"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

Read more...

Being yourself or impressing a girl in regards to a guy's lifestyle?

crackers444

Don Juan
Joined
Dec 17, 2006
Messages
44
Reaction score
0
Location
Sydney, Nova Scotia
I am wondering, when talking with a girl and she asks you for example "what do you do for fun?".Should you be yourself and tell her the truth or try and impress her and say you like to go to bars/drink(when in fact you don't do either), for not being seen as an outcast from the majority of young girl's and guys who do frequent bars/drink.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

Climax

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 2, 2004
Messages
2,329
Reaction score
5
Honesty is the best policy.

If there is something about yourself that you think needs working on, then work on it so that you wont have to lie to be proud to be you. ;)
 
Joined
Jul 31, 2007
Messages
177
Reaction score
5
Location
Here
crackers444 said:
I am wondering, when talking with a girl and she asks you for example "what do you do for fun?".Should you be yourself and tell her the truth or try and impress her and say you like to go to bars/drink(when in fact you don't do either), for not being seen as an outcast from the majority of young girl's and guys who do frequent bars/drink.
I don't understand where you are coming from. Do you really think you can impress a woman by telling her you are just like every other chode out there?

More importantly, why are you reaction seeking? Why are you in a frame where you are assessing everything you say in terms of how much it impresses her?

Learn how to express your authentic self confidently. That is attractive.
 

Interceptor

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 25, 2007
Messages
2,609
Reaction score
135
Location
Florida
You can only do this in the most optimum manner once you have established GOOD Rapport.
Otherwise, be C+F and respectfully evade the questions. You must calibrate if her attempts at rapport are sincere, or genuine, and when exactly is she inserting them..at what stage of the interaction?

You don't always have to be 100 percent serious in your replies to her, in the first interactions, because you need to understand and show her you are not needy or desperate, and are not 'trying to impress' her or 'pursue' her, or trying to 'get her to like you."

You must be patient and disiplined though.
And recognize the exact moment she starts the rapport and comfort stages.
This is crucial.

See if you can wait for her to intitate the change in the interaction.



As a general rule, avoid trying to impress, and trying to Qualify yourself to her.
You can share similarities, commonalities, similar intererest, hobbies, etc.
But be well calibrated.


In addition, anytime you satisfy HER request for more informtation ALWAYS throw out one of your own.

Her: "What do you like to do for fun?"

You: (In Attraction) "I like to go waterboarding." (grin)

Her: "Cool. Sounds like fun!"

You: "silly girl! You don't know what waterboarding IS , do you??!" (laughs)

Her: "so, what do you like to do for fun?"

You: (in Rapport and comfort) "I like to do kickboxing, and go out with my friends. We like to go out to the beach and have a BBQ. Listen to music. I also like to go out to concerts, and yada yada (keep strong eye contact, be intimate, and stay close in proximity to her, stay warm to her)

So what do you like to do for fun?" (in rapport and comfort , you must do this)

Her: "Um..well. I like to yada yada and I also do kickboxing as well.."

You: (IOI and SOI right now) "Thats cool. I like that about you. You're independent and strong, and into fitness. That's sexy."




If it is not reciprocal she will realize it, and she will realize that you are desperate.
 
Last edited:
Joined
Nov 3, 2005
Messages
183
Reaction score
1
Good topic! I was wondering this same exact thing! Because of my ex gf and probably my own nature, I really liked staying in and watching a movie with her and never was really into the bar/club scene that much, but I also liked going with her to different places - i.e. museums, the beach, Pasadena, Santa Monica, Venice, etc. I pretty much try to be honest for the most part, but I will fabricate slightly so as to not look too much like I dont go out.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

Read more...

Top