Big fallacy on this site-Attraction

[echo1212]

Alot of the guys on here have this false impression that no matter who the girl is, as long as you are c/f, a challange and not afc, they'll go for you. But the thing is, none of that matters if she has little or no attraction for you. I think alot of the younger guys who have struggled with women in the past have latched onto this theory and given them alot of false hope that in real life just doesn't work out.

What it all comes down to guys-pure and simple-is ATTRACTION. As long as the girl is attracted to you in some way, whether it be looks (which is 95% of the time) money, power, humor, etc. then those techniques will have some affect. But if the girl is not attracted to you in any way or even just as a friend, you can be c/f or a challenge to you're blue in the face and it will NEVER work.

So concentrate on the girls that have medium to high IL in you, and you'll save yourself alot of time, money, and embarrasment

 

[Mazman]

Yup. I see these threads a lot.

"I did everything right, but she still ignores me".

It's nice to have the mentality that every woman wants you, but you also have to be realistic.

 

[ManOMan]

I dont think looks matter 95% of the time, thats a little steep and skewed donchya think?

I understand your point about guys latching on to these theories/techniques too often, but it usually seems like its the guys (like me) who really don't have a full grasp on BUILDING attraction

by building attraction, I don't mean with just one girl, I mean being the BEST you can be and integrating these theories into your personality, then exhuding it in interaction with women

Im not trying to be unrealistic or give myself hope that looks dont matter, they do

but Ive tried alot of these techniques (especially Social Proof and Eye Contact) and have had women who wouldnt normally be interested in me, suddenly come up to me at bars or parties

If you want to really know how you fare in the world based on looks alone, put an ad on a singles site and see how many women respond based on just your looks

for women in REAL life situations I seriously believe personality is the other 50%

Im not the best looking guy in the world, but I have had a few ladies who went for me based on my looks AND personality

just a thought

 

[Mr. Latte]

When it comes down to it, men aren't THAT different from women. They want a challenge, and they want someone who looks good on their arm.

When an ugly girl who THINKS she's hot hits on you, and you're laughing on the inside at her, have you ever stopped to think that girls are the same way?
Don't get me wrong, confidence is important, VERY much so...but an ugly confident person is still ugly.

The trick is realizing that what some girls find ugly, some find attractive, so always be willing to take your chances. And ASSUME she's into you until proven otherwise. In the end though, looks are important. She doesn't want an ugly guy any more than you want an ugly girl.

 

[echo1212]

Hmmm, 95% is probably a little high, but not by much. I mean, how many girls are you first attracted to because of their personalities? Hardly any, and slim to none when it comes down to having sex with them. I mean you could have the coolest funest non beeeootchiest girl in the world, but when it comes down to puttin that sausage in the oven, if she weighs 200 pounds its just not happening.

And don't think otherwise, women are almost exactly the same way. Sure they'll talk about wanting nice guys, humor, being a gentleman, but believe me women want the same thing we do, a hot piece of ass to get dirty with. I've had talks with women on this, and almost all of them say what it comes down to is sexual (physcial attraction). The exceptions being guys with alot of money or power that can sway some flaky shallow women.

My main point on all of this is you'll know pretty quickly whether a girl is into you sexually or not, and from pervious experience its so much better to just let go of the ones that don't have immeadite high IL and save your time, money and energy for ones that do.

 

[ManOMan]

Good point Mr. Latte, but Im not talking about Grossly obese women suddenly becoming attractive

Im average in the face (maybe 5-6) and above average in body (7-8) and work out often

and for discussion purposes, I dont think many of the users here are grossly ugly that they can't land a girl

but Ive also read somewhere men are more Visual than women

and I have to admit, in my years of meeting women I have been attracted to the hottest of the hottest, and have also been attracted to 4-5 rated girls (I dont know why)

and some of my better looking friends who can EASILY score with 8-9's always choose 5 or 6's as their girlfriends

The point is , attraction is not just 95% looks and there are things you can do as a WHOLE to improve the attractive characteristics you exhude

dont you read some of the posts on here saying "GOD! I CANT BELIEVE THIS GIRL WENT FOR ME!!!"

there has to be some balance with these theories

 

[echo1212]

Man o man---then why is it when you see a guy and girl together either on a date, bf-gf, or husband and wife...9 times out of ten they are within a point of each other looks wise? I've always wondered about that and its amazing to me how we unconsiously or consiously "seek out" and gravitate to girls or guys that are somewhere within our own scale looks wise. Yes their are exceptions such as guys with tons of money or actors, music stars, etc, but most of the time we all end up with someone close to us. Always amazed me.

 

[Mr. Latte]

same here...I'm attracted to the 8-9 like everyone else, but once in a while, I'll be attracted to a 4 or a 5, and be into her. Looks matter, but as corny as it sounds, "beauty is in the eye of the beholder."

 

[FlyGuy]

Yeah I hear guys say things like "I see ugly dudes with hot chicks all the time." and I have to wonder what planet they're from. In my experience echo is right - 9 times outta ten a couple is fairly well matched in the looks department.

 

[ManOMan]

Oh I totally agree with you that as humans we try to get the Best bang for our buck, that is, people typically opt to hook up with someone better or equally in looks as themselves

but just as much as I see people on equal footing with each other..I also see some very bizzarre mismatches , like HB's dating "thugs", guys with scars on their faces, scruffy/unshaven guys with hot dames, dweebs with HB's

but I think as far as looks go, somewhere it levels off for women (i.e. you dont have to be Brad Pitt, but have a decent face and a nice body)

I dont mean to turn this into a Looks vs. Personality issue, but its unavoidable

I can only go based on what I observe in the world around me and what I have experienced myself

and I can tell you, I have built attraction with women based on some of these DJ techniques (even before I knew there were actual techniques)

I noticed whenever I touched a girl..she was more attracted to me (then later discovered its called KINO)

I notice when I have female friends with me at night clubs, other girls become attracted to me

I notice when I keep eye contact and joke and tease women vs. just keeping quiet, introverted, etc..I fare better with the former

I think these techniques should be a sub-component of your personality (kind of like when your brush your hair, teeth, bathe to improve your looks, DJ techniques are the personality equivalence of it)

 

[Helter Skelter]

If guys put looks as the most important feature. How come most guys have ugly or should I say partners who are NOT attractive.

A relatively small percentage of guys have hot girlfriends/wives.
An yes, it is true MOST guys who have hot chicks are really good looking also.

Of course their are exceptions, but lets face it most of you guys are going to end up with ugly girls. Sorry.

 

[echo1212]

Again though lets not get too much off subject. Basically what I am saying is it doesn't matter what DJ techniques you use on a girl. If there is not that initial sexual attraction for her too you, you're just wasting your time. Those techniques can only help you build on that initial level of attraction and also to help keep her attracted to you.

 

[God_of_getting_layed]

What's so funny about this thread is how there are so many people posting their comments, and they have absolutely no clue on how women really work, and what women are really like.

It's funny how everyone thinks they know how women work. But the concrete evidence that proves this board is still in the darkages of understanding women is the fact that no one on here is able to get a 90% success rate with women.

But this post is true as hell. This whole site is just one big fallacy. And its a perfect example of the blind leading the blind (people who think they know women teaching the so called AFC's)

 

[FlyGuy]

Those techniques can only help you build on that initial level of attraction and also to help keep her attracted to you.

True, but does it help to dwell on this? I agree that we should all keep things in perspective but if the truth really is that "everyone has different standards for physical attraction" (which I personally think is BS) then wouldn't it be better to simply use the DJ stuff on every girl regardless and "assume the sale"? If she doesn't like the way you look you move on, otherwise the risk pays off.

 

[echo1212]

Exactly fly that was the theme of my initial post. IF the IL is not there to begin with, the DJ techniques have no affect-so just move on.

 

[Helter Skelter]

Echo,

I just wanted to say this was a really good post of yours. It's important that DJ's realize no matter how good your game is if she is not attracted to you. You have no chance. DJ skills are not some kind of miracle formula that can make women attracted to us.
You should make yourself the best person you can be but realize that can only get you so far.

I'm tired of some of these guys on this board acting like if you could only act more or talk more like me, than you would have gotten the girl.
It's quite possible he didn't screw up, and the girl just had no attraction to him.

 

[DJZ]

I agree that looks make up about 60% percent of it. I don't think looks are 95%, though.

Have you not ever thought a girl was just decent looking, maybe a 5, not really interested in her, and after you hung around her some you started liking her more? How about in class, maybe a girl that you never even noticed before, b/c she was just average, all the sudden started standing out to you, and you felt an attraction towards her? I've had that happen plenty of times. I don't know why, I guess they just had that magic personality.

I have seen plenty of smokin women with just average guys. Then I've seen plenty of built physically fit guys with thick women. Who knows what happened, maybe the other person had a smokin body when they first started dating, and slowly let it go to flab?

What do you think is more important for a guy to have...a built/cut body, or a pretty face? I think girls like the bod, but I really think the face is more important to them.

 

[WestCoaster]

Be seen with another woman

While I do agree a lot with the initial post, that some women are just not attracted. However, and this is almost fool-proof, if you ask out a woman and she's not attracted to you and you brush off her rejection like it didn't phase you AND within a couple days you're seen with another woman, the woman who shut you down will all of the sudden become VERY interested.

It's the laws of the strange psyche of women. They're jealous, possessive human beings and cannot for the life of them believe anyone is better.

This has happened to me quite a few times. The times it didn't happen, well, you're right, that woman wasn't attracted to me.

 

[homie123]

Great post echo1212. Spot on.

I think this post should go into the bible as kind of an end of reading **warning**.

Meaning even though you will learn all of the DJ ways and become better at it-sometimes it doesn't really matter what you do, and you should move on and not take rejection personally.

 

[xblitz44x]

Amen! Well, sorta. A woman's prompt for attraction will always go off on sight. So in a sense; it's going to be your looks. Not so much if you're handsome or not, but rather if the degree of "maleness" that you expell happens to be exactly the amount of maleness she happens to require. Kinda complicated but just go with it.

If her prompt goes off, and she decides that she'd do you - what that means is that you are suddenly granted all kinds of things that you don't deserve. "I'll bet he's romantic, confident, sexy, great in bed, carefree....etc". She might not say this outloud but it's whats driving her unconsciously. Then she has the conversation with you. It is during conversation that you are going to fvck it up or not. If you get through this; and she still wants to do you, it's just a matter of waiting for the right time.

If she's "attracted" to the guy because of money or power then it's not an unconscious driven feeling, but rather an opportunitity for her EGO to get fed with surface level, material things. The guy himself isn't attractive, it's what he can provide to her.

"if you ask out a woman and she's not attracted to you and you brush off her rejection like it didn't phase you AND within a couple days you're seen with another woman, the woman who shut you down will all of the sudden become VERY interested." -WestCoaster

If that happened to you; then the girl was attracted to you to begin with. Just because she didn't accept a date, or give you her number, or do you on the spot, doesn't mean she wasnt' attracted to you. There could have been a billion factors that would have influenced her decision to NOT accept your date. When she got jealous that you were out with another girl,, it doesn't mean that she magically "BECAME" interested. Most likely her ego was hit; and the fact that you blew her off, and are not sweating her and wanting her makes her feel invalid. She figues if she can drop some hints you'll take that as she wants to do you and "became" interested. That way you'll give her the attention she needs to feel wanted and her ego will be gratified. Sick. But true.

-Blitz