"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Being nice

J

Jamo

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I just had a revelation. I am currently studying under a yoga master (one of the benefits of living in India I guess), and it just made sense to me why being "nice" is truly a negative thing.

When someone is being nice, it usually means they expect something in return (and thus they are not behaving the way they really are), and that is the source of all misery. You cannot expect another person to reciprocate in a certain way through your actions, and when you do you set yourself up for hurt.

Therefore the only time when someone should be nice is when both the heart and mind are in agreement (when you truly do not expect anything in return). The way I read that is if a person is already behaving in a way that is agreeable to you it is okay to be nice (positive reinforcement). If there is any disagreement between the heart and the mind, you should follow your mind.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Bible_Belt

Bible_Belt

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If there is any disagreement between the heart and the mind, you should follow your mind.


Your mind, and perhaps your fists as well. Yoga is actually the very ancient martial art of India. The fighting part has dropped away over the years. Now it is mostly stretching and philosophy. Very long ago, when you taught people how to kill other people, it was important to also teach them a set of morals so that they used their new power wisely.
 
J

Jamo

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Bible_Belt said:
If there is any disagreement between the heart and the mind, you should follow your mind.


Your mind, and perhaps your fists as well. Yoga is actually the very ancient martial art of India. The fighting part has dropped away over the years. Now it is mostly stretching and philosophy. Very long ago, when you taught people how to kill other people, it was important to also teach them a set of morals so that they used their new power wisely.
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That is not entirely correct. Certain elements of yoga were incorporated into ancient Indian martial arts but yoga itself was not meant for combat.
 
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Jamo

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JustLurk said:
Of course. Being nice and expecting something in return isn't being nice, it's being manipulative. A fairly common manipulative technique, actually, and one that comes in various forms.

EDIT: I can see how Tai Chi used to be a fighting style but Yoga is a stretch (heh) for me.
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Unfortunately most "nice" guys don't realize this. They genuinely believe that being nice will be reciprocated /appreciated by a woman. If it is being used consciously as a manipulative technique that is another matter.
 
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Scaramouche

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Dear Jamo,
Nice goes to the back of the Queue......be nice and Western women use you as a doormat.....Many Years ago,I asked a hardened old Outback Barmaid,how I should treat a Woman.....Treat her rough and ride her hard she replied.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Jamo

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Scaramouche said:
Dear Jamo,
Nice goes to the back of the Queue......be nice and Western women use you as a doormat.....Many Years ago,I asked a hardened old Outback Barmaid,how I should treat a Woman.....Treat her rough and ride her hard she replied.
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Nice does not work in general. In fact I would venture to say that European women are more receptive to "nice" than Indian women!
 
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22 Rules for Massive Success With Women
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