"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Best way to open in a text

Fly By Night

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I got her number, but she does not have mine. How should my first message look like? I was going for a funny text with a hint about where we met. My only doubt about this is that she will get creeped out because it will appear as a random number on her phone.

How would you guys make the first text seem?
 

“The 22 Psychological Triggers That Make Women Chase You… Starting Tonight”

Forget the cash, the cars, and the chiseled jawlines. Female desire operates on a completely different frequency. Primal. Subconscious. Triggers that bypass her logic and hit her on a gut level. Most guys are totally blind to them.

I know because I was one of them. The overthinking. The paralysis. The silent drive home kicking yourself for freezing up. Watching average guys walk away with the girl while you stood there stuck in your own head.

Then I decoded the psychology behind what actually makes women tick. 22 hard rules.  Subtle behavioral shifts that rewired my entire reality. The anxiety evaporated. Women started leaning in. Investing. Chasing.

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In2theGame

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I always do the " Hey ;) " line and if she was into me... she will respond positively by saying heyy.. then go from there.
 

Zerro

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In2theGame said:
I always do the " Hey ;) " line and if she was into me... she will respond positively by saying heyy.. then go from there.
This one works for me as well, if she wants to talk she'll respond. Also it flips the tables as she's the one coming in cold rather than you had you begun with "Hi, what's up?"
 

Fly By Night

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It's ok, I would rather come in strong and get rejected than come in weak, drag the conversation on, then get rejected when I decide to ask for a date.

Saving money on text messaging :)
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Zerro

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Mantis Toboggan said:
Men don't use smileys. I seriously hope you didn't text a smiley.
Indeed I did and it worked. Real Men aren't afraid to look a bit silly in front of women who are interested in them.
 

Mantis Toboggan

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Fly By Night said:
Son of a... I was wondering whether or not I should have and I chose to do so.
I'm just busting your balls. But for real, don't be one of those dudes always sending smileys.

Zerro said:
Indeed I did and it worked. Real Men aren't afraid to look a bit silly in front of women who are interested in them.
I make jokes and stuff. I just don't attach a ":)" at the end. Maybe I'm an old geezer at 31, but it just doesnt feel right.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Zerro

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An occasional smilie at the end also helps them know when you're being sarcastic when you may instead come across as mean, since text doesn't carry your facial expression or tone of voice. I do have much better results using them than not.
 

PapiChulo

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Text her this: "you wanna fu@k?" and add a smiley face at the end.
 

ARrocket

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Wink faces are acceptable.

B!tches love wink faces.

Plus, as someone said, it helps with the whole sarcastic stuff. And makes innuendo that much better.
 

BigSmooth

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I would put a smiley face in text messages...if I actually gave a sh*t about texting.

Texting is a beast all on its own. Things get taken the wrong way. People use it too much as their primary outlet of communication, and end up awkward in real life. Texting distorts things.


Back in the day, I would love to have long text conversations with girls and do all that smiley sh*t, because I felt like the longer conversations we had, the better we would "bond". However, that is not the case.


Now, I merely use text messaging as a quick gateway to plan something with someone, or quickly catch up with someone.


And @Fly By Night, "Hey ;)" should suffice. Let us know how it works out.
 

Barracuda

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I usually give her a nickname when we first meet.

That way, when I text her, it's obvious who it is.

I also refer back to some kind of teasing I did too.. it acts as an anchor to remind her of how much fun we had.

"Hey *nickname* .. still *blah blah blah ?*"

Then you get to continue the frame right from where you left off.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Desdinova

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First text is always "Hey, it's Des! How are you?" Comedy follows the first text.

And WTF is with 'smileys' not being manly? I'm pretty sure it was a MAN who invented the goddam things back in the early 1980s as there were almost no computer savvy women back then.
 

Iceberg

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Desdinova said:
First text is always "Hey, it's Des! How are you?" Comedy follows the first text.

And WTF is with 'smileys' not being manly? I'm pretty sure it was a MAN who invented the goddam things back in the early 1980s as there were almost no computer savvy women back then.

Well, I mean....men invented tampons too. Doesn't make them manly.
 

BigSmooth

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omega05 said:
B!tches love smiley faces
Yes, so if you are a b!tch, feel free to use a smiley face.

:crackup:
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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