"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Being more assertive at work

European-DJ

Master Don Juan
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Many years ago when I stumbled upon this forum, it changed my dating life and how I interact with people in general drastically. Massive improvement that yielded tangible results.
However, it never really transpired to the work-space, where my upbringing of “respecting your seniors” have stuck a bit too deep. Am by far the most appreciated worker and my bonuses are thereafter, but recently I’ve also been dumped a lot of shirk on my as a result of my “never say no attitude”.

I am in desperate need of a change to my work-place mentality and was hoping something had gone through a similar development and could share with me what really worked for them, whether that be tips / tricks / books / articles.

/European
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Ricky

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This has happened to me alot over the years.

saying no requires practice and its ok to start doing it even when you have the bandwidth for things. Its ok to protect your schedule
 

The Duke

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Hard to do for some, but its really as simple as saying no more often. They'll find someone else to do it. Not a big deal. Just be one of the best at what you do.

Saying no was never hard for me, especially during my 20 years in corporate America. I still got good pay raises, and they respected me for my knowledge and work ethic. I was still offered promotions, most I turned down.

People will continue to push your boundaries(many will abuse them), until you stand firm. Its up to you. Stop worrying about what they think. Don't be a "yes" man.
 
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