"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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Being nice

J

Jamo

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I just had a revelation. I am currently studying under a yoga master (one of the benefits of living in India I guess), and it just made sense to me why being "nice" is truly a negative thing.

When someone is being nice, it usually means they expect something in return (and thus they are not behaving the way they really are), and that is the source of all misery. You cannot expect another person to reciprocate in a certain way through your actions, and when you do you set yourself up for hurt.

Therefore the only time when someone should be nice is when both the heart and mind are in agreement (when you truly do not expect anything in return). The way I read that is if a person is already behaving in a way that is agreeable to you it is okay to be nice (positive reinforcement). If there is any disagreement between the heart and the mind, you should follow your mind.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Bible_Belt

Bible_Belt

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If there is any disagreement between the heart and the mind, you should follow your mind.


Your mind, and perhaps your fists as well. Yoga is actually the very ancient martial art of India. The fighting part has dropped away over the years. Now it is mostly stretching and philosophy. Very long ago, when you taught people how to kill other people, it was important to also teach them a set of morals so that they used their new power wisely.
 
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Jamo

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Bible_Belt said:
If there is any disagreement between the heart and the mind, you should follow your mind.


Your mind, and perhaps your fists as well. Yoga is actually the very ancient martial art of India. The fighting part has dropped away over the years. Now it is mostly stretching and philosophy. Very long ago, when you taught people how to kill other people, it was important to also teach them a set of morals so that they used their new power wisely.
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That is not entirely correct. Certain elements of yoga were incorporated into ancient Indian martial arts but yoga itself was not meant for combat.
 
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Jamo

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JustLurk said:
Of course. Being nice and expecting something in return isn't being nice, it's being manipulative. A fairly common manipulative technique, actually, and one that comes in various forms.

EDIT: I can see how Tai Chi used to be a fighting style but Yoga is a stretch (heh) for me.
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Unfortunately most "nice" guys don't realize this. They genuinely believe that being nice will be reciprocated /appreciated by a woman. If it is being used consciously as a manipulative technique that is another matter.
 
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Scaramouche

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Dear Jamo,
Nice goes to the back of the Queue......be nice and Western women use you as a doormat.....Many Years ago,I asked a hardened old Outback Barmaid,how I should treat a Woman.....Treat her rough and ride her hard she replied.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Jamo

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Scaramouche said:
Dear Jamo,
Nice goes to the back of the Queue......be nice and Western women use you as a doormat.....Many Years ago,I asked a hardened old Outback Barmaid,how I should treat a Woman.....Treat her rough and ride her hard she replied.
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Nice does not work in general. In fact I would venture to say that European women are more receptive to "nice" than Indian women!
 
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