PxDx
Don Juan
That's right folks! I took it too far..took her interest level from sky high to nil.
I guess...live & learn.
I guess...live & learn.
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Being TOO aloof..yep it backfired!
- Thread starter PxDx
- Start date
"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
Jeremymichael
Senior Don Juan
sorry to hear that. What I like about this site is the way we can all share our lifes experiences, be it good, bad indifferent.
I share your loss, the girl I quite like stood me up the other day for no reason apart from she had a hangover. She never called me, or texted me just didn't turn up. I never could see her being like that.
Still she will find me aloof like you soon enough. keep smiling!
I share your loss, the girl I quite like stood me up the other day for no reason apart from she had a hangover. She never called me, or texted me just didn't turn up. I never could see her being like that.
Still she will find me aloof like you soon enough. keep smiling!
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
So what are you going to do differently?PxDx said:That's right folks! I took it too far..took her interest level from sky high to nil.
I guess...live & learn.
PxDx
Don Juan
Any recommendations?Francisco d'Anconia said:So what are you going to do differently?
There are a small percentage of women who get turned off by someone who's aloof. Just feel it out, and say something meaningfull to her and see what she responds with. Or call her up and tell her you went through some personal stuff with your job, family, etc, and weren't all there for her.
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Yeah, it backfired on me too recently. What I try to do, because I know that I'm too laid-back and non-chalant in general, is go into situations thinking "what will I regret not doing?"
For example, I chill with some girl a couple of times and I don't really care for a relationship. Then I think "what will I think of this later, passing up this opportunity?" So instead of doing nothing, then next time we're walking through the park we end up attempting to tango and then I kiss her goodbye. Now, at the time I don't feel like I care about whether or not I make any moves, butttt... I know that I'll regret passing it up later. So I act on what I'll feel later.
I don't know if it applies to you, but I'm aloof in a way where I could care less at the time, but after something passes you by it hits you hard. So I try to always think of the long-term impacts even if they seem so far away at the time.
For example, I chill with some girl a couple of times and I don't really care for a relationship. Then I think "what will I think of this later, passing up this opportunity?" So instead of doing nothing, then next time we're walking through the park we end up attempting to tango and then I kiss her goodbye. Now, at the time I don't feel like I care about whether or not I make any moves, butttt... I know that I'll regret passing it up later. So I act on what I'll feel later.
I don't know if it applies to you, but I'm aloof in a way where I could care less at the time, but after something passes you by it hits you hard. So I try to always think of the long-term impacts even if they seem so far away at the time.
Interceptor
Master Don Juan
You're not QUALIFYING her, dude.
That's why you don't know how to calibrate.
If she's worth it, you will know, and ACT accordingly.
But if you don't even KNOW, and you misguidedly apply a technique, without understanding its usage, then you are neither here nor there, man.
Understand her Interest Level, and what degree of commitment to YOU she has.
Then determine her womanly NEEDS, and award them accordingly.
Comprende?
That's why you don't know how to calibrate.
If she's worth it, you will know, and ACT accordingly.
But if you don't even KNOW, and you misguidedly apply a technique, without understanding its usage, then you are neither here nor there, man.
Understand her Interest Level, and what degree of commitment to YOU she has.
Then determine her womanly NEEDS, and award them accordingly.
Comprende?
B4IFURU18?
Don Juan
- Joined
- Jul 26, 2007
- Messages
- 195
- Reaction score
- 1
Well WTF did you do? Give some explanation before a bunch of us give idiotic advice, per usual...
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
Be interesting instead of aloof.PxDx said:Any recommendations?
PxDx
Don Juan
Well...she basically confessed how much she was into me. And i guess i let it go to my head & i disappeared for a week. Ya know taking sh!t for granted!B4IFURU18? said:Well WTF did you do? Give some explanation before a bunch of us give idiotic advice, per usual...
To be honest i went on a week binge of drug use(pharmaceuticals) which i never do...but i did. I don't think thats something i could explain to her.
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"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.