL LIFE..he was leasing a brand new Jaguar, and living in a posh condo that a friend had lent him at a very discounted rate

Yet some may think that women were only after his "supposed" wealth

yet he BUILT attraction based on his background, behavior and personality and women were lining up for his attention and for a chance to date him

and guys were constantly sucking up to him thinking they could pick his brain, befriend him, and become as successful as this man was

SO, where does this leave us??

If you want to allow your looks or lack of it..to become your handicap and seriously adhere to the popular belief that attraction CANT be built or created
you are basically doing a disservice to your own game by weeding out HB's that you think would NEVER go for you

all these dating "guru's" like deangelo, etc..will tell you attraction CANT be built..and either a woman will like you or she wont

I say he just doesnt know how to do it

but the proof is in the pudding..look all around you and OBSERVE the HB's hanging on the arms of ugly men

 

[echo1212]

Star, there are always exceptions and those are the ones you'll notice...because it does seem so "exceptional" and odd. Nothing is 100%. Well, maybe death and taxes and the Colts winning the super bowl this year . And yes, you have your occasional girls that go after a guy because he has alot of money, power or fame as i mentioned earlier and as the guy you gave as an example even though he was faking it. And you have to know those girls would have never gave him a second look if he hadn't taken on this false persona. But the bottom line is once again that is the exception...not the rule. Most times the average guy who walks around has no chane with a hb8 or 9 because she has guys considered to be 8's and 9's hitting on them all the time..so she has her pick of the litter so to speak. I honestly dont remember I saw a truely gorgeous girl around the arms of an ugly or even an average looking guy-most of the time the guys are right up there with the girl in looks.

Luckily, and I'm not bragging, I've been blessed with above average looks and physique, so I've done ok, and now have a beautiful gf, but I do know that I've gone after one or two girls in the past that probably didn't go for me because I wasn't a 10, and thats what they wanted. It usually boils down to a person wanting someone within a point of what they consider themselves to be..unless money or fame plays a role in the decision making.

 

[Helter Skelter]

Starman:

I agree it's possible and it does happen, an being postive/confident is a big plus, but come on, how many truly gorgeous girls do you see around the arms of "old, ugly guys with bad teeth. As a percentage it's very small.

Every one has seen this at one time or another but typically these girls are only dating good looking guys.

 

[Helter Skelter]

Echo we posted at the same time so I didn't see your post which basically said the same thing as mind.

 

[drZaius09]

Originally posted by Starman
If you want to allow your looks or lack of it..to become your handicap and seriously adhere to the popular belief that attraction CANT be built or created
you are basically doing a disservice to your own game by weeding out HB's that you think would NEVER go for you

You are doing everyone here a disservice by allowing your own subjective views of a person's looks interfere with the true nature of attraction. When you tell us that a certain man you once knew scored all the hot b1tches but was ugly as hell, that means nothing to us or anyone else. YOU thought he was ugly, not the girls. The girls found him attractive. They found him attractive the second they met him, he didn't "build" a goddamn thing. Your opinion of this man may be just and logical, but human nature is not meant to be logical. In fact, in the cases of sexual attraction, oftentimes reality is the diametric opposite of logical.

 

[echo1212]

Ditto skelter.

 

[Starman]

DrZaius,

its not just my subjective reality..I even asked some of the girls "What the hell is the appeal to that guy??"

the girls mostly said "He's not very good looking but there is something about him"

Lets just assume for a moment that what Im saying about looks being irrelelevent FALSE

would you (as a DJ) rather

a) Accept the truth that looks matter 100% and cripple yourself with scoring with HB's 9's and 10's for the rest of your life..because in exchange you have found TRUTH about looks

or

b) Fool yourself into thinking Looks DONT matter, and still try and score with the 9's and 10s?

who wins in this situation?


Maybe im coming off wrong..my debate isnt about Looks vs personality

its about the original post

CAN attraction be BUILT? or improved with DJ skills?

and this man, I tell you..if he walked into the office without the women knowing his background..he wouldnt even be given a 2nd look

but since women KNEW about his supposed "power", "wealth", "confidence"..something in their minds triggered arousal..and attraction

THAT is the area Im interested in , finding out exactly WHAT it is that shifts a girls mind from "he is blah" to "Hott damn!!"

 

[echo1212]

"THAT is the area Im interested in , finding out exactly WHAT it is that shifts a girls mind from "he is blah" to "Hott damn!!""

Well star, in this case its easy lol. It's called gold digging hos. Money holds alot of sway over alot of people.

Remember I said in my original post, attraction is not 100% looks. Money, power, fame and humor also can attract a girl. But building on that attraction, no matter how it is originally started, is not possible if some kind of attraction is not there to start with.

 

[drZaius09]

Originally posted by Starman
its not just my subjective reality..I even asked some of the girls "What the hell is the appeal to that guy??"

the girls mostly said "He's not very good looking but there is something about him"

First of all, it would be irresponsible to admiss anything a woman says of this topic into a rational discussion. Women lie as a matter of course. Perhaps they were embarrassed that they found him attractive because he wasn't what many people would consider traditionally good-looking, so they lied to you.

Second, let me clarify that when I say "looks" I do not just include physical attributes. What I mean is appearance. How you carry yourself, how you dress, how you groom yourself, whether or not you maintain eye contact, etc etc. These things are all immediately processed when we meet someone and they all account for our attraction to that person or lack thereof.

Lets just assume for a moment that what Im saying about looks being irrelelevent FALSE

would you (as a DJ) rather

a) Accept the truth that looks matter 100% and cripple yourself with scoring with HB's 9's and 10's for the rest of your life..because in exchange you have found TRUTH about looks...

I don't understand where this argument is coming from. I never suggested that anyone should adopt the mindset that they are ugly to women and therefore should completely give up on scoring with hot chicks. All I am saying is that we need to pick our battles with more discretion. We need to realize that not ALL women are going to be attracted to us, and when we find one who isn't, the smart move is to pack up our sh1t and move along. Trying to "build" something that naturally doesn't exist is a complete waste of our time and efforts, especially when there are so many other targets to consider.

 

[Helter Skelter]

Dr Z. You are truly the doctor

 

[Starman]

Originally posted by echo1212
"THAT is the area Im interested in , finding out exactly WHAT it is that shifts a girls mind from "he is blah" to "Hott damn!!""

Well star, in this case its easy lol. It's called gold digging hos. Money holds alot of sway over alot of people.

Remember I said in my original post, attraction is not 100% looks. Money, power, fame and humor also can attract a girl. But building on that attraction, no matter how it is originally started, is not possible if some kind of attraction is not there to start with.

I see where you are coming from..but even if power, money, fame..have the ability to shift a womans perception from "not attractive" to "very attractive", wouldnt you agree that its based on female perception?

A perception that could easily be shifted and manipulated ? (i.e. even if you are a phony rich man, you have tapped into the grey area of attraction in women..and used it to BUILD attraction)

DrZ,

I agree that you should choose battles with more discretion and not get hung up on just ONE girl- by using all your DJ techniques..and then coming up with zilch

My point is about the COMPLETE mindset..you should always meet women with the Mindset that you are a complete 10 - a supermodel

even if you arent, its all subjective right??

 

[echo1212]

"A perception that could easily be shifted and manipulated ? (i.e. even if you are a phony rich man, you have tapped into the grey area of attraction in women..and used it to BUILD attraction)"

Yes, it is possible on the rare occasion..but again, why waste time money and effort on something that may turn out every 1 out of 50 or 100 times. Opportunity costs my star friend, opportunity costs.