"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Beyond confused and help...

SoSuaveDude

Senior Don Juan
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Okay so i know one-itis is deadly, and ill admit that im pretty sure ive caught it. There's this girl who originally initiated great interest in me two months ago. Things were going great, went out on a date, and got the make-out session. Slowly after the date, her interest began to fade. Now it seems that she has completely let me go. No initiated contact from her, and i haven't been contacting her either.

However, last week i did. The message was pretty flirty and she received it well. She called me hot and laughed at my jokes, but immediately after the convo, i realized that i just evolved the one-itis into an even more impenetrable state. She hasn't contacted me this week, and seems to mention another ex/guy on facebook (i know i should delete/unfriend her but i encounter her at church, and she didn't exactly do anything wrong). Quite frankly, i just want to get over her for my health and sanity sake.

Problem is: She goes to my church. I realistically see her every sunday, or atleast every other sunday. How can i truly move on if im continually met with her presence. Im pretty sure this girl is poisonous too... Whenever we're at church, she'll throw heated eye contact (3+ seconds) and virtually chase me around. But during the away periods, i never hear a utterance from her.

She is prob a player, and I most likely have this nasty one-itis due to my lack of numerous past experiences in dealing with women. I fell too quickly for this one, and i know many will say spin plates, but im just trying to stay focused on school, and this girl is constantly colliding with my attention and focus. I literally can't stop thinking about her multiple times throughout the day. Help! :eek:

im 18, shes 23, and i guess i should just be thankful i got to makeout with an older chick haha
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Mantis Toboggan

Master Don Juan
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Well, the only thing I can say is the reality of it. Which is, you had one date and you made out with her. And it was two months ago.

She's far from a big deal. Very far. You didn't date for a year. You didn't live together and break up. You went on one date and you made out.

So the only help I can offer is to remind you that you never lost the girl because you never had the girl.
 

SoSuaveDude

Senior Don Juan
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Mantis Toboggan said:
Well, the only thing I can say is the reality of it. Which is, you had one date and you made out with her. And it was two months ago.

She's far from a big deal. Very far. You didn't date for a year. You didn't live together and break up. You went on one date and you made out.

So the only help I can offer is to remind you that you never lost the girl because you never had the girl.
Yeah, i fell extremely hard due to lack of experience. That's why im saying this is definitely not her fault. I just don't understand why im so attached to this woman and worshiping her in particular. It's probably because in essence she's playing the push/pull, hot/cold game on me whether she's aware of it or not. Anymore advice would be appreciated, thanks...
 

RedZone

Senior Don Juan
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I used to have a similar problem. I really liked this girl who was my friends sister and after things didn't work out I still had to see her.

Mind you at least you got somewhere with this chick...I didn't even come close. Looking back I was such a big afc.

What's great about life though is we are supposed to have these moments. Nobody is meant to know how to get through these situations at first. It's just part of life, but having this experience will help you grow and learn for the next time. I know I have...I'm not a Don Juan or what I like to think of a Don Juan Draper but I'm def. closer.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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oscarxp25

Don Juan
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Sep 11, 2005
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move on and flirt with other girls while flirting with her when she is around.. DO NOT wait for her...I did that years ago and lost many great girl opportunities and life experiences
 
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